The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

Eagles are 1-3 after their New Yorks Giants lost.

Phillies made the playoffs. Eliminating who? The New York Mets.
It’s all about the Phillies this year on this site.

- AP

It’s good to be back. I had a great company meeting/mini-vacation - although I’d say working nearly 15 hours a day hardly counts as a vacation.

I’ll get to more Pasadena news in a little bit but my company held their annual meeting at the Westin in Pasadena this year. Friday night, we were out on the balcony at an after hours party and heard tons of sirens and helicopters. Yep - it was another incident of violence up on Mentor Ave which I’m sure you’re all well aware of now.

As aforementioned, more on that later. But right now - I’m switching over to baseball because the Philadelphia Phillies - for the first time since 1993 when I was in fucking 6th grade - are the NL East Champions and are going to the baseball postseason!

In one of the greatest collapses since..well, the Phillies of 1964, the Mets blew a 7 game lead this year and the Phillies showed some awesome heart and won the division.

More on their playoff adventures as they develop.

Go Fightin’ Phils. LOL @ The Mets (and the Dodgers too LOL). Stand & Deliver. And thanks for welcoming me back

BONUS: Remember the official theme song of the `93 National League champion Fightin’ Phils? If not - this YouTube video may refresh your memory. Let’s revive it for oh-sev. Whoomp. There It Is.

The Phillies Celebrating Their NL East Win This Year - Yeah, That’s Alcohol Not Avocados.  Sorry Dodger Fans. 
- AP

1. Check out the Top Ten List archive.
2. Re-live my days as a pro-wrestling manager from a PCW show I helped promote back in 2003 - I’m at the end of this match in this video. Go to about 6 minutes and look to your left.  This was when I was playing a villain, managing a wrestler named The Messiah.
3. Check out the Sid Tyler Facts archive.
4. Check out the latest Videos on my YouTube page.
5. Listen to Radio Free Proctor.
6. Learn more about your leaders.
7. Read my latest rant.
8. Have a cheesesteak at Fredo’s Phillys.
9. Revisit the debut of Kelli’s Korner.
10. Didn’t have a Favorite Person Of The Week this week - so read about my past faves.
11. Get How To Tips…
12. Playoffs? Playoffs?!
13. See how your favorite Councildude or Councilchick is doing in the FCCL.
14. Re-live last summer’s Blogger Death Match.
15. Read a good book or two.
16. Eat at Robin’s!
17. Plant a tree.

And most importantly?

Like a good James Garner fan, Support your local bloggers:

• Dormitas.
• Foothill Cities.
• West Coast Grrlie Blather.
• Eye Level Pasadena.
• Under The Dome.

And plenty more which can be found in the blog links at the bottom of this site.

Stand & Deliver and have a safe rest-of-the-week and weekend.

- AP

Dear Typical Pasadena,

Hi there. I know we don’t talk much, since I’m from Real Pasadena. I know we haven’t had the best of experiences in the past, either. Would you mind taking a moment from sipping on your $20.00 latte at a coffee klatch on South Lake to listen up?

Thanks.

There’s a lot of crazy shit going on. You might not know it. But whether you live on the corner of Lincoln & Idaho or in the safe confines of the land of Sid Tyler, there’s stuff going on in your backyard. You read about it in the paper every day. You pat City Council on the back for doing a “good job” when they’re really just sitting around talking. I can sit around and talk and I’m not even an elected official.

No, your $4 million home nor your $80,000 car are in danger. The future of the Crown City is, though. But you don’t seem to care. Is it because it hasn’t spilled into “your” community yet? I’m sorry, but if something happens in Pasadena, it affects all of us. Rich, poor, black, white, none of that matters. I’d like to think of us as “one” City with “one” goal but you know there’s not a hint of truth to that.

I’m sick of you saying you take pride in “your” community when you only care about a large section of it. I feel like you think that certain parts of the city “don’t count”. If you really take pride in your community, you’d be just as appalled as I am when you open the newspaper or open a news website and read another young person in our community - the fucking FUTURE of our community - met a demise due to some stupid gang bullshit.

You’d be up in arms the second something affected your pretty little house with your pretty little wife and your pretty little picket fence. You’d be up in arms if something took away your precious Rose Parade or interfered with your Bentley dealership. You’d be up in arms if someone on your block, in your “neighborhood association”, wanted to paint their house pink.

But what’s another dead kid in a district, a neighborhood, a part of the lifeblood of the City you pretend doesn’t even exist to you? Nothing, right?

Wrong.

You do a real good job pretending to be a respectable section of humankind.

Well, a lot of us are starting to see right through that.

I’d be just as angry if stock brokers were getting culled left and right.

I’m just saying…it’s getting harder to hide behind that veil for you guys.

