The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

The Proc ran into his long-time, close, personal friend Michael Antonovich this past weekend at a GOP shindig in Arcadia.  The Proc also got this lady to play him “The Pennsylvania Polka” on the accordion.  Awesome.

Michael told those in attendance how fucking stupid Villatelemundo’s proposed tax is - and how those of us in the Other Valley shouldn’t be paying for his retarded “Subway To The Sea That Might Kill A Bunch Of People If The Conductor Is Text Messaging”.  Antonovich stated that even Bogey himself doesn’t support this tax, which makes me realize that it’s not because he’s against it - he just doesn’t want to make Pasadena look bad to everyone else.  (If this tax were only in Pasadena, Bogey’d be all over it - because he LOVES taxing people!)

Don’t fall for bullshit taxes, people.  Remember when they tacked on the .25% to our 8.25% sales tax and they said they’d take it away?  That was for the fucking World Series earthquake - 20 YEARS AGO.

If this shit passes, The Proc is gonna be droppin `bows like Pitney.

**

It’s official.  You’re a Ham And Egger if you don’t buy something from The Aaron Proctor Store.

Seriously, folks - I know everyone’s in a financial bind but your money won’t be going to a horrible cause.  The Proc is currently on a drinking moratorium so I can gurantee you the money you pay is only going to a) my world dominance, b) bus tokens, and c) hookers on Craigslist helping out starving children.

The Proc’s also SELLING A COUCH!

**

Speaking of ham and eggers, Frank Girardot is back from vacation.  He had some guy named Brian Day doing his blog.  Isn’t that the guitarist from Queen?  Welcome back Frank!

**

In an attempt to draw hits to his website, Darius Allsaints mentioned The Proc’s name.  Now, I’m flattered that he thinks The Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena would be a great Vice Presidential running mate for some goldbricker - but come on - I’m not 35 years old yet.  Is my receding hairline that bad?

**

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Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Plagued with drug and alcohol issues for years, Jake Roberts ONCE AGAIN makes a fool out of himself - and, in turn, the wrestling industry.

It’s so sad because the guy actually contributed a LOT of key things to the wrestling industry.  He made the “backstage interview” an art form.  He added so much in-ring psychology to the “Fakeness” of pro-wrestling that, during my days in the biz, his name would come up SO much as an example for things.

It’s also sad that the WWE was actually PAYING for him to get help - and he isn’t even a full-time employee of the company.  (Well, they’re doing it to cover their own asses after the whole Benoit thing..)

What I don’t understand is why companies keep hiring him?  I mean, even if people are going out just to see him on some indy show in hopes of another breakdown - a lot of people aren’t even going to do that.  This guy needs some serious help and I’m actually surprised, after seeing him do things like this time in and time out, that the dude’s still alive.

Drugs are always going to be part of the wrestling industry - no matter how many “Wellness policies” you have.  I just feel there needs to be more oversight by these wrestling organizations - so things like this don’t happen.  You’re gonna go let a guy wrestle a match after you find out he had 12 airline vodka bottles right next to his gym bag?  I’m not blaming the organization who ran the aforementioned show entirely - but what I learned in wrestling school (the #1 thing in a match is to protect your opponent) - should be applied here:  the #1 thing when running a show is protecting your fans, the industry, and other wrestlers harmed by a coked-up maniac.

**

Thanks to the real PCC for letting me know that Mayor Bogaard said “fullness of time” at last night’s meeting.  Take a shot.

**

I didn’t see the meeting last night - I was too busy watching one of the best Eagles losses ever.  It wasn’t fuckin’ pass interference, either.  You know what I’m talking about.

The Proc enjoyed the game at the 35er last night, surrounded by dreg of society Cowboys fans, sans alcohol, and sat with this really cool couple for Louisiana, Dick & Edie, who were in the area doing some family stuff.  They were really cool - especially since Dick was originally from Springfield, PA - just a hop skip and a jump away from where I grew up.

That’s probably a preview of the NFC Championship game, folks.  Eagles look like they’re gonna score nearly 40 points a game.  We’ll see how they match up on Sunday against those evil Steelers.  Revenge is a best dish served cold, with a side of Brian Westbrook running for a 70 yard TD instead of fumbling it.

**

Fat Tony’s at it again - and it’s not shock that he’s got no sense of humor (part of the Pasadena Way!):

Are you there, presidential candidates? It’s me, Assemblyman Anthony Portantino, D-Pasadena, and I’m formally declaring my candidacy for vice president of the U.S.

Portantino, keynote speaker at the NAACP’s 24th annual Ruby McKnight Williams Awards Dinner on Thursday night, listed his qualifications for the country’s second-highest office: former mayor of a small town with 21,000 people now representing an area with a population of 500,000.

That, he said, made him “over-qualified” compared with Sarah Palin.

He fell short in one area, as an attendee pointed out.

