You’re my girl, Maggie Mags. Did anyone else see her verbally bitchslap my arch-nemesis Steve Madison last night? You’re my hero, Margaret. Instead of making it a new rule in the City Council Drinking Game, can I buy you a beer? Or two? Or three? Seriously. Keep up the good work. I honestly don’t even know what the whole issue was about - I just saw you rip Madison’s manhood out like you were a female Sid Tyler or something. Want to be my tag team partner?

**

Saturday - Saturday - Saturday! It’s the fourth get-together of all the local bloggers. This time it’s personal…nahh..actually, it’s just in Monrovia. If you haven’t received the super secret special E-Vite, please let me know and I’ll send it to you right away. If you’d like to be in a PSA, let me know, too.

**

The Proc can’t get enough of Rene Amy’s PUSD listserv. Rene likes to post a lot of thought-provoking articles from various publications, like this one from over the weekend in the San Francisco (*vomits in mouth a little bit*) Chronicle:

1997 saw the height of the Math Wars in California.On the one side stood educrats, who advocated mushy math - or new-new
math. They sought to de-emphasize math skills, such as multiplication
and solving numeric equations, in favor of pushing students to write
about math and how they might solve a problem. Their unofficial motto
was: There is no right answer. (Even to 2 +2.)

They were clever. They knew how to make it seem as if they were pushing
for more rigor, as they dumbed down curricula. For example, they said
they wanted to teach children algebra starting in kindergarten, which
seemed rigorous, but they had expanded the definition of algebra to the
point that it was meaningless.

On the other side were reformers, who wanted the board to push through
rigorous and specific standards that raised the bar for all California
kids. Miraculously, they succeeded, and they took pride in the state
Board of Education’s vote for academic standards that called for all
eighth-graders to learn Algebra I.

Whatever happened to just solving for x like a normal human being would? I know I’m just some “unenlightened right-wing dummy from Pennsylvania” - but I got through math just fine and would like to think I have exemplary mathematics skills.

But what do I know?!?!?!?!?

Why should I have to write some hippie dissertation about what 2+2 means to me? How does solving for x make me “feel”? Who the hell cares. Just do the math problem and move on.

The teaching methods are so wussified these days. We need to support our children and give them a good education - but - why are we such nannies, such hand-holders, that we have to take math and make it more complicated and philosophical?

Silly people. Can’t wait until the debate about whether odd numbers can legally marry other odd numbers. Maybe PUSD could give me $11,000 to figure this out. It won’t be a conflict of interest or anything.

**

The Real Zajac has a beautiful article up over at Foothill Cities about a hot topic in the blogosphere as of late: racism. Zajac discusses how - although it’s stupid to be a racist, we shouldn’t be trying to ban a line of thinking because, hey, like or not - that’s pretty “1984″-esque (I didn’t link “1984″ because if you don’t know the book, get the fuck off of my blog. Is that being book-ist?). Miss Havisham also chimes in with a powerful and personal story.

The word racism gets thrown around an awful lot in the Crown City. People who make fun of Muir are apparently racist. People who don’t want to develop homes in an area prone to being blighted are apparently racist. People who don’t like Indian food are racist, apparently. Some of our City Council members and other officials are apparently racist.

Hoge: Likes to use the “r” word

I recently read (and was inspired by) an article by Edwin Decker at the San Diego City Beat. I know I’ve mentioned this particular article before but he has a really, really good point that a lot of people in their high and mighty soapboxes forget: Isn’t everyone a little racist or intolerant of something or someone?

I sure know I am. So, for those of enemies who wish to use this as fodder against me..or for those of you who want to simply be amused - here’s a small excerpt of things/people/places I’m possibly racist or intolerant against:

