First of all, congrats to my Philadelphia Flyers. I didn’t want to jinx them but they finally knocked the Washington Capitals out of the playoffs the other night and now are going to be headed to the Eastern Conference Semifinals against a tough Montreal Canadiens team.

So, first of all, fuck Canada. USA all the way. If you are cheering for Montreal against Philadelphia, the land where liberty was born, The Proc says you might just be on a terror watch list, eh? Ne’ermind that half the players on the Flyers are probably Canadian.

No Stanley Cup, No World Series Trophy, No NBA Title, No Super Bowl Ring (ever) - since 1983! Let’s Go Flyers! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap. Let’s Go Flyers! Or - as at true Philadelphian like myself would say: Fuck em up Flyers, Fuck em up..clap-clap…
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I was checking out the Quilted Northern Star-News this morning and I found this gem:

PASADENA - Complete with tiger-striped pedestrian crossings, date palms and edgy stainless-steel street furniture, the first phase of Arroyo Parkway’s $7.1 million modernist makeover should be finished next month.

But don’t expect to see any street lights on the city’s southern gateway anytime soon.

The 200 much-maligned high-tech lights - memorably described by Councilman Victor Gordo as looking like “big bug-zappers” - were removed by City Council vote from the original design chosen in a 2001 nationwide design competition. And no replacements will show up any time soon.

“We wanted to go with the bug-zappers, but it’s a clean slate now,” said Leon White, the project planner for the city, who said the electrical infrastructure is in place for any future substitutes - assuming everyone can agree on a lighting design next time around.

The futuristic design by landscape architect James Corner, the principal at Field Operations in New York and Philadelphia, was chosen for the project by a committee that included renowned architect Frank Gehry and Art Center College of Design President Richard Koshalek, and was funded by a $40,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.

I was taking the 177 bus to work a lot until it just became unbearable to ride. Traffic is a halt on California Blvd. near the Arroyo Blvd. intersection. Taking the 181 has cut about 20 minutes off of my commute in the morning because of this annoying construction.

Your tax dollars at work, I guess. $7.1 million to fix up Arroyo Blvd., huh? Talk about a do-nothing City Council. What a huge fucking waste of time.

Why not take some of that money and build a community center in the Northwest? Then, when the community center is finished - put out a big sign in front that says “Free Guns and Drugs“. When people come inside, arrest them. There - gang violence and gang problems solved in one full swoop. Sock on gang members.
The $3 or 4 million you have left over could be used to buy out a person trying to open a strip club, building a golden statue of me next to those Jackie Robinson heads at City Hall, or buying a small minor league baseball team.

Also - Leon White is the planner of this project? You mean, this Leon White? It’s Vader time.

Well, at least the tiger-striped Ped Xing will make it more picturesque when I pass up the Arroyo Chop House, Dona Rosa, and other shitty restaurants on my way to buying a second bottle of wine for 5 cents at the BevMo. While supplies last.
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Miss Havisham of Miss Havisham’s Tea Party

In today’s chapter of the Aaron Proctor Interview Series, The Proc takes a time out from interviewing local politicians and reporters. To the Most Electrifying Man in Pasadena, local bloggers are a big part of the City knitting in their own right.

After the success of her organized blogger picnic & snark, Miss Havisham has been the talk of the town. The Proc found her hanging out at Madeline’s where she had to shake the married guys off with a stick. She had a few minutes to answer some tough questions.

The Proc: Your interview with Bernard Melekian was the catalyst for the inception of the Aaron Proctor Interview Series. So, first, thank you. Second, how does that make you feel?

Miss Havisham: Happy and tingly all over– you’re so good at it [interviews]. A suggestion: add in the word “survey” to the title so I can take APISS.

The Proc: Noted.. What do you do for fun?

Miss H: I like to perch all of my empty wine bottles in the iron gates of Satis House and knock them off into the recycle bin with my crossbow. Mad for archery!

The Proc: How’d you come up with the name Miss Havisham?

Miss H: It was given to me by some 19th Century hack writer, mystic, flaneur.

The Proc: Remember that one time I had too much wine at the Satis House?

Miss H: How did that happen?

The Proc: What year is your VW Bug?

Miss H: A sweet ‘’77

The Proc: Steve Madison or a hole in the ground?

Miss H: Since I’m currently in a hole in the ground that only leaves one other thing.

The Proc: Better drummer: Ginger Baker or Roger Taylor (of Queen)?

Miss H: I’ll have to go with Roger Baker of Libido Magazine.

The Proc: What’s up with married guys always wanting a piece of Miss H.?

Miss H: Bitter rejection attracts bitter rejection.

The Proc: Remember Jim Lomako?

Miss H: Where is he now?

The Proc: You should make another “Leave Jacque Alone” video.

Miss H: It surprises me that there aren’t more “Leave Jacque Alone” videos.

The Proc: When’s the next picnic?

Miss H: Apparently, they are happening all over the world.

The Proc: Who would win in a fight between you and West Coast Grrlie Blather?

Miss H: Who do you think would win in a fight between Miss Havisham and West Coast Grrlie Blather? More wine! She really knows how to blog write. A skill that is different from other genres.

The Proc: I think Centinel is Marc Singer from “V”.

Miss H: He has a black belt in kung fu.

The Proc: Any more serious interviews lined up?

Miss H: Yes, I am planning a trip to London to interview Dame Edna.

Thanks, Miss Havisham. You’re always a barrel of fun!

I also think the next blogger get together should be an evening thing at a bar. I’d say the 1881 or the 35er, but to make it fair to those from Monrovia and beyond, maybe we could meet at the First Cabin in Arcadia. I’ve never been there myself but I’m intrigued by a bar which opens at 6 in the morning.

Tomorrow, I’ve got Fred Ortega (1x Ham & Egger Award Winner) and Monday, I’ve got District 1 Councilmember Jacque Robinson. Oh what fun!

Remember, tomorrow (and every Friday) is Hawaiian Shirt day:


Be seeing you,

- AP