“He’s not wearing lipstick.”

HAHAHAH…wait…not fucking funny at all.  Going by Tony’s logic:  If all it takes to qualify to be an Assemblyman is to be some Guido from Long Branch, New Jersey - then an ex-wrestling promoter from Philly should run away with the upcoming District 5 City Council seat.

Brian Fuller was born and raised in Altadena…and doesn’t drive into work listening to “Woke Up This Morning“.

And, no, Tony’s not wearing lipstick..but some of his detractors are wearing cement shoes. 

Be seeing you (and thanks to Valley Of The Shadow for the props!),

- AP

“Dear Mr. Proc” is back - and with a new twist.  Once in a while, The Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena, The Proc, will be going around to various advice columnists and answering the letters written to them.  That way, these people can get some good advice instead of the lame crock of shit they’re going to get from Dear Abby (how old is she - 5000 now?)

I think people who write into advice columns are lame as hell.  The people who are written to might be slightly less intelligent than punching yourself in the crotch.  Do you know how much mail these “columnists” get, any how?  “Oh - I’ve got a dire relationship/dating problem that I should talk to a close confidant or friend or family member to - but I’ll shoot ol’ Amy Alkon an e-mail and wait 8 months for my article to get printed!  That’ll learn me!”

These columns survive and are pretty popular, though.  So, The Proc’s decided he wants some of that action.

Today’s first question comes from the genius over at AskDog.com.  Yeah, because I’d totally go to someone named “Dog” for advice.  You’re going to get a long-winded response with a lot of “hey brah’s” in it - or you’re headed to a bonfire on Huntington Beach.  Either way, it’s a big no.

I came out of a long-term relationship a couple of months ago and I’m having a rough time getting over her. She wanted to move on, I wanted much more!

I can’t bring myself to enjoy things we used to do together: fondues, Seinfeld reruns, certain music and things like that. It just makes me sad as it brings back memories.

How do I get over my ex-girlfriend? I feel more and more stuck and pathetic!

Help!

Easy peasy, my friend.  There’s this cool website called Craigslist.  And, on Craigslist, there’s a section called Erotic Services.  Just go on there, find a chick for a decent rate in your neighborhood, and PAY her to have a fondue Seinfeld fun-filled evening.  She can’t say no - `cause she’s a whore!  Who knows? You might get a little “Yada, yada, yada” of your own!  Or anal for an extra $200.  Jenny (or whatever her name was) who?  I thought so.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, “Elli,” for two years. We haven’t seen each other for almost six months, and now she has decided she wants time apart.

(From “Dear Abby on Yahoo! News“, September 8th, 2008)

Are you a fucking idiot?  She’s totally banging some other dude (or possibly a chick, these days).  If she wants “time apart” when you haven’t seen her face in 6 months, all of your man alarms and whistles should be going off as loud as air raid sirens.

If one of your friends who you haven’t seen in 6 months calls you up and said “Dude, I think we need some space..” - you’d pretty much think “This guy doesn’t want to hang out with me”.

Wake up, assclown.   She’s gettin’ it on with some guy who says he’s from Sweden but only seems to have a Swedish accent when he’s drunk and walks around the night club selling cigarettes for Camel as the only trade he plies, with his 1985 big hair and lame ass t-shirt with skulls on it.

Fuck that noise.

Stay tuned for another edition of “Dear Mr. Proc” soon!

**

Well, I’ve finally figured out why I got a phone call from Mickey Rourke’s agent about 4 or 5 years.  I was hoping it was because Mickey was making another “9 1/2 Weeks” movie and needed some sexual pointers - but - nope - his agent called me to talk pro-wrestling (as I was a promoter at the time).

I guess Mickey was trying to research a role - cause - lo and behold - look what was in the LA Times the other day:

In Toronto, Fox Searchlight pins ‘The Wrestler’

The
specialty division pays a reputed $4 million to $5 million to
distribute the film in which Mickey Rourke plays a broken-down fighter.

By PATRICK GOLDSTEIN

September 9, 2008

TORONTO — INDEPENDENT film may be grappling with an inability to
perform at the box office, but that didn’t stop “The Wrestler” from
inspiring an all-night bidding war after it screened at the Toronto
International Film Festival on Sunday night.

Fox Searchlight ended up buying the U.S distribution rights to the
Darren Aronofsky film, which had already won the prestigious Golden
Lion prize at last week’s Venice Film Festival. The movie, which
features a riveting performance from Mickey Rourke as an over-the-hill
wrestler, was considered the hottest potential buy at the festival.
Searchlight chief Peter Rice was not available for comment, but rival
bidders say the sale was completed in the wee hours Monday morning,
with the film going for a purchase price in the $4-million to
$5-million range.

