2007: Year of the Sock On $5 Million Communist Barbecue Heritage Square Maserati Turkey Tussle Melekian Renegade Jaguar & Other Predicaments

Some new faces of 2007 (From left to right): District 1 Councilwoman Jacque Robinson, District 2 Councilwoman Margaret McAustin, and “Planny” - the Planning Commission dalmatian.

By the power vested in me by hyperlinking and blog archiving, here’s a shout out to the year 2007 - one of the most memorable years of not only my life but Pasadena’s as well.
2007 was definitely a year that saw both challenges for me in my personal life and for the City of Pasadena. While my life saw me unjustly fired from two jobs in the same year and subsequently being exiled to St. Louis, Pasadena saw gang violence, strip club buy outs, Rose Bowl float drama, door hanger drama, developer drama, high school football game drama, a police chief doubling as a City Manager, long-time PUSD board members upset from their seats, and lots, lots more.

Kimberley Brown ran against Steve Madison in the District 6 Council election. I’d like to have her in my polling place, if you catch my drift.

The year started out with some exciting Council and PUSD board races - all culminating with the March Primary election and the April runoff election (well, the latter if you didn’t get trounced by Mayor Bogaard).

Danny Bakewell made hell for Council to quell.

This very blog blossomed and came into its own a few weeks after the dust cleared from the election. As you’ll see, this site started out as my own personal campaign site. After the election, it became a place where I continually posted my attempts at comedic musings, controversial rants, controversial musings, and comedic rants (Ha!).
Ever since late March or early April, this site has become a favorite of elected officials, political candidates, anonymous pundits, newspaper reporters, crazy liberal bitches, bitches with smokin’ bodies, family members, erstwhile school board members, losers on professional wrestling message boards, Nigerian porno spammers, and Average Joes.

Local bloggers Centinel (left) and Dormitas (right).

And it’s not just this blog either. The entire blogsophere - moreso Blogadena - has grown to be quite the influential source from everything like straight information to complete ridicule of/on our leaders. More people pay attention to what goes on at historic City Hall than ever before. Let’s band together and make 2008 even more memorable!

When I was a kid, I was a big fan of those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. So why not sit a spell and do just that - choose your own Proctor-guided adventure in the archives of 2007.

Breakdown: 2007 In Numbers

  • 195,000: The number of total hits for the year 2007 this site will reach sometime just before the end of the year.
  • 8: The number of people on City Council (including the Mayor) who read this blog.
  • Approximately 2300: The number of times the word ‘fuck’ is used on this site.
  • 47: The number of times I’ve pissed people off.
  • 86 minutes: The amount of time it takes Mayor Bogaard to finish a sentence.
  • 48: Updated - number of times I’ve pissed people off.
  • 3,000,000: The number of people I pissed off in the St. Louis area.
  • $5,000,000: The amount the City spent to rid it of a strip club (the amount invested in to gang violence was far less).
  • 40: Ounces of King Cobra goodness.
  • $10 million: The amount Victor Gordo claimed we need in order to pay our police officers and fire fighters, in support of 2008’s worst decision, Measure D.
  • $25 million: The amount in surplus the City actually will have. So why do we need Measure D again?
  • 65,000 or so: The number of registered voters in Pasadena
  • 5: The number of registered voters in Pasadena who vote
  • 4: The number of registered voters in Pasadena who can name the Mayor or any member of City Council
  • 73: The number of times Joe Hopkins attributed gang violence to a late 80’s or early 90’s hip hop group
  • 8,294: The number of hours for entire City Council meetings this year
  • 277: The number of times Jim Lomako used the phrase “granny flats” during the District 2 election
  • 3,156: The amount of people who think things located just above Washington & Allen are part of incorporated Pasadena and not unincorporated Pasadena or Altadena.
  • 1472: The number of geniuses in Pasadena.