I don’t blame you for what’s going on - I just think that more would be done to prevent things like this if more people cared. And someone who cares and just happens to have a lot of money - well, it seems to go far when you want to save a bunch of Christmas trees or build a dog park….

I’m just sayin’….. Never mind. You’re window shopping for the newest en vogue 1960’s-esque transparent furniture for your $25,000/month condo that was just recently built over some affordable housing.
Thanks for not listening. I’ll be sure to be “right there” the next time someone wants to get rid of some limo-liberal piece of shit modern art.

I’m going to go build a strip club in your district now. Two levels. A massage parlor up top and a full-nude strip club with free blowjobs on the bottom. Where’s my $5 mil?
Sincerely,

Aaron Proctor

Another youth murdered in Pasadena.  Read about it here.

- AP

As I’ve mentioned, my company is having their annual meeting and I’ll be away from the blog for the rest of the week and weekend.  I’m sure I’m going to miss some major news story or even something small to lampoon.

Without further adieu…

From the home office in Upper Darby, PA

TOP TEN NEWS HEADLINES I’M GOING TO MISS OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS

10. “Victor Gordo 63, Georgia Tech 7″

9. “53% Of Pasadenans Uncomfortable Using The Word ‘Moist’”

8. “21.2% Of Statistics Made Up On The Spot”
7. “Larry Wilson Convicted Of 3rd Degree Elitism”

6. “Colorado Blvd. Shut Down Due To Missing iPod Nano”
5. “School Board Does Or Doesn’t Do Something, People Angry”
4. “Bogaard To City: Drop Dead”
3. “Denva Lanes To Enter Float In Rose Parade”
2. “Margaret McAustin To Open Pasadena’s First Massage Parlor & Bible Study”
1. “Youth Violence Ad Hoc Committee Out Of Coffee Creamer”
- AP

Around North Pasadena and Altadena, I’ve recently been seeing these signs pop-up in people’s yards talking about boycotting Turkish Products. If you know your world history, you know why you’re seeing these signs in heavily Armenian parts of both Denas. Although the boycott seems to be about 90 years late.
The signs have a link to this website.

Looks like the site is mostly under construction, though.

Besides occasionally smoking Camel cigarettes - which I don’t think are made in Turkey - I have no idea what Turkey products I use. Not that I’m Armenian, any way.
And if you were heavily passionate about this ordeal, wouldn’t you already not be using things made in Turkey?

If you’re going to boycott something - shouldn’t you at least boycott something most people buy so you can have an effect on whatever-you’re-trying-to-prove? That’s like if someone from Luxembourg was mean to my family and I boycotted all Luxembourgian products.

So much for me going on location for filming of my re-make of Midnight Express along with Todd Ruiz and Andre Coleman.

UPDATE: Peter Murphy lives in Turkey. Fuck if I’m gonna stop listening to him.

UPDATE 2:  (From the PSN) If you’d like to learn more about Armenia, the country will be the topic of Patricia LaCroix’s presentation for the next installment in the Traveler’s & Collectors series, at 7:30 p.m. Oct. 12 in the Sierra Madre City Hall council chambers, 232 W. Sierra Madre Blvd.

Admission is free.

For more information, call (626) 355-7186.

- AP

From The P?asde#na Now?:

The Pasadena City Council adopted energy efficiency, demand reduction and solar energy goals Monday pursuant to the United Nations Urban Environmental Accords it adopted last year.

Read the full article here.

PWP Assistant GM, Col. Erik Klinkner

$2.80 a month.  Well, that’s about a gallon of gas currently.  I guess it’s not so bad..and it’s good for the enivronment and all that jazz.

I just wanted an excuse to make a Hogan’s Heroes reference.

Booooooooooogaard!  30 Days In The Cooler!

- AP

Sid Tyler once broke Percy Clark’s spine

• Did I ever tell you about the time Sid Tyler took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally Sid Tyler takes me to a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ We sat there for a year and a half — until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Sid Tyler yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found ‘em!’
• We once had a bachelor party for Sid Tyler.  He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
• 182,000 Americans die from Sid Tyler-related accidents every year.
• In the medical community, death is referred to as “Sid Tyler Disease”.
• We live in an expanding universe.  All of it is trying to get away from Sid Tyler.
• Sid Tyler is not Politically Correct.   He is just Correct.  Always.
• Sid Tyler once had sex with a cigarette machine in the Osaka airport.
• Sid Tyler actually built the Stairway To Heaven.

- AP

Did you know crime is down but up at the same time in the Dena?

That’s what Pasade?a Now and the Full Blooded Italians are reporting:

The number of violent crimes that occurred in Pasadena during 2006 is significantly lower than the previous year, according to the FBI’s annual crime statistics released Monday in Washington D.C.

Read the full article here.

So, calm down people.  I mean - wouldn’t you rather get raped than murdered?

You’d better be pickin’ up my sarcasm.

- AP

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