Because it’s just plain fun picking on South Pasadena (and messing with their Wikipedia article isn’t enough), Kelli and I drove down there yesterday and I had some fun - or as much fun as one can have in South Pasadena. Check out the video here. Can’t hide that Pasadena pride.

**

Dormitas has an excellent blow-by-blow account of Monday’s joint City Council & PUSD School Board gladhanding meeting. According to Dormitas, it was very much unlike an actual meeting and not quite unlike a circle jerk.

Our leaders have now had two, count them, two meetings in a row that are wastes of taxpayers’ time and money. They should all give back their monthly stipends after that game of grab-ass they had on Monday.

By simply reading a blow-by-blow and not even seeing one second of video footage of the meeting, I can tell you what happened. PUSD and City Council kissed each other’s asses so much that all of the Walgreen’s in a 5 square mile radius are still sold out of Chap Stick. People asked for money that don’t deserve it. Someone (this time it was Interim CM Barney Melekian) tried to mention we should be talking about other things and nobody else listened.

I know I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: Stop fucking giving PUSD money. Just stop. Just fucking stop.

Let’s put it in perspective. Say you were performing poorly at your job. Your yearly review came up and your boss said “Listen, you, you’re not performing well enough to get a raise. I am not going to fire you but you’re not getting that raise until you become more productive and more reliable.”

Well, that’s what we should do with PUSD. Just cut off everything. Any money they ask for, just say “Fuck you, get better grades.” Money for a fair that will just raise money so the teachers can spend it at Target on “school supplies” (since when was “The Best of Robbie Williams” a school supply?): “Fuck you, start performing like a school should.” Besides, aren’t they trying to get $15,000 from a failed school? That’s new textbooks right there, idiots.

The people who really care will work hard to get that money and they’ll get it when they can prove they’re not failing us as an entity. Give a man a fish, he’ll expect the government to do everything for him (and then cry “racism” when they stop doing so).
And if they don’t improve, just give them up to the state like a 16 year old girl would do with the lovechild she had with the quarterback of the JV football team. Put PUSD up for adoption. Except, PUSD is that really ugly red-haired kid with freckles that you can totally tell looks like the kid from “Problem Child” and you don’t want burning down your house. San Marino’s retarded little sister.

They always say “Money doesn’t buy happiness”. Save me money in taxes and watch me smile.

**

A quick shout out to the Foothill Cities blog. A debate between two commenters (Firefox says that isn’t a word) is rapidly approaching. The subject? Prop 98 vs. Prop 99. The battle between the intelligent people who support Prop 98 and the people who want to ruin our neighborhoods that support Prop 99.

**

Brian Fuller Doesn’t Look Like He’s About To Shoot Stacks Edwards

As I discussed the other day, Brian Fuller is running for the 44th district in the State Assembly against long-time Assembly Don, Anthony “Fat Tony” Portantino.

Since the election is coming up (June 3rd), The Proc decided to sit down with Brian Fuller (who refuses to let me call him “Bri-Bri”) and ask him some important questions. Hopefully this will not only lead to a) more votes but b) a way for you to get to know him, since the biased local media doesn’t give a shit about him since he’s, ya know, a Republican. The Aaron Proctor Interview Series continues!
The Proc: Who the heck are you?

Brian Fuller: I am a local citizen who is tired of the same old song in Sacramento. I am a 30 year old who is a 7th generation Californian born in Pasadena who wants to see this beloved state pull out of its nosedive. I have lived in Altadena just about all those 30 years save for college years at USC. Before USC, I was a Spartan at La Cañada High School where I excelled in history and geography; lettering in varsity swimming. I have moved beyond school and find myself working as a computer consultant. For five years I worked as a computer consultant to many in the music and fashion industries. Then I went walkabout last year. Alaska beckoned. I drove to Alaska and from there I drove to Key West, Florida and finally a jaunt up to Newfoundland. Upon my return, I started my own IT consulting company, Fuller Concepts. When I am not campaigning or working on a computer, I can be found hiking the foothills of Altadena. If not there, I may be searching for the best empanada or cheesesteak to enjoy.

The Proc: What changes would you bring to the 44th?

Brian: I believe the 44th District like many districts in California is gerrymandered. It is a crime against democracy. The people must choose their representation not the other way around. As I am the proverbial underdog, I want to get the word out to all in this election that the people must vote for reform on this key matter.