Some Things I Learned In 2007

  • John Shaft is a complicated man and no one understands him but his woman.
  • Sid Tyler doesn’t use e-mail, he uses fe-male.
  • The Midwest isn’t good for anything except cheap alcohol and cheap cigarettes.
  • No MTA or ARTS bus in Pasadena is ever on time.
  • Martin Truitt is 7 feet tall, weighs 650 pounds, and lives in a cave under the Allen Gold Line station.
  • Running for office doesn’t get you a burger named after you. Calling the owner of a restaurant a ‘dick’ in the Pasadena Weekly does.
  • Ace Star-News reporter Todd Ruiz and I have both seperately had sexual relations with this one chick back in our younger days. She had good taste.  UPDATE (Dec 27, 2007):  Chick pulls a Steve Madison and cries to me about this.  I took her picture down…here’s the e-mail I sent back:
    Because I'm a nice guy, a paragon of virtue, an icon, a superstar, role
    model, genius, et al....and since it's Kwanzaa, I'll take down your
    picture from that entry.
    
    It's a shame you don't have a sense of humor.  Then again, that's why
    you're a 30 year old Goth chick.
    
    - AP
    www.proctorformayor.com
  • This chick on Law & Order: SVU reminds me of Jane Rodriguez.
  • The Philadelphia Eagles and the Philadelphia Phillies are responsible for breaking my heart twice.
  • Giving up the eyeliner and the eyeshadow and the weird clothes has been one of the better decisions I’ve made in life.
  • Pasadena needs a Wendy’s and an Arby’s.
  • City Council public comment cards make decent paper airplanes.
  • Steve Haderlein is a sexy mofo.
  • The hairstyle that Emo kids have is called a “Cry shield”. The kind of kids who listen to Emo are called “eleven-teens”.
  • Jill organizes fun picnics.
  • Former District 2 City Councilman Paul Little used steroids between his 2001 and 2003 terms.
  • That guy on Orange Grove isn’t going to use the 50 cents you gave him to buy food.

I guess that all sums up 2007.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

- AP

Blogger Death Match: Championship Final

Publius of Foothill Cities defeated West Coast Grrlie Blather in 44:37 with The Pomona Driver.

This match had it all!  WCGB put up a good fight - and got some unwanted help from the likes of The City Of Pomona and the LA Times.  Centinel stayed at ringside to combat all of the outside interference.  At one point, the referee was knocked out and WCGB saw an opportunity with a pair of brass knuckles given to her by the City of Pomona.  However, special guest referee and District 4 City Councilman Steve Haderlein ran down to the ring, admonished West Coast Grrlie, and Publius got the win while she was arguing with the referee.

 

Your winner and the first ever Blogger Death Match Champion - Foothill Cities!

Thanks to everyone who read this silliness and thanks for being good sports about it all.

Have a great weekend!

- AP

Blogger Death Match: Semi-Finals

Foothill Cities defeated Gut Check in 8:31.  Publius was outnumbered as Gut Check brought his fellow bloggers from the Riverfront Times with him.  The City of Pomona carried Centinel out on handcuffs to the ring to distract Publius.  However, the City of Pomona wasn’t clever as Centinel somehow broke free, took out the City of Pomona, and distracted Gut Check as Publius got the upset victory. A re-united Publius and Centinel hugged in the ring.

West Coast Grrlie Blather defeated The Sierra Madre Cumquat in 5 seconds.  The Cumquat came to the ring, offering WCGB $1000 to be in his first adult film, “Sierra Madre Flockers”.  WCGB appeared to have accepted the money, only to deck The Sierra Madre Cumquat with a left cross and get the quick pinfall victory.

The Championship Final is next Saturday with the ultimate showdown between Foothill Cities (with a reunited Centinel & Publius) and a West Coast Grrlie who is on a roll!

Stay tuned!

Blogger Death Match Continues…

Forgot about Blogger Death Match?  I bet you did :-)

The semi-finals are tomorrow!

Gut Check vs. Foothill Cities (sans a kidnapped Centinel)

West Coast Grrlie Blather vs. Sierra Madre Cumquat

- AP 

Blogger Death Match: Second Round

Second round tournament results:

Gut Check defeated Eye Level Pasadena in 4:12.  Ian and Gavin, standing in for Jill who was at ringside taking photos, went toe to toe in a back-and-forth matchup that saw everything from a steel chair to a digital camera to a key lime pie used.  Gut Check got the upper hand and the victory with his finishing move, “the Bear Claw”.

