The Proc is back once again to please the millions (and millions..) of The Proc’s fans.  Yeah, I’m still working on getting those comments unmoderated.  It will happen later than sooner - so - if you really have something to say, just drop me a line at teamproctor@proctorformayor.com.  All e-mails are answered ASAP.

Driving around the City on Sunday, looking for affordable apartments and guest houses, I found myself criss-crossing through the beautiful neighborhoods and districts and areas that make Pasadena the best City in the whole fucking world. 

If This Bungalow Is A Rockin’, Don’t Come A Knockin’ (Between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m.) 

If you’ve never driven around the Crown City before, you might not notice we have a lot of things called Landmark Districts here in Pasadena.  According to the People’s Republic website, people become part of a Landmark District by having residents petition the City for a designation.  The Historic Preservation Commission, Planning Commission, and Sid Tyler’s Commission Of Council & Ass Kickings then hold public meetings and it’s up to City Council to decide if you become one or not. 

If your neighborhood has one of these signs, chances are you’re not in a Landmark District

Some examples of Landmark Districts include Bungalow Heaven, Garfield Heights, and Banbury Oaks.   There were a few others you may not hear about on a daily basis that I passed through this weekend.

From the home office in The Historic Highlands…

TOP TEN LEAST POPULAR PASADENA LANDMARK DISTRICTS

10.  Chlamydia Heights (a/k/a East Colorado & Michillinda)

9.  Really-Old & Grizzled-Town Pasadena

8.  Piasecki Plaza

7.  Playa Del Rancho Santa El Camino

6.  Landmark THIS!

5.  Olde English Hills

4.  Haystacks Calhoun Ranch

3.  Miss Havisham’s Block Party

2.  Poopyland Underwear (this one was sent in by Johnny McShankleby, Age 5, North Pasadena Heights.  Johnny you get a Spongebob t-shirt and a video of “The Best Of Aaron Proctor”)

1.  Arroyo Gordo 

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Eliot Spitzer:  We Need A Man Like You In Pasadena

Is it just me or has Under The Dome become quite a bore lately?  Maybe Larry Wilson’s sedative-like personality is rubbing off or maybe new Under The Dome contributor, Fred Ortega, has big shoes to fill?  (And you know what that means when your predecessor has big shoes:  big shoelaces). 

Suffice to say, there isn’t really anything exciting going on in Proctordena.  The fake City Manager search continues and that’s really about it.  Can’t a Spitzer-esque scandal come our way?  That would be awesome.  Maybe we could send some hookers over to Steve Madison’s house and film it for YouTube? 

Then again, that wouldn’t happen.  You ever notice it’s always the people we least suspect who end up having the biggest scandals?  I’m sure you’d be real surprised if someone came out and said I did something crazy involving alcohol, a City Council meeting, Packwood style groping, and a City Clerk. 

If we ever get a cool scandal here in Pasadena, it’s going to be from someone we least expect - something like Iron Maggie likes to pistolwhip the elderly or Chris Holden ran through Descanso Gardens, wearing only a wifebeater and boxers, singing “Holding Out For A Hero” by Bonnie Tyler.

Ah well.  If nobody else is going to great controversy, you just have to do it yourself.

Go Villanova Wildcats.

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Anyone know where I can get a jacket like this?

Stay Gold, Pony Boy.

- AP