Brian (cont’d): The budget battle is a drama every summer. More often than not, we hear that the state is billions of dollars in the red. We get the usual suspects telling us it will cut education, police and fire. We also hear that taxes will go up and fees. Enough with scare tactics. We saw that at the PUSD event in March where Scott, Portantino and Liu were giving propaganda speeches. Enough bull. There are no cuts in education if revenues have grown. What they want is to not have cuts in their “expected” growth.

Brian (cont’d): You want changes brought to 44th? How about truth. How about Portantino telling us the reason we are dealing with a budget fiasco is because they
did not realize that the housing boom was coming to an end. That we live in a business cycle and booms and busts are a natural circumstance. That we are beholden to public employees who are bleeding us dry with their lavish benefits and pensions that many of us in the private sector would love to enjoy but instead are paying for. That we spend too much money and now we are spending our children’s future by issuing costly bonds. What will I bring to 44th district? Fiscal responsibility. Accountability. The buck stops here mentality.

Brian (cont’d): Now if we could get our state to be fiscally sound, we could invest in infrastructure that this state sorely needs. How many of you have seen the quality of our freeways go down? Anybody been to Vegas? The roads in Nevada are smooth, aren’t they? What we have is one step above a plank road. The envy of America has become the joke. The 210 freeway’s carpool lanes are slated to become toll lanes. What do we get for it? We don’t get add’l lanes but instead more congestion and a price for it. I support efforts to modernize freeways. Reversible lanes like those in San Diego. A double-decker like that of the 110 Harbor Freeway. Encouraging commercial cargo to go onto rail and off our congested freeways. Private construction of add’l lanes.

Brian (cont’d): Finally, we need to modernize the welfare state. We must not encourage it but reduce it. Immigration must contribute to society not become a burden. The government must be a place of last resort. Reform is needed more than ever and the 44th District will benefit from a much more responsive, responsible, streamlined government in Sacramento. Time to go on a diet, fellas!

The Proc: Isn’t everybody kind of sick of Anthony Portantino?

Brian: I bet you that the vast majority of people don’t even know who Anthony Portantino is. Many more don’t know who I am. What they know is that Sacramento is being run by crooks who are serving their masters rather than the people. They are sick of having our government tell us what to eat, how to drive, and where to live and then on top of that tell us we aren’t paying enough. Perhaps they can do us all a favor and fix themselves before telling us what to do. Perhaps they can spend no more money than they receive. Perhaps they can decide to cut some of the fat that has grown around their midsection and ask themselves if we need to spend money on all these “boxes”. Arnold you have yet to blow them up. I am amazed at the creativity energy our legislature comes up with for new taxes. Taxes on services. Raise fees. Taxes on beer, porno and other sin taxes. How about being creative with how you spend it. Mr. Portantino is our representative of that cabal running Sacramento. It’s time we send a message to Sacramento that we will no longer be under your yoke. Mr. Portantino, we need you to represent us, otherwise leave.

The Proc: Who was the cooler member of the A-Team: Face or Murdoch?

Brian: Face may be deemed cooler by many as he had the charm and debonnaire of a con man that he was. I think Murdoch was cooler for his characterizations and his unorthodox demeanor. He did it his way. To be unorthodox and a rebel is much cooler to me.

The Proc: What should I tell people who say I “sold out” when I became a Republican? Besides “go fuck yourself”?

Brian: Go f**k yourself is quick off the line and cuts through the pleasantries quite well. If profanity is much to bear, then just smile and say, “do I frighten you?” Seriously, you have to be gracious and explain your true convictions. People who say you are a sell out hold onto ill-conceived notions about Republicans. Truth and honest actions on your part will show them the error of their ways.

The Proc: Remember that time you and Anthony Portantino were playing cards and that guy, Spider, messed up his drink order so he told Spider to dance while he shot at his feet? Oh wait, that was Joe Pesci in “Goodfellas”.

Brian: I must admit I never saw Goodfellas from start to finish. I hear its a good flick. I did see Casino and Joe Pesci did a memorable job. Keep your head away from vices.

The Proc: I think your campaign song should be “Baby Got Back” by Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

Brian: Yeah, that’s me alright. I can just imagine the reaction. It would be a heck of a lot better than “Don’t Stop” by Fleetwood Mac. The Clinton campaign of ‘92 ruined that tune. You can’t listen to it without thinking of them. It is truly sad to see a song lose its marketing appeal. I think that “I’ve Been Everywhere”, “Spokane Motel Blues” and “King of the Road” would have summed up my road trip to Alaska, Key West and Newfoundland last year.