Foothill Cities defeated Leahpeah in 15:36 as this time Publius was the chosen member to represent the FC.  Centinel was kidnapped during the match by the City of Pomona.

West Coast Grrlie Blather once again defeated Todd Ruiz in 7:50.  It was scheduled to be WCGB up against Burningbird.net but the Star-News had purchased Burningbird.net’s slot in the tournament.  This time WCGB won thanks to outside interference from the Pasadena Weekly’s Andre Coleman.

The Sierra Madre Cumquat squashed Kahunna.net in 1:30.

Semi-final matches (Saturday, July 28th): 

Gut Check vs. Foothill Cities

West Coast Grrlie Blather vs. Sierra Madre Cumquat

Stay tuned!

- AP

Blogger Death Match: First Round

First round tournament results:

Eye Level Pasadena defeated 2020 Hindsight in 58 seconds.  Susan and Jill came to the ring together and Jill basically said she’s a lover, not a fighter.  They both agreed to not fight but when Susan began to leave the ring, Gavin took a picture right in her face.  The flash bulb temporarily blinded Susan as Jill got the roll-up pinfall victory.

Gut Check defeated Sierra Madre 91024 in 10:15 with a gutwrench suplex.

Foothill Cities defeated Stonehill News in 7:57.  Before the match, Publius and Centinel played “Rock, paper, scissors” to see who would be their representative in the squared circle.  Centinel won so Publius stayed backstage and wrote a blog about Bradbury. Jeremiah had the upper hand for the majority of the match until the City of Pomona ran into the ring with a steel chair intended for Centinel but accidentally hitting Jeremiah. Centinel got the pinfall victory.

Leahpeah defeated Dusk Devils in 12:14 with a powerslam.

Burningbird.net defeated Aaron Proctor in 2:57 with a Missouri piledriver.

West Coast Grrlie Blather defeated Todd Ruiz by disqualification in 17:18.  Todd was doing fine on his own but Larry Wilson came down to the ring to double team WCGB.  The referee called for the bell and awarded the victory to WCGB as Todd and Larry Wilson bickered in the ring.  Andre Coleman came out and celebrated with WCGB.

Mayor Francis Slay went to a time limit draw (30:00) with Kahunna.net.  After the match, the judges awarded the victory to Kahunna.net.  Slay protested, saying the points awarded to Kahunna.net did not reflect the fact St. Louis was an independent city and was, therefore, statistically incorrect.

Sierra Madre Cumquat defeated Miss Havisham in 4:16 with an inverted DDT.  SMC came to the ring with a bunch of porn stars who distracted the referee and made things tough for Miss Havisham.

Round two tomorrow!

Round 2:

Eye Level Pasadena vs Gut Check

Foothill Cities vs Leahpeah

Burningbird.net vs West Coast Grrlie Blather

Kahunna.net vs Sierra Madre Cumquat

Stay tuned!

- AP

Blogger Death Match: The Tournament

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, my first annual simulated “Blogger Death Match” Tournament begins right here at proctorformayor.com this Saturday!

What is the Blogger Death Match?  Only the most innovative idea to come to this blog since…the last post I made :-)   Seriously, though, stay tuned for what should be some exciting fun!

16 blogs enter…one blog leaves the Ultimate Champion!  The champ shall receive a crappy GIF I made on Microsoft Paint to post anywhere they’d like - or simply delete and forget about!

Here’s the first round match-ups:

Eye Level Pasadena vs. 2020 Hindsight

Sierra Madre 91024 vs. Gut Check

Foothill Cities vs. Stonehill News

Dusk Devil vs. Leahpeah

Aaron Proctor vs. Burningbird.net

West Coast Grrlie Blather vs. Todd Ruiz

Kahunna.net vs. St Louis Mayor Francis Slay

Miss Havisham vs. Sierra Madre Cumquat

Stay tuned!

- AP