Sony Pictures and Lionsgate were also leading bidders, but
Searchlight, which has emerged in recent years as the specialty world’s
leading marketing and distribution entity, came away with the prize. It
is expected that Searchlight will release the film later this year, at
least in L.A. and New York for an Academy Award qualifying run. The
sale gives Searchlight two of the top attractions here: The company
recently took over U.S. marketing and distribution for Danny Boyle’s
“Slumdog Millionaire,” the surprise hit of the recent Telluride Film
Festival, which Searchlight will release Nov. 28. The studio shares the
film with Warner Bros., which didn’t have enough space on its schedule
or passion for the project. In “The Wrestler,” Rourke is an
over-the-hill fighter whose best days are way behind him. With his
shoulder-length, dirty-blond curls, a fake tan and a scarred body
bulked up on cheap steroids, he looks less like Gorgeous George than
the dissolute leader of an ’80s hair band gone to seed. The movie is
loaded with cheesy ’80s rock (think Ratt, Poison or Mötley Crüe), which
blares out of Rourke’s dinged-up van and the strip club where his
friend Cassidy (Marisa Tomei) works as a pole dancer.

Sounds like a decent flick.  Might check it out. The only movie I’ve ever seen which was even realistic about the wrestling biz was the documentary, “Beyond The Mat” - which I still recommend you pick up and rent today, even though a lot of the stuff going on in the business at the time isn’t going on anymore.  That film accurately displayed wrestling at the height of its 2nd Golden Age and showed just how hard it is to stay around that business.

No wonder some of us get into politics after our tenure in those smoky arenas on the independent wrestling scene.  Politics is a piece of cake compared to it.

**

Some people in my party are all pissed at Ownedbama after his little “lipstick on a pig” quip.

Calm down, Grand Old Proctormaniacs.  I think this is what Barack meant to say:

“You can’t put lipstick on a pig. But if I’m elected - the Democrats will be in charge, so, we’ll make sure you can marry one.”

(Turns out my boy McCain made a similar comment about Hillary.  Oh well, I’m running for CITY COUNCIL!)

UDPATE:  The fish wrap comment.  Well, let’s put it this way, all you peeps who get pissed at me calling Madison a “douchebag” - really shouldn’t any more. 

Hey - the uglier this election gets, the more it benefits a guy like me

**

Speaking of November’s election, you should really consider voting for Brian Fuller - who is running against Fat Tony in the 44th Assembly District.

Brian’s a local guy, he’s the kind of dude that you can feel comfortable talking to.  He comes off as really honest and really does want to fight for reform in this area - especially when it comes to gerrymandering, which creates gridlock and doesn’t end up benefitting anyone - Republican or Democrat.  He’s got The Proc’s vote, that’s for sure.

Check out his amazing results on the “Political Courage Test“!

**

If I was still drinking, I’d be drunk after Dormitas’ City Council review.  Thanks, City Council Drinking Game.  Patting the ass of West Pasadena?  Take seventeen shots.

Looks like our fearful leaders are at it again - throwing caution (and our money) into the wind and spending our money so people in Linda Vista can continue enjoying the Pasadena Way.

Guess we know where everyone’s priorities are.  Even my future opponent, Victor Gordo, thinks that the people in Linda Vista are gonna let us District Fivers come and play over there.  Bullshit, I say.  You know who Gordo reminds me of?

Bebop from the Ninja Turtles.  Seriously. The not-so bright fucking henchman.  Maserati Madison is Shredder.  The people of District 6 are Krang.

**

Be seeing you,

- AP

I’ve really been enjoying “Pasadena: A Business History” (one of my birthday gifts).  Really cool book.  I’m learning a lot!
The Foothill Cities Blog is inviting you to Take A Shot At City Hall!

We on the FC Blog spend a lot of time berating local city councilmembers. But while gadflying around local city halls, we couldn’t help but notice that some of them are actually good-looking buildings (see the picture of Pasadena City Hall above). So, we figured, why not hold a contest to see who can take the best picture of one of these hallowed halls? We couldn’t think of any reason not to so we’re announcing the “Take a Shot at City Hall” Photo Contest. Better yet, thanks to Photolimn, Life Preserver: Digital Archiving and Aaron Proctor, we have some great prizes for the winners, and thanks to me we’ve even got a prize for the losers. Here are the rules:

• You can submit up to three pictures of a city hall. We will only consider your first three submissions, so don’t bother spamming.
• You can submit your pictures one of two ways: 1) (strongly recommended) by adding them to our Flickr pool (with the tag “cityhallcontest”) or emailing us your submission to centinel[at]thefcblog.com (if you really hate Flickr).
• The top ten pictures will be put to a public vote, and the top three vote-getters will win prizes.
• The final five pictures will be selected by a panel of judges including myself, Publius, Zajac, Petrea, Frazgo, Ben and Proctor (and possibly a celebrity judge!)
• Your picture can be of any city hall or city hall-related building in the world (like this knockoff of Pasadena City Hall in Japan). Bonus points will be given to photos that have an FC or Southern California connection, but don’t hesitate to send them in from elsewhere.
• All submissions must be added to the pool or emailed by Friday, August 1st at 5:00PM. Top ten will be chosen and winners selected after voting is complete.
• Authors, Contributors, and contest judges to the FC Blog are, of course, not eligible to win any of the prizes.

