Happy Birthday to my brother, Adam, who turns 26 today. Yeah, we’re the same age until July 11th. Since it’s my brother’s birthday, it also means it’s the 14th anniversary of the OJ Chase - a/k/a, the reason why people like Greta Van Susteren stay on television for as long as they do.

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Pasadena just got a little sexier for a whole week. While Bogaard is out of town, trying to liberate Finland from the Nazis (Ann Erdman is playing Maria von Trapp) - Sexy Steve Haderlein, the Vice Mayor of Pasadena, is in charge. Last night, he became the first ever elected official to intentionally run a City Council meeting topless. Steve seemed to be having a good time up there - occasionally joking around and publicly noting how every agenda item comes back to traffic.

They actually did bring up a couple of good points at last night’s meeting. The first was whether to decide if AT&T U-Verse should be allowed in Pasadena. Duh! Of course they should. I’m tired of dealing with one cable company, specifically Charter - whose high-speed Internet service seemed to crap out on me for absolutely no reason over the weekend. They also tried to fuck me over with overcharges on the first bill - something I quickly rectified but I’m sure it’s something they do to lots of people. You can’t just threaten to quit and leave - there’s really no other alternative here in Pasadena. And - ya know - nothing says Podunk like only having one cable company to choose from.

The second item of note was a frank discussion about Pasadena Water & Power’s soaring prices. Maggie Mags made an excellent point that we (and by we, I mean they) need to be more transparent when it comes to rate hikes. Sending a little postcard just isn’t enough. How come PWP can’t put notices on the bills a few months ahead like every other normal company does? To paraphrase Councilwoman McAustin, a lot of people in this City go along with Pasadena’s crazy ass taxes - and they shouldn’t be dicked around (although this is the same person who supported Measure D, I’m gonna have to give her props for making a great comment like this). Madison (who - guess what? - phoned in) chimed in with the same thing - which was weak, boring and unoriginal - with a hint of douchebaggery. Has he been taking the Huell Howser class of repeating everything someone else just said?

I also enjoyed how everyone talked about a drought and wasting water while having big pitchers of water in front of them.

And - for those of you who don’t know - for the next whole week, I’m going to be the Interim Acting Deputy Vice Mayor. So, yeah, you’d better listen to what I have to say. Now go make The Proc a sandwich, no mustard.

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If you didn’t know by now, Robin’s Wood Fire BBQ & Grill is the greatest restaurant in Pasadena, owned by a great man, Robin Salzer. Behind every great man is an even greater woman (although, in my case, sometimes I’m behind the woman, if you’re pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down..) - and so I sat down with Ann Marie Villicana, all-star Realtor, former Pasadena City Councilmember, and - most important of all - Robin’s wife. The Aaron Proctor Interview Series continues….

The Proc: Have you ever sold someone a bridge in Brooklyn?

Ann Marie Villicana: No, but I’ve listed and sold 3 major properties immediately adjacent to bridges in Pasadena: an exquisite estate abutting the La Loma Bridge, the famous/infamous Vista del Arroyo bungalow property adjacent to the Colorado Bridge and a secluded estate right next to the Prospect Bridge. I guess I specialize in Pasadena Bridge properties! But not in Brooklyn. If I lived there, I might!

The Proc: What’s up with the WPRA? I wanted to start a wrestling promotion called the West Pasadena Rasslin’ Association once.

AMV: That sounds more interesting and maybe more accurate for the acronym.

The Proc: Which way is the right way to spell your last name? I’ve seen like 40 different spellings.

AMV: Villicana, sounds like a Villa, which is perfect for me selling homes.

The Proc: Who was cooler: Hardcastle or McCormick?

AMV: I don’t know either one, so they can’t be that cool!

The Proc: Remember that time you ran for Mayor?

AMV: Many still think I won and call me Mayor and ask me for help with the city! I rarely clarify the mistake! Ha ha

The Proc: Does your husband give you ribs shaped like cupid hearts for Valentine’s Day?

AMV: No, but this year could be a first due to your suggestion.

The Proc: How many different kinds of Villicana wines are there?

AMV: Many fine red wines in Paso Robles that are winning top awards…all served in glass bottles with corks. Sorry, nothing in card board boxes nor with screw tops! Go to Villicana.com for the scoop and directions.

The Proc: What do you think of Steve Madison?

AMV: The only man I think of is my husband, Robin Salzer.

The Proc: Why’d you make Robin shave his mustache off?

AMV: I knew he’d be much more handsome by revealing his face and great smile.

The Proc: Which is a better nickname for you? “AMV” or “The Ribmistress”?

AMV: A-MV is the nickname that many have called me for years, so it’s established and known.

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Kells Bells came home with an awesome surprise for me this weekend. Look at the Beanie Babies she bought:

They’re so cute and appropriately named “Righty” and “Lefty“. Guess which is which? Now all I need is one of these to complete the set:

I’m 12 years old.

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Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the blogosphere..Virginia Hoge’s raging hard-on for me and this website climaxes with an orgasm of crazy. I’d simply tell her to make a phone call to your local Wahh-One-One..but that would be letting Ginny off far too easy.

