Mayweather had to use brass knucks to beat The Big Show last night

Kelli and I took part in one of our yearly traditions last night as we watched WWE Wrestlemania 24.  Can’t believe they’re already up to 24 - and it was good to see 75,000 peeps or so pack the Citrus Bowl in Florida.

Just a few quick notes:

  • Mayweather and Big Show was pretty fun and entertaining, no matter what the rasslin’ fans on the Interwebs say.  If boxing doesn’t work out much longer for Floyd, he’ll have a bona fide role in the WWE as an arrogant heel (or “bad guy” in wrestlingspeak).  Still mad about him using brass knuckles to win - and yeah, yeah, I know it’s scripted.
  • Someone should have told Jim Ross that Mayweather’s win won’t count toward his 39-0 boxing record - before he started screaming “Mayweather is 40 and 0!”
  • What kind of crack are the WWE writers smoking that they still think fans like John Cena?  The only people who cheer for him are eleventeens and ugly girls who dress like Jeff Hardy.  Turn him heel and reap the rewards.  I had this same resentment toward “say your prayers, eat your vitamins” Hulk Hogan in the mid-90’s - and his 1996 turn to villain was nothing short of revolutionary.  I’m glad Cena lost, too.
  • Money In The Bank was all right - but Kennedy should have won.  Kennedyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!  He’s my favorite wrestler these days.
  • Wasn’t it super sad when - right before HBK super-kicked Ric Flair into retirement - HBK and Flair started crying and HBK mouthed “I’m sorry..I love you” to the Nature Boy?
  • WWE runs like 489032840932890342 pay-per-views a year and still charges $60 for Wrestlemania?  What gives??
  • Undertaker is 16-0 at Wrestlemania.  I don’t think he’ll ever lose.
  • WWE’s only national competition, TNA, should have run a “Clash Of The Champions“-esque free show against Wrestlemania.  That way, I would have had something else to watch during the crapfest that was Batista vs Umaga.

**

 

Sexy Steve

Next up in the Aaron Proctor Interview Series is none other than District 4 Councilman and Pasadena’s resident GQ hunk, Steve Haderlein.  Steve’s been the Councilman in District 4 since like 1972 or something.  When he’s not sexing it up on Monday nights at City Hall, he’s a civics/economics teacher.  He also is an encyclopedia of sports and historical knowledge - and he played college basketball for Loyola Marymount and spend some time in a pro league in Australia.  True story.

The Proc pelted Cracker Jacks at Steve this weekend while he was coaching girls’ softball until he caved in and answered The Proc’s many important questions.  He is not aware of any of the girls he coaches taking HGH.

The Proc:  Can you dunk? Hook shot?

Haderlein:  More of pure jump shooter than hook shot.  Haven’t tried to dunk in a year so I’ll assume that I still can rather than hurt myself finding out otherwise.

The Proc:  How much can you bench?

Haderlein:  No clue and don’t want to crush my sternum finding out. 

The Proc:  What do you think of Steve Madison?  He shares your first name and that’s about it.

Haderlein:  We also share a commitment to the City. 

The Proc:   Does Bill Paparian follow you from a few cars behind when you go to the
supermarket?

Haderlein:  No idea what Bill’s up to. 

The Proc:  You played basketball in an Australian pro league in the late 80’s.  Did
you rock out to INXS at halftime?

Haderlein:  More of a Midnight Oil guy.  Even then, a concern for open spaces / environment / loud music.   Lead singer was a quirky tall bald guy.   Think Bono with a different accent and no hair.  

The Proc:   Is Michael Vick allowed at Vina Vieja Park?

Haderlein:  Only to have dogs pee on him.  What a piece of dog crap that guy is. 

The Proc:  You teach Economics.  Explain the Walrasian Model to us dumbasses. 

Haderlein:  Walrasian Model?  No idea. 

The Proc:  Remember back in 1993 when Chris Webber called timeout in the NCAA Championship and University of Michigan didn’t have any time outs left?  Oh - and - what the hell ever happened to Eric Montross on that opposing UNC team?

Haderlein:  Remember C-Web’s blunder well.  Almost as bad as when the Georgetown player (Sleepy Floyd?) threw the pass to UNC’s James Worthy as time ran out.    I think Montross is a ski resort / mountain range somewhere.  He was huge.  

The Proc:  How come Christian Laettner played for like 26 different NBA teams?

Haderlein:  He still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.  

The Proc:  You’re the Vice Mayor.  What are some of your vices (besides ’sports and history’)?

Haderlein:  Ice cream after a Council meeting.  Gotta add five pounds to my weight. 

The Proc:  True or False:  I could beat you at ‘Horse‘.

Haderlein:  Five bucks says “False”. 

The Proc:  You’ve always been a huge fan of open space.  What if we tore down everything in District 4?  Wouldn’t we have a ton of open space then?

Haderlein:  Can’t argue with that.  

The Proc:  Are you a Federalist or an Anti-Federalist?

Haderlein:  Anti-Federalists are wussies.   Sound central bank is needed. Look at the mess we’re in now because of a lack of oversight (one of the three roles of the Fed I might add)  My main man Teddy Roosevelt would have wanted regulatory powers.  

So - it’s official:  I’m challenging Steve Haderlein to a game of Horse.  Steve, you pick the date and the time and I’ll bring the video camera for all of my fans to see. 

Somebody’s gonna owe me $5.

- AP