And here are the prizes:

• First Place: one free photo to painting conversion (16 x 20), courtesy of Photolimn ($200 value)
• Second Place: One free photo album film to digital conversion, courtesy of Life Preserver: Digital Archiving ($100 value)
• Third Place: 25% off a photo-painting conversion (any size), courtesy of Photolimn (value depends on size of painting)
• And the Last Place prize, for worst picture of a city hall, will get a “Mistakes Will Be Made” T-Shirt, courtesy of Aaron Proctor. ($19 value)

Finally, anyone who participates in this contest (that is, sends in a photo at all) will automatically receive 10% off any Photolimn product or order (and that does include anyone who writes for us or is a judge. Sweet!)

A word of clarification on what counts as a “photo of city hall.” It can be anything you want, but there has to be at least a piece of a city hall in the picture. Be creative and knock our socks off. If you’ve already put you awesome picture in our Flickr group (we do have over 2,500 pictures there and counting), then just add the tag “cityhallcontest” and you’re entered!

Any questions or concerns, please email centinel [at] thefcblog.com. Now, get shooting!

I’m sure he meant to type that The Proc is the celebrity judge.

**

City Council reconvened last night after their summer vacation. They all got together to fix a bridge for hippies hikers. Riveting.  Some other notes of interest:

• The woman from the Sisters Cities Committee or whatever its called butchered those foreign exchange students’ names.  Party foul.
• Speaking of which - Hey Erdwoman - how do I become a “host family”?  That Finnish chick could stay at my pad any time she wants.  Even Kelli thought she was hot.  Nice, huge rack and she had a weird combination of a Finnish and California accent.  Why is every woman from Finland so damn hot?
• I’m sure Steve Madison got the girl’s number before I could.
• Speaking of which - Steve Madison PHONED IT IN AGAIN!!!!
• At least when I was watching the meeting, there wasn’t any Young Jacque either.
• Bogaard needs to really stop playing with his pen - you can hear him twirling it in the microphone.  Annoying as fuck.

We also got to find out what they all did with their time off:

TOP TEN THINGS THE CITY COUNCIL DID ON THEIR SUMMER VACATION

10. When asked “What did you do, Chris?”, he replied - “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.”

9. Victor Gordo, blindfolded, thought he was beating a pinata senseless - then it turned out to be an actual donkey.

8. Interim City Manager Barney Melekian caught up on his soap operas. Hey, he’s a big “Young & The Restless” fan. Leave him alone.

7. Steve Haderlein got 20% more sexier.

6. Jacque Robinson finished “The Old Man & The Sea” for her 10th grade summer reading requirements. Her parents were so proud that they let her go to Magic Mountain.

5. Sid Tyler went back to the late 80’s to have lunch at Bullock’s. He then promptly banged one of the models in the lunchtime fashion show.

4. Steve Madison was jealous of #5.

3. Bill Bogaard changed the lyrics to “People Are People” by Depeche Mode to “Persons Are Persons”.

2. Stephanie DeWolfe fantasized about me.

1. Iron Maggie got wasted in the City Council Drinking Game - simply by watching the video of her owning Madison over and over again.

**

I received some belated birthday presents - particularly an awesome one from Miss Havisham. She couldn’t make it to my birthday shindig on Saturday - but she sent along this special Top Ten List…#4 still has me dying of laughter. Dig her fancy handwriting:

And there are some more rockin’ pictures over on West Coast Grrlie Blather’s blog - especially the one of me with the Hank’s Root Beer - right outta the Illadel. Frazgo got some great snapshots - here, here, here, et ici.

**

Poor IndyMac Bank. It’s all over the news. Maybe these ads I made for them will cheer everyone up?

**

I’m really starting to hate this “staycation” word that’s ever-so popular this summer. Maybe it’s because my family couldn’t afford to take big vacations to Disneyworld in Florida like other kids could when I was in school - so nearly every summer was a “staycation”. Why can’t people just fucking call it “I’m staying around town this year because of the shitty gas prices/economy/whatevs…”? Do we really need to make these lame-ass words to make “We’re broke as shit this summer” sound better to people who aren’t usually in that situation?

So, yeah, stop calling it that. If you’re off from work or taking a day off/taking a weekend to spend it with your family and you’re going down the street to do it (or if you’re just hangin’ in your backyard) - guess what, genius? It’s a VACATION.

If I hear someone say “staycation” one more time, The Proc is going to have to lay the smacketh down…………..-cation.

