Hey, Larry Wilson! The California Supreme Court has overturned the gay marriage ban!

Good on them, too. I’m not against gay marriage in the slightest bit. If you’re a true Republican, you believe in the government staying out of your personal freedoms. Somehow the Christian Right fucked up the party, just like the hippie left fucked up the Democrats. Read “Leave Us Alone” by Grover Norquist if you don’t believe me.

The government shouldn’t be able to tell you who you can marry or what you can do that makes you happy and doesn’t harm others. If two dudes or two chicks (the latter being super hot) want to get married, fine by me. It’s not going to hurt my wallet like it does when another illegal comes over the border expecting (and getting) a hand out from the People’s Republic of California. Or when some piece of trash abuses the welfare system and just sits on their ass all day eating Cheetos and watching Jerry Springer. Hope you’re enjoying that flat-screen TV I got you.

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The other day I saw this ad on the bus. It’s the wicked witch from “Wicked” reading the newspaper while the MTA boasts its easy-to-get-to-the-Pantages schedule.

The funny thing is what’s in the newspaper she’s reading. The fake paper, called “The Los Angeles Tribune” has a top headline of something to the effect of “MTA Voted Best Public Transportation System” and a chick that looks like the woman from the Pine Sol commercial kissing an old MTA driver.

If you look down at all the “small” stories on the paper (you’ll have to either see this poster in person or download the above image and zoom in..), you’ll clearly see a headline that says - I kid you not - “Chicago Blast Kills Twelve“. What kind of newspaper would have an MTA story as their top billing and “Chicago Blast Kills Twelve” in small print?! Wait, is the Los Angeles Tribune a new LANG paper?

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The Pasadena Weekly has an excellent story (I think it’s even written by a former Ham And Egger Award winner!) contemplating that parking tickets in Pasadena are being used to fill the pockets of the City. No shit? Wait - who has been saying that very same thing for almost the past two years? Oh that’s right, The Proc’s been saying those things for the past two years.

From people who illegally park in Old Town Pasadena to people who park on quiet City streets with our Draconian overnight parking laws, finally a respectable news source is acknowledging that the City might just be fucking us all in the ass over and over again. Oh - and that person writing you the ticket might not even be a City Official!

Those right-side driving jeeps are lame, too. We’re in America, not fucking England.

When I used to live in my old place over on North Hill Avenue, Kelli would park on the street every night without a permit. When would she get ticketed? Any weekend that was a holiday weekend, at first. Then she started noticing that the tickets coming more and more often - our street was being targeted for it’s “easy pickin’s”.

Is that how you enforce a law? Hold up - wait a minute - let me put some Proc in it. Let’s take out “parking enforcement” for a second and replace that word with “police patrols”. Say the police only patrolled and arrested people in the Northwest and nowhere else? The liberals would be having a fit.

But, no, these parking permits and parking tickets give “much needed money to a City that is parched for money”. My ass. Prove me wrong City Council: Pasadena could end it’s insane parking enforcement and calm down with it right now and Pasadena would still be one of the richest cities in the United States.

Maybe instead of paying these assclowns over at Intercon, we should be paying more police. Oh - but that’s right - the parking situation in Old Town Pasadena far outweighs anything going on anywhere else in the City.

It’s just Pasadena being Pasadena.

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My comments yesterday about Councilmember “Maserati” Madison have struck a chord in the blogging community already.

“Eddie” writes:

Steve Madison reeks of shear arrogance. He should either vacate his seat or a recall petition should be started. City council is supposed to be a “part-time” position though it really is more of a full-time committment and he can’t even honor that. PATHETIC. How can anyone of at least average intelligence even consider Madison as a possible viable mayoral contender. He may contend but he won’t give the time committment that is required. Bottom line is this, If he can’t make council meetings due to his workload how the hell is he ever going to put in the time required to be an effective Mayor. The Mayor of Pasadena is not a part-time job.

Hmmm. Well, Eddie, there used to be this guy around these parts named Martin Truitt. He was 7 feet tall, weighed 500 pounds, carried an ax, and had a giant blue ox named Babe. He once threatened Madison was a recall about something..I forget what..and Madison backed down and quelled his dickish ways for a bit.

Martin - please come back and deliver us from Madison!

I think it’s time we start the “Recall Madison” murmurs again. Seriously, I can’t stand the guy - so I’d be leading that parade down Colorado Blvd. If anyone wants to join my fight, let me know. I went to where anyone goes to find out deep political information (like how to start a recall) - ehow.com.

  • Submit the proper notifications. You’ll have to publish something saying you’re going to recall a city council member, have the notice served on the council member and give him a chance to respon

So - is it good enough that I published I want to recall Madison on this website? Do I just need to send him something in registered mail that says “Hey, you’re a douchebag and I want someone to replace you?”

  • Determine the length of time the city council member has been in office. Most states require at least 120 days of service if not 6 months or longer

Too long.

  • Explain why you want to recall the city council member. Many states have stated reasons a city council member can be recalled and your explanation must fit one of those categories.

Not serving his District, not serving his Community, being the Council pariah, lavender ties, etc.

  • Get the appropriate number of signatures. A recall will require a petition signed by a certain number of registered voters. Go door-to-door, start a website or phone campaign to get the number of signatures you need to recall a city council member.

Well, that just steams my clams. I’d have to go door-to-door in District 6. I’m not well-liked there. Montgomery Q. Sixfigures doesn’t read the blogsophere so they still think I’m some weirdo in eyeliner.

  • Use the allotted time wisely. You’ll only have a certain amount of time to collect signatures—usually 60 days or more—so use that time to your advantage to get the signatures you need.

Well, I can definitely do this. I’m going to need some help, though. So - should we recall Madison? I mean, the down side to him not being on Council would be the fact that I’d have nobody else to call a douchebag. “Margaret McAustin is a cunt” just doesn’t sound right (and isn’t true) to me.

The plus side is - no more Steve Madison on City Council. For the betterment of Pasadena.

Threats and ultimatums seem to work in politics a lot - so, Stevie, if you’re reading - I’ll give you 2 weeks to step down as a Councilmember. If you don’t step down in 2 weeks - that’s exactly 14 days from today - I’m going to get a recall petition rolling along.

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Here’s wishing you all a happy and safe weekend.

Be seeing you. Check out Edwin Decker’s new “Sordid Tales”.

- AP