Can we put this sign up in Pasadena?! (From Brian Fuller’s Travel Site)

The Proc: What do you think of this smoking ban in Pasadena?

Brian: It’s fascist, big brother, Orwellian b.s. I don’t smoke but I also don’t drink. So should we also ban alcohol? Oh wait, we did that in this country and we got ourselves Al Capone and 60 years later Kevin Costner playing Eliot Ness. I may not smoke but I will defend your right to do so (with apologies to Voltaire on paraphrasing his line, “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”)

The Proc: How come anybody who wants to crackdown on illegal immigration is automatically labeled a “racist”?

Brian: It is an emotional millstone to hang around one’s opponent. I believe the term is called “ad hominem”. It could even be in some way a subconscious act of projection. They may be in self-denial of who they are. I wonder about that when there are proponents that have an ethnocentric nature like MeChA and La Raza. Hmmm. I have yet to hear a compelling argument that illegal immigration is a positive that must be left unchallenged.

The Proc: Can’t they make a better, tastier salad at the next PRC dinner?

Brian: Did the University Club do you wrong? I apologize I wasn’t there for I was in Florida to watch the Los Angeles Dodgers play their last spring training game in Vero Beach.

The Proc: You went to USC. Doesn’t that make you a genius?

Brian: Fight on! I earned a business degree and a minor in music industry. I do think you have to be at least a 4.0 genius to be admitted to USC and UCLA these days. Man is it competitive. I do wish to thank UCLA for continuing to be a worthy rival. It is a rivalry that enriches both institutions. I just wish we could have such a worthy rivalry in our own gerrymandered districts here in California.

JPL or Area 51? (From Brian Fuller’s Travel Site)

The Proc: Waffles or pancakes?

Brian: How about french toast! Pancakes are a slight favorite but I do enjoy Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.

The Proc: You’re a member of the Altadena Historical Society. Can you make the house PW Reporter Andre Coleman grew up in a historical landmark?

Brian: My apologies for I am not fully aware of Andre Coleman’s childhood moments. There is without a doubt many structures in Altadena that are worthy of historical preservation. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if we still had red cars running down Lake and Colorado. Now that was a public transit we may regret missing.

The Proc: What’s the difference between a Methodist and a Calvinist?

Brian: The view of predestination is the primary difference.

The Proc: Don’t you hate when your girlfriend gets some really fruity shampoo and throws away your shampoo so you have to use Garnier Fructis every morning?

Brian: Yeah and everyone asks you why you smell like a Jamba Juice smoothie.

(The Proc’s note: I smell like a Jamba Juice that also sells loose Menthol cigarettes & Gillette after shave every morning)

The Proc: Any good at darts?

Brian: I try. I did play a weekend ago but the darts took quite a beating.

The Proc: What can you name after me when you win?

Brian: If I am honored to represent the 44th district, I would be open to any requests. Well I can’t name anything of a public nature by fiat as I would need the consent of others. Mountains are a choice often overlooked for freeways instead. Mt. Wilson. Mt. Lowe. How about Mt. Proctor? If mountains aren’t your cup of tea, we can always rename one of the numerous public buildings named after current, living politicians.

(The Proc’s note: Plenty of ladies would enjoy Mt. Proctor)

The Proc: What do you think of Pasadena Councilmember Steve Madison?

Brian: I can see you don’t care much for him. From what I have gathered, he appears to be out of touch. I can only tell you that we have our own kind of Steve Madison on the Altadena Town Council. But I guess they are everywhere.

The Proc: Catchier Disney tune: “Chim Chim Cheree” or “Under The Sea“?

Brian: Those are my choices? Oh boy! At least you didn’t ask me to pick a tune from Julie Andrew’s “Victor/Victoria“. That movie blew chunks. Okay, I am stuck
on this deserted island and I have to pick one then I would rather go with Mary Poppins than a singing crab.

The Proc: If you let me endorse you, I’ll let you make me a sandwich.

Brian: Do you want it with wiz, provolone, American or as John Kerry has it, Swiss?

The Proc: Where can The Proc’s fans go to get more information about you and your campaign?

Brian: My website is here. My apologies for at the moment the website is going through renovation. If you want to check out photos of last year’s trip to Alaska, Key West and Newfoundland you may go to this link.

**
That dude has my vote. Great job and I hope you all learned a little bit more about the way things work around here.

Tomorrow: Former PUSD Board Member Bill Bibbiani drops by in the Series.

Where the hell is Martin Truitt?

- AP