**

Remember my visit to St. Louis last year?  When I was there, I learned that pretty much the only thing keeping the 2nd most dangerous (sometimes most dangerous) city in the US together are the St. Louis Cardinals & Anheuser-Busch.

Well, one down, one to go.  Not that I have much sympathy for a city already on the decline - but this is kinda, how do you say, the nail in the coffin.
Yes, A-B is now owned by a Belgian company.  A company that promises it will keep St. Louis as its North American headquarters, yada yada yada, once they spend a year there they know they won’t do it, St. Louis is pretty much fucked…etc etc.

A-B is now owned by a company which operates a brewery in Cuba.

Well, they’ll just have to fix that sign at Sea World..ya know the one that promotes how A-B is American owned, American operated, etc., etc.  Now Budweiser is the official beer of the country that rolled over for the Nazis.

Tastes great, less filling.

**

I think I have a new favorite show on the web.

Be seeing you,

- AP

The Proc says: Don’t forget to pick up a Pasadena Weekly this week. There’s another edition of “5 Questions” (the evolution of the Aaron Proctor Interview Series) - this time it’s with Petrea of Pasadena Daily Photo. Check it out!

**

There’s a tour happening in Pasadena on July 26th that might pique the interests of one Frank Girardot. According to Metroblogging LA, it’s called the Pasadena Confidential Crime Bus Tour:

WHAT: Esotouric presents the Pasadena Confidential crime bus tour with
Crimebo the Clown and Cravens Mansion tour
WHEN: Saturday July 26, 11am-3pm
COST: $58, which includes snacks and beverages
WHERE: Departs from Fair Oaks and Arlington Street, South Pasadena.

Okay before you start yelling, this tour is so great you might (and I can understand if you find you just can’t) want to put aside your natural loathing of clowns and just get on board already.

What will you see?

Crime fiends will enjoy a four-hour guided luxury bus tour to the darkest
recesses of Pasadena history, with a vintage slide show to set the scene.
From celebrated cases like the RFK assassination, “Eraserhead” star Jack
Nance’s strange end, black magician/rocket scientist Jack Parsons’
death-by-misadventure and the 1926 Rose Parade grand stand collapse, to
fascinating obscurities, the tour’s multitude of murders, arsons,
kidnappings, robberies, suicides, auto wrecks and oddball happenings provide
a alternate history of Pasadena that’s as fascinating as it is creepy.

Crime Bus passengers will tour the old Millionaire’s Row on Orange Grove,
boggle at the shocking Sphinx Murder on the steps of the downtown Masonic
Hall, thrill to the misadventures of one very poorly-behaved (but
beautifully dressed!) chimpanzee and discover why people named Judd should
think twice before moving to Pasadena. They’ll also enjoy the offbeat charms
of Crimebo the Crime Clown as he leads passengers out onto Suicide Bridge
for a personal look down into the gorge that tempted dozens of tormented
souls to their demise.

Sounds interesting but $58?! That’s a bit steep. How about this: Kelli and I will charge you $5 (or a pack of smokes) and we’ll drive you around on “The Real Pasadena Tour“. We’ll visit hooker motels, Steve Madison’s house, The 1881, and more. Snacks will be provided - if you like Pop Tarts from the 99 Cents Store.

**

Continuing in my quest to let you all in on The Ten Things I Love About Pasadena (inspired by the people over at Cartersblog - and a companion to The Ten People Ruining Pasadena), we arrive at #6 on the list:

Bahama Lanes!

Yes, believe it or not - there’s a bowling alley (for now) in Pasadena that isn’t one of those lame-ass “Lucky Strike” hipster bowling alleys. I’m sure once the limo Liberals take full control of everything here, it’ll be a dance studio or something - but for now, it’s an old school bowling alley. Complete with a rockin’ bar and cheap food, Bahama Lanes is an awesome place to hang out and knock down pins after, say, having a burger named after me at nearby Robin’s.

For me, I’ve always noticed I’m an excellent bowler when I’m intoxicated and not so much when I’m not. Yeah, the place can get crowded with families from time to time who will yell at you to “watch your language” - still, it’s a long cry from the Froo-Froo bullshit at the Paseo Colorado.

As long as places like Bahama Lanes are around, there will always be a place you can go to get away from Fake Pasadena. That’s why it comes in at #6 on The Ten Things I Love About Pasadena. Steeeeeeeeeeee-rike.

**

Pasadena Now and Inside Pasadena have formed a “strategic alliance” according to their website and to Centinel at Foothill Cities. Ya know, the website that some people said was going to “blow the other newspapers out of the water.” LOLZ.

Riveting. This has just about the same relevance to met as if I heard that the blonde kid from Mr. Belvedere got with Brigitte Nielsen. I even think my site is more widely-known than these two. Pasadena Now really needs to work on its site to come anywhere near importance. Considering their breaking Community news contains stories from February and May on the page. They should seriously change their name to Pasadena Then.