A few weeks ago, I snail-mailed Virginia Hoge the coveted Ham And Egger Award for the week. I snail mail everyone the award. Some were even so proud of it, they photocopied it for all their friends at City Hall to see. I found her address on this artistic website (thanks Google). Of course - after she received it in the mail it led to the following post o’er on her blog:

This came in the mail from Aaron Proctor last week, how nice of him to remember my birthday.He listed the return address as: Proctor for Mayor.com, 1559 S. Hill Ave., Pasadena, CA 91107 (what was written on the envelope)*

The post was titled something like “AARON PROCTOR BIRTHDAY HATE CARD!” Is this chick for real?! This is priceless. First, I’m no dummy - I used my old mailing address which now forwards to my brand new pad. Secondly, I had *no* idea it was her birthday - but that’s great. Third, she really really needs to know that Google is her friend and if she doesn’t want people sending her Ham & Egger Awards, to not have your home mailing address posted on some website.

All of these things has lead Virginia Hoge on yet another Anti-Proctor Crazy Bitch Crusade, leaving comments like these on blogs across the `sphere:

Aaron Proctor is a hench-man for the Right - he does not have a “political
future” - he exists only to stir up hate against all of our local
political “good guys” (like Syd Tyler and the Mayor) and support the “bad
guys” like Steve Haderlein (who he calls “sexy”).Its time the local blogging community recognized this, and realized that
they can do something about it.

I’m not a henchman. I’m a fucking leader. The other five Republicans in Pasadena walk a royal pace behind me and get me my Wendy’s. And, are you really that much of a half-wit, Virginia? Do you know anything about the Internet? You’ve never heard of Chuck Norris Facts - those are simply rehashed for Sid Tyler? And how the fuck is Steve Haderlein a bad guy? Did he get you and your hippie dippie friends kicked out of a park for trying to reenact the nude scene from “Hair”? Let the sunshine in - to your brain.

I think my political future is quite bright and I think that’s what scares you, Virginia. I think I’m waking a lot of people up - people dormant from Pasadena’s lull of a political scene before I came around. If you thought I was some flash-in-the-pan (or “One trick pony” as your buddy Larry says)…you probably wouldn’t be wasting your time “Trying to get the word out”. Don’t take my word for it - take the word of the ever-growing legions of The Proc’s fans out there:

Like him, dislike him people all over the SGV believe he is a guy to watch. He is a smart guy, he gets to the heart of matters quickly. Many believe when he controls the message delivery better he will have a pretty bright political future.

- Frazgo.

Anyhoo….there’s also this chestnut - a comment posted over on Frank Girardot’s blog:

Now I have received hate-mail from Aaron Proctor:

http://pasadenanewprogressive.blogspot.com/2008/06/aaron-proctors-hate-birthday-card.html

He is harassing me, the question remains, Why?

I have also noticed he is also harassing all of our local left-leaning politicians in town (like Syd Tyler and Steve Madison) on his blog.

Because it’s hilarious to see your reaction? Because every time you go on one of your crazy crusades, my blog hits go up and my site gets more attention? It’s no more clearer than that. You’d think a rational person would realize this.

But this isn’t rational, this is Virginia Olive Hoge - “legendary letter writer” and otherwise useless - she turns the crazy up a little, pulling a textbook liberal tactic, and begins calling me racist for the following comments. This wreck of a blog entry can only be described accurately by one man - and that’s WWE announcer, Jim Ross:

[in case anyone missed this, here is Aaron Proctor on John Muir high school - yes the alma matter of Jackie Robinson. I don’t know about you, but when I see racism like this existing in 2008, I wonder what Jackie would think, and I am ashamed that this level of racism is still happening today in Pasadena.]excerpt from Proctor for Mayor.com:

Ummm, I might be going out on a limb here, but I know that I’m pretty ashamed and embarrassed we can’t just make John Muir High School a part of La Canada or something. Yeah, I’m ashamed of having that school in my City. Yeah, I think that knowing 1+1 might just make you the Valedictorian of that school. I, for one, think it’s funny to badmouth and continue lambasting such a horrible school and school district to boot. It’s a cheap, easy, funny joke.

  • Wanna know the way kids graduate for John Muir? Take the “f” out of way.

This is hilarious. How in the hell were my comments against John Muir High School racist again? Is it because black people and Hispanic people go there? Is that how it’s racist? So, with your enlightened logic, if I were to say that I can’t stand the Paseo - am I racist because I’ve seen a black guy there before? You know, I think that movie “Man On Fire” totally sucked. Am I racist because Denzel Washington was in the star role? What kind of idiot logic is this?

Virginia - you should really wake up. You’re not “getting the word out” about me. I do a damn fine job of that myself. What you’re doing are other things like “increasing my web traffic” and “showing Pasadena how much of a retard you are”. Thanks, Virginia. Christmas came quite early this year.

I thought we were past all of the grade school stuff - but it’s this simple, Virginia. You don’t like what I have to say? Don’t read my fuckin’ blog. You don’t like my views? There’s plenty of crazies out there who share the same ideas as you. You want to “get the word out about The Proc so they can see what a horrible person he is”? You’re doing a hell of a counterproductive job.

I swear, who knew a lil’ old picture of me holding a bunch of ham and eggs was going to drive so many people so insane? Common sense totally skipped over this woman. Can’t wait until she tries to get my blog shut down like she did to Rene Amy’s listserv a few years back.

By the way, did you see my public service announcements? More are on their way - but check this, this, and this out first!

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When is Dave Allenstein taking over for Fred Ortega?!

Be seeing you,

- AP