The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

Remember that movie “Snakes On A Plane“? Well, as you all have seen before, I occasionally like to send little drawings to the Mayor. Instead of trying to re-size the damn things to where they look horrible, I’ll just link my latest creation right here. You can enlarge it by left clicking. (That’s what she said).

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There’s a reason why a guy like Joe Hopkins made it to my list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena. He’s fucking insane! Here’s an excerpt from his editorial last week… It’s your standard “conservative media” rant - when I can’t find a single news outlet or paper in this area that’s touting McCain the way he’s describing:

The conservatives want to talk about Barack’s race but they don’t want to talk about McCain’s age. They want to call McCain a war hero because he was shot down while piloting a bomber in Vietnam. What’s so heroic about dropping bombs from the sky on innocent Vietnamese people?

Yep. McCain’s old. We know this. You’re getting up there in years, too, Joe. I know this one dude who ran against someone and had an argument about that opponent’s age - trying to make the opponent’s age a negative. Remember when I called Bill Bogaard 170 years old? He beat me in a landslide. Age doesn’t really mean shit..except that younger people relate to a younger dude more - and then are too high/forgetful to wake up on Election Day and vote for the younger guy…AND… old people vote because a) they come from a generation that cared about voting, b) a lot of policy affects them more than affects us youngin’s and c) they have nothing else to do but play with Choo-Choo and Mitt-Mitt (their cats) and watch Huell Howser. (If you’re lucky, they don’t - d) - have a part-time job where they annoy the fuck out of you and don’t do any actual work)

I digress. I didn’t know you were a conservative, Joe? Because don’t you bring up race, and lately Barack’s race in general, every chance you get? Your whole paper is a big “Look at me! I’m black!” statement. Isn’t it guys like you that do the ol’ “we-don’t-want-to-make-this-election-about-race-but-we-actually-do” scenario? And by guys like you - I don’t mean African Americans..I mean every person who says “Hey - listen - I’m not gonna make this about race.” You just fucking made it about race by saying that! You know how you don’t make an argument about something: don’t bring up something!

And what the fuck…bombing & killing innocent Vietnamese people? Quit you’re cryin’ Ever hear of a little term called Collateral Damage? Here’s what Wikipedia says:

At least one source claims that the term “collateral damage” originated as a euphemism during the Vietnam War and can refer to friendly fire, or the killing of non-combatants and the destruction of their property.^[3]

Is that like the innocent people who died during the Civil War - I’m sure there had to be at least one person who didn’t have slaves or believed in slavery that lived in the Confederate states, right? It’s a war. People die. Children die. Little fluffy kittens die. People who don’t have anything to do with the war die. It sucks..but it happens. It’s not John McCain’s fault as much as it’s not John Kerry’s fault. Oh, but he’s white, so he’s the devil, too..I guess….

I’d have a lot more respect for you, Joe, if you stopped all of this bullshit and came right out and said it:

You’re voting for Obama because he’s black. That’s it. End of story. Lots of people are voting for him because he’s black (just as lots of people are voting against him because he’s black, for McCain cause he’s white, against McCain because he’s white, la la la…). And that’s fine - I mean, it’s stupid to vote for (or against) someone solely based on the color of their skin - but it’s your prerogative. I think you (and a lot of other people) should just come out and say it and quit your tired-ass charade. So…who’s the racist media again? Oh yeah, people like me. I forgot.

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We’ve got a Ham And Egger Award winner this week already - thanks to the suggestion of another winner, Frank Girardot:

Monrovia Mayor Rob Hammond.

Rob Hammond is obviously acting like a jackass toward bloggers. With his knock on the blogosphere last week and failure to realize the great job guys like Frazgo and RCJP are doing in Monrovia - he deserves it well this week. Guys like him are a dime a dozen in Pasadena, they’re just a little bit more quiet about their views of the “Evil Blogosphere”.

He’s also built an empire based on driving fear into people who try and vote against him. I’ve heard stories of countless people who have supported other candidates getting “visits” from Hammond, basically threatening them with code violations and all sorts of other nonsense unless they support him.

The Proc says Hammond needs to know his role, shut his mouth, and eat his breakfast.

Hell, this guy even has Ham in his name. Might as well add some eggs. And - he has a crony named Dick Singer. I don’t even have to make a joke about his name (but I heard that he changed his last name from Head).