Here’s how Pasadena Now ranks in where I get my news here in the Crown City:

1. Various blogs like Foothill Cities and Crime Scene
2. Rene Amy’s listserv
3. Pasadena Weekly
4. My own personal “inside” sources
5. Pasadena Star-News
6. Dave Ackenstein’s Blog
7. The yelling crazy homeless guy on Hill & Washington
8. Pasadena Cosmopolitan
9. Trader Joe’s Fearless Flyer
10. Menu at Domenico’s
11. Wayne Lusvardi
12. The retard who bags my groceries
13. Graffiti outside WCGB’s house
14. WWE.COM
15. The stray cats in my neighborhood
16. Joe Hopkins
17. Cats That Look Like Hitler
18. Delaware County Daily & Sunday Times
19. Pasadena Now

Yep, that’s pretty accurate. Pasadena Now’s coverage is nothing short of award-winning.

Ham and Egger Award winning, that is. Maybe they’ll report on this sometime in March of 2010.

**

Yesterday, Ann Erdman and Jane Rodriguez gave me a behind-the-scenes tour of City Hall. This was cool for a number of reasons. First, I got to say goodbye to our favorite City Clerk - who is leaving later this month. Secondly, I never got to go behind the Rose Curtain and I actually learned a LOT about City Hall from Ann’s tour. Like - did you know that the reason our City logo has a crown AND a key in it was because the original City Council in 1886 couldn’t decide whether Pasadena was for “Crown of the Valley” or “Key of the Valley” - so they just put both in the logo? Pretty neat. They also originally wanted to call our city “Indianola”, since there were settlers from Indiana. Indianola, CA. Don’t like the sound of that.

Jane started off the tour. I was so excited that I forgot to turn on my camera until Ann’s part of the tour. Jane took me to see “her side” of City Hall - where her office and staff is as well as a jolly Senior Asst. City Clerk, Mark Jomsky. Jane showed me the vault - an actual walk-in vault where all the records and ballots are kept. There’s a short girl who works back there, so they made a cool lookin’ hat for the girl so she doesn’t get caught in between the shelves. This part of the tour was very educational and fun - and it was nice to see Jane before she goes on to her next endeavor.

Then, it was Ann’s turn to show me around. She asked me where I wanted to go and I told her Council Chambers and the courtyard. So - we began on the tour to Council Chambers, something I’ve had fantasies about seeing from behind the dais!

Ann Erdman’s office and desk. Damn, she’s won a lot of awards. And she has a mini Etch-A-Sketch!

The hallway by the Mayor’s office. These are all of the Mayors of Pasadena. They’ll put Bogaard’s second picture in when he’s finished being Mayor in 2039. There’s not a space for me yet…so I’ll affectionately call this the “Hall of Geezers”.

H.J. Holmes, the first Mayor of Pasadena.

Down this hallway is the Mayor’s office, some hot chick in glasses that Ann didn’t introduce me to, and stuff. It’s where Council members take the “walk of shame” after meetings, I guess.

This is where City Council has their closed sessions.

You know that door that you see people going out of during meetings? This is what it leads to. I guess this is also where the City Council Drinking Game is played - since you can watch the meeting on the big screen TV right there.

Fully-equipped kitchen. Bad ass!

These display cases are for the gifts we get from our Sister Cities. They like to give us a lot of plates and birds.

Behind the dais - from about Jacque Robinson’s point of view.

The Mayor’s Gavel!!!

Sir, you have 30 seconds!

Steve Madison’s chair. Lots of work gets done from here.

1/2 of my lovely tour guides - Ann Erdman!

Best picture ever taken.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Part 2 of my City Hall Tour - the Courtyard!

**

Don’t forget to check out my “PUSD: Mistakes” T-Shirt! On sale now!

Tomorrow is my 27th birthday - so you should celebrate. Kelli insisted I open one of my presents early last night..and it was an electronic dart board! Awesome! I’ve always wanted one! So fun - and it has like 75 different kinds of dart games on it! Love you lots, Kelli! Thank you!

- AP

Congratulations to CM Punk. This guy became the WWE World Champion last night on what was an unusually amazing episode of Monday Night RAW. Not only did CM Punk work his way up from the independent ranks to do this (and became quite the fan favorite) - he’s a great guy to be representing WWE at the moment. You see, CM Punk - in real life and in character - is “Straight Edge”. No drugs, no cigarettes, no alcohol, nothing. Now, I’m not down with the no cigarettes/no alcohol/no sex before marriage lifestyle (actually I think being “Straight Edge” is pretty lame) - but with all the steroids shit going on in the WWE and other sports/entertainment, there’s nobody better to represent the company.