  • White people who treat me differently after they find out my father is black and I’m not 100% white
  • Greenpeace.
  • Stoners and drug addicts.
  • Companies that don’t do drug testing.
  • Kids with 20 piercings and 50 million tattoos who wonder why they can’t get a decent job.
  • Goth kids who charge a higher cover charge if you’re not in “Goth attire” to their shitty little clubs with crap bartenders and slutty women that nobody wants to go to anyway..so be happy I’m fucking paying even $10 to get into your hole in the wall, you pathetic slags.
  • Goth kids.
  • Surfers. They’re not so tough. Oooooh they beat up the paparazzi. So what? Larry Wilson’s a surfer, apparently. Says a lot right there.
  • Charities who stand outside of the 99 Cents Store and ask you for money. I’m shopping at the fucking 99 Cents Store..do you think I have any money?!
  • For English, Press 1.
  • “Sex In The City“, “Lipstick Jungle“, “Real Housewives of…“, “Desperate Housewives“, the WNBA, “How I Met Your Mother” and “American Idol“
  • Armenian guys who tell you their name is Kevin but it’s really Kevork or something.
  • And the Armenians in North Pasadena Heights who key cars of whites/blacks in “their” neighborhood and stole my girlfriend’s antenna ball.
  • Black people who treat me differently after they find out my father is black (whether they’re nicer to me or not, it’s just not cool..treat me like a fucking human being..)
  • Skinny blonde bitches in Paris Hilton sunglasses who still talk with a Valley Girl accent
  • Skinny blonde bitches
  • Gay guys who get drunk and make out with chicks and grab their boobs and then pass it off for the alcohol and not just being bisexual or a whore. You hear me, Lance????
  • Chicks who get drunk and make out with chicks… Wait, no, I actually don’t mind that.
  • Lakers, Dodgers, Raiders, Cowboys fans. You know what I’m talking about.
  • People who make fun of you for not driving - until gas hit $4.00/gallon.
  • Starbucks and all places like Starbucks. Gimme some gas station coffee, I’m fine.
  • Latinos who say “Viva La Raza”. Dude, it would be like a white guy saying “White power”.
  • “Business casual”. Unless you’re lifting boxes or working in a warehouse or somewhere where you get dirty a lot, we all should have to wear suits to our office jobs.
  • Alhambra.
  • Any race or nationality or ethnicity (including White people) living in the US in 2008 who says racism is bad but then only hang out with, converse with, deal with, date, etc. the people only from their race/nationality/ethnicity.
  • San Francisco.
  • Hollywood is starting to get on my nerves, too.
  • Most of the Midwest and Southern U.S….and Arizona….and Oregon…and Delaware..and all the other states except California or Pennsylvania. Anyone not on that list is “ok”. Las Vegas is an exception. Maryland’s ok.
  • 60-year-old hippie ladies that come to work, don’t do any work, pretend they are your supervisor, regale you with boring stories about doing drugs and going to see The Doors and all of that “Can Do 1960’s Attutide”, work from 12 noon to 9:45 p.m. and then you come in the next morning and find out they didn’t do any work and have to finish what they did, hide work from you so that they can “stay late” and then complain when you’re reading a newspaper for a few minutes, talking to your co-worker about sports or music, or go out for a smoke break - and they have somehow worked there for 3 years without reprimand.
  • People who bum cigarettes when they don’t have any but then are stingy with their cigarettes when they do.
  • Tori Amos fans. Why are they always crazy bitches who slit their wrists? Seriously. Name one hardcore Tori Amos fan you know that isn’t crazy. If she owns a couple CD’s, she’s not a hardcore Tori Amos fan.


I’ll start watching when a chick dunks…

Oh yeah - and illegal immigrants. Big time on that one.

Immigrants, I’m fine with. If you came to this country LEGALLY and passed a citizenship test and all that jazz..rock on…welcome to America…unless your family were Native Americans or taken over here by ships from Africa, your family also likely came through Ellis Island or somethin’ like that. Yay.

People jumping over borders and just slipping into the US, I’m *not* fine with.

Let’s face facts: Canadians aren’t jumping over the borders to take advantage of our liberal welfare system which helps people who are drug addicts and also helps people who aren’t even citizens but can’t help an actual American dude like me who falls down on his luck. So, I don’t think it’s racist to point out that it’s the Mexicans who are the main part of the illegal immigration problem.

Illegal immigrants come here with their hands already out. Illegal immigrants come here and expect US to suddenly learn Spanish. They complain about our schools and our public services and things not catering to them…well….guess what? You’re not a fucking American. We shouldn’t cater to you if you are an illegal. They come here and - yeah, some of them do “the jobs nobody else wants to do” but some of them also commit crimes and help out their families in Mexico. The US isn’t some kind of developmental territory to make Mexico a better place, I’m sorry.

Then, we try to vote against giving them any benefits here…the vote passes..and our Supreme Court overturns the vote.

Pisses me off.

Guess that’s somehow racist though - racist that I want to protect our country’s security and that I don’t want people to get a free pass in life..because I never did.

People always want to have a “dialogue” or a “talk” about race… I’d sure love to engage in one. I think talking about race makes some people feel more uncomfortable than ever (but not me!). Especially if you’re white - or perceived to be white, that is. The point is - racism sucks, racism happens, racism is still apparent. You’re doing a counterproductive thing, though, when you throw the word around too much and on too many things. I’m not trying to get people to sing “Love One Another Right Now” or anything - but - we sure do have to lighten the fuck up a little bit. That’s all I’m sayin’…I think people should be more honest and say what’s really on their minds. We’d probably learn that everyone’s a little intolerant of someone or something..and that there’s many exceptions to the things they’re intolerant of…I know there’s quite a few to things I’ve listed.
**

Sid Tyler wants you to conserve water and will seriously hurt you if you don’t read this week’s Sid Tyler Facts:

  • Sid Tyler can get blackjack with just one card.
  • If you watch City Council meetings on an HD TV, Sid Tyler can actually reach into your living room and punch you in the face.
  • Sid Tyler hates rich people. And he’s rich. And he also hates irony.
  • Sid Tyler can split the atom. With his bare hands.
  • Sid Tyler’s battle cry is “Bingo!”
  • Sid Tyler once bench-pressed the state of Ohio - and all of its residents.
  • What’s black and white and red all over? Sid Tyler’s newspaper after the paperboy talked some trash.
  • Sid Tyler can walk, chew gum, and kick ass all at the same time.
  • After Monday’s meeting, Margaret McAustin can’t stop staring at Sid Tyler.
  • Sid Tyler makes onions cry.

Shiiiiit (is that racist, Virginia?)

- AP