Take me to your heart
Feel me in your bones
Just one more night
And I’m comin’ off this
Long & winding road

I’m on my way
I’m on my way
Home sweet home
Tonight, tonight
I’m on my way
I’m on my way
Home sweet home

- Motley Crue, “Home Sweet Home”

Happy Tuesday that feels like a Monday (for me).

Kelli and I are all moved in to our brand new place. Man, what a difference three days makes. Is it just me or does District 4 have a lot of peaceful, quiet neighborhoods? Just another selling point on why it’s the best district in the City. Oh - and special thanks to my buddy, Jake Belcher, who finished building our computer desk.

A couple of things before I get to the usual rigmarole:

  • Comments are back. Yes, that’s right. You can now comment again. You will still have to wait until I moderate your comment but I’m not having problems unmoderating them. For the 2,000 or so legit comments I’ve received since January, well, I just deleted them. No offense, but I have shit to do - and going through 8,000+ spam & regular comments isn’t one of them. :-)
  • If you’re expecting prolific posting (as WCGB called it) from me, you’re not going to get it. Even though I’m back in full effect on the Interwebs, I’ve decided I’ll keep the new tradition going of one “A.M.” post - and maybe I’ll have a special, additional “P.M.” post once in a while.
  • Finally, e-mail. I may have mentioned this before but I dropped the “nuwaivaaron” AOL account. You can contact me at my teamproctor address. If you don’t know that account, hit up the “Contact” option at the top of this site.

Welcome Back, Kotter.

**

According to the Pasadena-Angel Soft News, the “geniuses” (using that term very loosely) over at the Dome were to consider a smoking ban last night.

We all know which Top Dog is Mr. Anti-Smoking and will probably be leading the way on this one. Just another example of Pasadena messing with people’s personal and legal freedoms. Of course, no one is going to get into a big uproar about this because second hand smoke apparently affects Californians more than it does anyone else in the nation.

Just when you thought it was safe not to call the guy a dick…

I’m a smoker, so I’m obviously biased. With that said, I’m very respectful of non-smokers. I won’t smoke outdoors say, at a bus stop or an ATM (two places they’re trying to ban smoking in Pasadena), if someone else is there and they aren’t smoking. I will move far away if I see a child walking down the street.

I’m also very passionate about the rights of human beings - especially rights made legal by the government. Seems like they’re saying it’s ok to buy cigarettes if you’re over 18, it’s ok to grow the products used to make cigarettes, but it’s not OK to smoke. Just ban the fucking things if you don’t like them so much.

One of the things the government should be doing is protecting us - you know, from terrorism and from other evildoers. One thing the government shouldn’t be doing is acting like they are our mom. “You know, this is bad for you, so we’re not going to let you do it.” That would be totally o.k. with me if it was my mom’s patio, not an MTA bus stop.

When will the line be crossed? When will the City of Pasadena start trying to regulate what we do indoors? Hey - if we’re banning smoking because it annoys people, let’s ban shit that annoys me. Those gas guzzling Hummers that I see everywhere - let’s not let them in Old Town. Let’s require everyone to drive Hybrids. Let’s tell those ugly bitches who wear those big Paris Hilton sunglasses to stop hanging out at the Paseo.

Gordo mentioned something last night about sending the wrong message to Sacramento about a separate, unrelated issue than I’m speaking about above - how about sending the wrong message to the rest of America? You know - the one that says: “Welcome To Pasadena. A Bunch Of Pussies Run This City. Don’t Smoke (And Good Luck Parking Overnight).”

Yeah, first it’s banning smoking and cutting the balls off of pit bulls - next it will be what websites you can and can’t go to.

Maybe that China float was a good idea, after all.  People’s Republic of Pasadena.

**

Speaking of last night’s Council meeting, I did catch some of it. It seemed like it went pretty long last night. I can’t even do the dais justice like my fellow blogger, Dormitas, does with his “blow by blows”. Here, though, is what I did pick up from last night:

  • People are really passionate about keeping the Ad Hoc Youth Violence committee going. People are always really passionate about wasting the City’s time and taxpayers’ money as well, I guess.
  • Von’s is selling Hot Pockets 4 for $11. How do I know this? I dropped $200 in groceries during the Council meeting.
  • The “M” in Victor M. Gordo stands for “Mariscos“.
  • The “F” in Sidney F. Tyler stands for “Fucking”.
  • How come Triple H had to fight twice last night? William Regal isn’t that great of a general manager.
  • Barney really looks like an all-pro up there on the dais. So what are we spending $30,000 on to look for someone else for? Oh, right, schadenfreude.
  • Holy Shit! I get CBS College Sports TV.
  • I didn’t see Jane Rodriguez. Missed out on her and the other Councilmembers missed out on her legs. I heard she’s retiring soon, too. Then again - who is this DeWolf chick from the Planning Commission? *wolf whistles*

**

If you think I’m channeling Jim Laris on the following rant, you’re right.

The Proc says moving this weekend was pretty fun.  It’s always nice to move into a place 50 times the size of the old place.  It’s also very nice to sleep in a bed and not a futon for the first time in like, 10 years.

It’s always an adventure when you move into a new place.  Going through old CD’s you haven’t listened to in years.  Finding pictures of your family you accidentally put in a box marked “hamdingers”.  Figuring out where the TV goes and claiming the left side of the sofa before your girlfriend does for maximum TV viewing is a plus.

You know what sucks, though?  Putting shit together.  I wonder to myself - Who makes these instruction manuals? Why did they label this one shelf “Part G” yet there isn’t a sticker or anything on the side of it saying what part it is? How come the estimated time it says to put together a small CD rack is “1 hour” but it took me, a guy with a 165 IQ, and a pretty smart girlfriend to boot, two people - about 3 hours?

And how come they always give you either too many screws or not enough parts?

I also hate those little tiny Allen wrenches they give you.  You know - the ones that are so tiny, you should have a 5 year old put your furniture together.

Apparently, the douchebags at Sauder - who make 99% of the furniture in my new place - don’t know the answers to the aforementioned questions, either.  At least they have a hotline you can call for extra parts - which is only open Monday through Friday when they damn well know most red-blooded Americans move on the weekend.  If you’re building an entertainment center at 3 o’clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday, chances are you’re a terrorist.  Or maybe you’re a Muir High School teacher from Arcadia.
So, I have a pile of wood in the foyer between the kitchen and the living room that is supposed to be a “multimedia rack”.  I’ve got to wait 4 to 5 business days for a new part - because the one shelf-end they gave me doesn’t have any holes or screws or anything in it.  If I never get that part, at least I can build a fort for the cats.
I guess you get what you pay for.

Join me here tomorrow when the Aaron Proctor Interview Series continues with Centinel of the Foothill Cities Blog.  (I know, I know, I promised that for today).

Burgers,

- AP