**

The Proc has been analyzing District 2 City Councilmember Paul Little’s recent blog entry lately:

Council passed the annual operating budget last Monday night. Mostly, from what I can see the budget is appropriate.

I do have one serious concern: they added nearly $4 million more to the city’s General Fund reserve. Ok. Reserves help with stability, and generally I don’t have an issue with a healthy reserve. BUT, Pasadena already has a very healthy General Fund reserve. So healthy, the city recently earned a AAA bond rating.

Here’s my gripe, when they were campaigning for passage of Measure D, which I supported, the Mayor, former city manager, current interim city manager and the Council said they faced an emergency if the Utility User Tax wasn’t extended. BUT, now that the have the UUT in place, the city leaders are taking cash and putting it in their own reserve funds. NOT using it for services. NOT using it for constituent support. NOT using it for anything at all. If there was an emergency in February and it no longer exists, it seems to me only fair that, rather than line the city’s bank account, the appropriate action would have been to rebate that $3.7 million to the folks who pay the Utility User Tax.

As for the argument that other cityies have higher reserves — those cities don;t enjoy a AAA bond rating. They also don;t have a utility company that generates mass quantities of money on a daily basis and that carries both a reserve and a working capital reserve valued together at more than 15% of the General Fund budget. Oh, and let’s not forget the Capital Projects Reserve and a host of other funds carrying balances to hedge against lost revenue or emergencies.

So, I have take my hat off to Martin Truitt and Wayne Lusvardi, who apparently were prescient when they said that the city didn’t have an emergency, didn’t need the UUT renewal and that city leadership was only going to fatten its own wallet with the money.

In times of economic stress, I do find it difficult to accept a city government that increases its own reserves rather than do what it can to relieve the stress on its citizens and businesses.

Well, duh. Measure D was such a fucking crock - but hardly anyone listened, did they? Paul Little’s entry is great and all - but I’m still wondering - why did he exactly support Measure D in the first place? Why didn’t he do his own research? He would have come to the same conclusion that Truitt and Lusvardi did. Right? Why all of the 20/20 hindsight now, Paul? You’re a big voice in this City, a lot of us tend to listen when you speak - why didn’t you take the time to see how big of a hornswoggle Measure D really was?

Speaking of being bamboozled - according to Rene Amy - the PUSD is proposing a $350,000,000.00 (yes that’s $350 million) bond measure to go on November’s ballot. And if that doesn’t outrage you - maybe Rene’s description should:

…folks may not actually realize that bonds are like a mortgage
that all property owners in the district must pay back through increases
in their yearly property taxes.

Such bonds are typically paid back over 30 year.

We’ve still got about 20 years left on paying the mortgage on Measure Y.

So, this next bond would be like a second mortgage - with extra added
payments due year in and year out….

Oh, what the fuck. $350 million? In Steve Haderlein math, that’s 70 Peppermint Gardens. (Take a shot). So, PUSD is going to try to be all cool and sneak this bond measure on the ballot with, ya know, the biggest Presidential election ever - and have people just blindly vote “yes” on it because they’re skipping everything else to go vote for the President.

Are they insane!? If we’re still paying money back on Measure Y - which I still have yet to see numbers supporting what exactly, if anything, Measure Y solved - are we, as citizens, going to shell out another $350 million so the geniuses at PUSD can bring gangsta rappers to show kids the way or pay Virginia Hoge more money to stroke their academic cocks?

Of course - I’m sure the same people who supported Measure D will tell us what a good idea this is. Then, a few months later, one of their main supporters will come out and tell us that they were basically a shill and that this bond measure is faker than most women’s tits out here.

Crimeny. Is there anyone with a brain left!?

**

Bloggers picnic photo. Courtesy WCGB:

Front row: The 99 Cent Chef, Pasadena Daily Photo, Ed Padgett.

Middle: Miss Havisham, Irina.

Standing in the back: Monrovia City Watch, WCGB, the cool dude Adam who hangs out with Brian Fuller, Kelli with an i, Ann Erdman, Susan Kitchens (who got me blogging in the first place).

The taller guys in the very back: Brian Fuller, Aaron Proctor, a space for Centinel, Frazgo.

Not pictured: The Sky Is Big In Pasadena, Alex Zucco (an FC Contributor), The Real Zajac

There’s also more coverage by Frazgo here on Metroblogging LA. Apparently that post was linked on MSNBC the other day - explaining another day of ridiculous web traffic for me.

Another group photo - by Frazgo

The pic is of the bloggers who willingly wanted to be shown on the net. That is the lovely Miss Havisham sitting on FCBlog co-owner, Centinel’s shoulder. To the right is equally invisible owner Publius. Invisible because no one knows who they are including those of us invited to post there know who they really are.

Speaking of bloggers - I found a really rockin’ blog out in Burbank called Valley of The Shadow. Thanks for the kind words!

