Not having Internet access for nearly a week totally sucks horse penis. Especially when I was going to return to my lampooning of Pasadena City Council meetings et al. A big thank you goes to Kelly over at West Coast Grrlie Blather for letting you all know that my computer access is limited at the moment due to a computer problem, most likely caused by a power outage I had sometime on Sunday during the “rain storm”. I happened to be in Hollywood filming stuff for this website with Kelli and then proceeded to hang out in Orange County all day when this occured - so maybe it’s punishment for going to my former stomping grounds (the former) and behind the Orange Curtain.

I’m on a friend’s computer right now which really isn’t technologically advanced - so I can’t do this entry with my famous boldface type of people’s names, links to obscure references, and pictures. I haven’t even been able to check e-mails at my personal address in a few days - but I promise I will get to them soon. Please forgive me. I hope to be “back full time” in Blogadena quite soon. Oh - and thanks to those of you for the phone calls - I know that, in recent times, when I go off the radar for a few days, it usually means something bad happened like losing a job or having to move to St. Louis. I assure you, aside from the lack of Interwebs, everything is hunky dorky. And, no, I’m not siding with the Writer’s Guild of America.

The thing that sucks the most is there’s tons of stuff to talk about right now - locally and nationally. I don’t really cover national politics too much here - I mean, there’s so many other places you can read people’s opinions on that stuff - but I found myself glued to the television during the Iowa Caucus and the New Hampshire Primaries. It’s definitely an unpredictable time for national politics at the moment.

And look at the wackiness we’ve got going on locally - well, it is “Doo Dah Parade” season - Wayne “Pasadena Pundit” Lusvardi turned down the accolades of the coveted Thorny Rose award because we all apparently think he’s the devil or the antichrist - this from a guy who once compared me to a Roman argur…maybe we should re-name the Pasadena Pundit another p-word that rhymes with “Wussy”.  Well, maybe not totally - Mr. Lusvardi did give me some props on my “Measure D For Dumbass” article:

 

the Proctorologist hits the nail on the head.     Also see http://www.crgovernment.net/   Best   WL

Oh yeah - some guy in Tujunga murders some people and then jumps off Suicide Bridge to his death (leading me to want to re-name the bridge Murder-Suicide Bridge)….

Paul Little sort of tells it like it is in the Pasadena Weekly….and the remaining living cast of “Misfits of Science” did a beer run at the Ralph’s on Lake & Walnut. Ok, not so much about the last one.

Having all of this “time away from the Internet”, I have been glued to cable news, have actually been *purchasing* the Star-News (that’s 50 cents I could be giving to Sally Struthers for Twinkies) and reading the hard copies of the Weekly and the Hizpokins Journalizzy. I’ve also caught up with some reading - particularly an awesome “Legends of Pro-Wrestling” book that Robin Salzer, friend and owner of the best restaurant in the world, got me for Christmas. I finished watching the entire third season of “The Office” and am hoping to wrap my eyes around “Blade Runner: The Final Cut” ASAP.

I also have a running bet with my girlfriend that if Hillary Clinton is elected President, I’m turning Republican. But the cool kind of Republican - you know - small government and not annoying people’s personal freedoms. No religious right for me. I’m serious. Watch out Gene Masuda and the PRC.

With all of that said - I hope everyone is enjoying the New Year so far. I’ll be back with a vengeance (not really) soon. And, yes, I am going insane with “blogging withdrawl”. Luckily, there’s this odd combination of things I’ve discovered called “pen and paper”..it’s really magical and led me to write a sort of amusing Top Ten List:

TOP TEN TIP-OFFS YOU WON’T BE CHOSEN FOR PASADENA CITY MANAGER

10. Even Bill Paparian thinks you’re odd.

9. You’re the guy who played Boner on “Growing Pains”.

8. You can drink Cynthia Kurtz under the table.

7. Your biggest claim-to-fame is 6,000,000 points on SimCity.

6. Your resume is written on a Carl’s Jr. napkin.

5. You are a former federal prosecutor.

4. Carl Kozlowski is one of your personal references.

3. Your first order of business, if chosen, is to rename Old Town Pasadena “Bitchin’ Sweet Shoppin’ Place”

2. You’re the dude who wrote that “You Won’t Get A Lemon” radio commercial.

1. Barney Melekian has personally arrested you seven times.

Stand & deliver.

- AP