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It looks like the Pasadena Star-Toilet Paper had their headline priorities straight yesterday:

Yes, Moe the Chimp is apparently missing (as of this writing - maybe they found him by now - but who the fuck cares?!). Why is this news, again? Screw the guy who got shot in Altadena, right? At least Girardot had the right idea to switching this pointless news to slightly less pointless news about CM Punk. I can’t believe I’m not making this shit up. Maybe Sid Tyler ate him?

(Note: Frank Girardot makes a good point about my screen-cap….in italics…..)

Ok legitimate.
But to be fair Aaron the shooting story is in the display sopt at the top
left hand corner of the page…where more people are going to see it and
read it…
Right?

TOP TEN NEWS STORIES I CARE ABOUT MORE THAN THE MISSING CHIMP

10. Mannie, Moe, and Jack. Which One’s A Coke Addict?

9. Proctor Gets Theme From “$25,000 Pyramid” Stuck In Everyone’s Head

8. Miss Havisham Misplaces Tea, Goes On Killing Spree, 12 Dead

7. South Pasadena Finally Realizes The Insanity Of Having Von’s Next To Pavillion’s

6. Who Put Chocolate In My Peanut Butter?

5. Joe Piasecki Completes Submarine With Screen Door

4. Holden To City: Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

3. Sgt. Schultz Bludgeons Col. Hogan With Tripod

2. Larry Wilson Gives “Mamma Mia!” 5 Stars

1. Moe The Chimp: The Real DB Cooper

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PEF…er….PUSD approved putting a $350,000,000 bond measure on this November’s Presidential election ballot last night. It was approved with 2/3 of the vote. The votes of approval came from Mike “I Look Like A Child Molester” Babcock, Bob “Zuccini Bread” Harrison, Barry Horowitz..I mean..Ed Honowitz, Tom “I Can’t Think Of A Nickname Or Likeness For Him Right Now” Selinske, and Scott Phelps - who - I can’t believe this - phoned it in…making him the school board’s brand new douchebag.

More from the lovely Mary Dee Romney:

At this afternoon’s special BOE meeting where the PEF/BOE majority approved a $350,000,000 general obligation bond for the PUSD, Supe Diaz alluded to the district’s unsavory past with Measure Y and vowed accountability for his *own* bond measure set for a vote in November.

Likewise, Mr. Brinkman affirmed his own personal support for the “accountability issue.”

If accountability is what Mr. Diaz and Mr. Brinkman profess, why did they fail to follow the customary Brown Act procedure of publishing staff reports to the district website prior to this afternoon’s public BOE meeting?

Why were the only two Facilities Master Plan Committee members speaking from the podium recommending against the bond proposal?

Why was the tax-paying public left dependent upon the scanning efforts of Rene Amy and the Greatschools listserve to learn the details of a bond proposal described today by Mr. Lizardo as “a very significant action (and) weighty decision” (?)

It is clear the PEF/BOE is saddled up and ready to ride with the Gilroy cowboys, regardless of so-called “accountability.”

Pasadena Star-News has nothing about this. Of course they wouldn’t. I guess this isn’t news to them. What a shitty newspaper. I guess this isn’t a “big deal”, huh? I guess PUSD “can do no wrong”. Bullshit. I can’t wait to see how they spin this - just like people spun Measure D and lied to everyone. Can’t wait to see what City Council thinks of this nonsense.

PUSD might think they’re fooling people by putting this on November’s ballot so half the people who are voting for President will vote “Yes” on this - but they’re not. I’m going to make sure everyone knows about this crock of a bond measure and make sure people vote no on it. It’s my job…not just as a citizen of Pasadena who actually gives a damn…but as the Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena (and your role model), The Proc.

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The Altadenablog recently had a 5-day crusade to make sure they were linked on Dave Atlantic’s Under The Dome blog.

Today is the first day of my crusade against Altadenablog. It’s called the “Fix My Fucking Link” crusade. You see, they have a very nice section of links that’s quite put together. Except the URL that you get when you click on the link to my site is West Coast Grrlie Blather. Kelly-With-A-Y is cool and all..but it’d be nice if that link actually went to my site. So yeah, fix my fucking link

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Be seeing you,

- AP