**

We’re down to the #2 spot on my list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena. Let’s go over what we’ve learned so far:

#10 gets crazy with Virginia Hoge.

#9 is straight outta North Pasadena with Joe Hopkins.

#8 wants money but won’t let you buy them lunch. The homeless of Pasadena.

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright - Larry Wilson (#7)

#6 was too busy watching MTV to go out and vote on Election Day

#5 - Peter Dreier, whose beard is full of bong resin and potato chips

#4 makes me sick.

#3 kept me on hold for 72 minutes and transferred me 6 times.

And now……#2 on the list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena. This next entry might not be a shock to most of you - the position on the list just might be a surprise, though:

Councilmember Steve “Maserati” Madison!

Ric Flair has Sting. Superman has Lex Luthor. Bugs Bunny has Elmer Fudd. Virginia Hoge has common sense. Everyone’s got their rival, their enemy, their arch-nemesis.

My arch-nemesis and product of all my polemics happens to have been a Councilmember for like the past 12 years now. His name is Steve Madison, he drives a Maserati, and he’s kind of a douchebag. I think, for the first time ever, other people in Pasadena are starting to see this as well.

It all began a long, long time ago in a land far, far away during the 2007 Election. Back when I was an eyeliner-wearing Goth kid who supported rent control running for Mizayor. Toward the end of the race, there was a debate over at the Neighborhood Church. Kelli and I arrived a little late and she accidentally went into the door for candidates with me. (It was a separate door from the spectators).

Unbeknownst to me at the time, Madison turned to Kells Bells and yelled at her “THIS DOOR IS FOR CANDIDATES ONLY!!!!!!!!!” Kelli was furious and snapped back with a comment explaining how she was with the Mayoral candidate.

Madison and I tried to bury the hatchet once or twice but all it ended up being was a dissertation from him about how I’m being “brainwashed” by the “right-wing” of Pasadena. Or how he didn’t like that I called his 20-something girlfriend a stripper because she looks like one. I guess he didn’t realize that I can think for myself and make my own choices and it was actually guys like him and Bogaard and stuff trying to exploit me for the benefit of Liberals. Oh - and I forgot to mention - I once sent him an Aaron Proctor pin as a peace offering - and he mailed it back to me.

So, the Sock on Madison campaign kind of started from all of that and never looked back. Here’s the real problem I have with Madison - he’s not an informed guy, he doesn’t really know what’s going on in Pasadena nor does he care because he puts his job before his constituents. He thinks of City Council as more of a playground than an actual important entity.

Last week at City Council, he had the audacity to make a joke about the electricity bill when Iron Maggie was just trying to figure out what she was actually voting on. A few weeks before that, he sent his henchman, Victor Gordo, out to try and make me apologize to Madison for claiming he was going to miss a month or so of City Council (after Gordo had sort of told me that’s what was going on). Madison can’t fight his own battles, claims he doesn’t read this website, and sends Moose from Riverdale after me.

So - after all of this - I think that definitely qualifies Madison to be on this list. When you’ve been elected to serve the people and blatantly disregard serving the people, you’re messing up the Crown City. Hopefully someone grows some balls and runs against him in 2011. That person would be my hero.

Wonder who’s gonna be #1 on this list? We’ll find out soon.
**

Better watch out..cause Sid’s a war machine…

It’s time for this week’s Sid Tyler Facts:

• When Sid Tyler wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
• The Monrovia Police originally thought someone had Sid Tyler in their trunk.
• Sid Tyler has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.
• Sid Tyler walked out of church when they were talking about the Rapture. He was overheard muttering “That’s not how I’m going to do it…”
• The Kama Sutra was originally known as “The Diary Of Sid Tyler”
• The real reason PBS has pledge drives is so they can hire protection from Sid Tyler. He’s not a fan of Upstairs, Downstairs.
• Sid Tyler uses staples as hair gel.
• Despite Sid Tyler’s rage, he is still just a Councilman in a cage.
• When in Rome, do what Sid Tyler does. Kill.
• Sid Tyler’s belly button is actually a power outlet.

Be seeing you,

- AP

You’re my girl, Maggie Mags. Did anyone else see her verbally bitchslap my arch-nemesis Steve Madison last night? You’re my hero, Margaret. Instead of making it a new rule in the City Council Drinking Game, can I buy you a beer? Or two? Or three? Seriously. Keep up the good work. I honestly don’t even know what the whole issue was about - I just saw you rip Madison’s manhood out like you were a female Sid Tyler or something. Want to be my tag team partner?

**

Saturday - Saturday - Saturday! It’s the fourth get-together of all the local bloggers. This time it’s personal…nahh..actually, it’s just in Monrovia. If you haven’t received the super secret special E-Vite, please let me know and I’ll send it to you right away. If you’d like to be in a PSA, let me know, too.

**

The Proc can’t get enough of Rene Amy’s PUSD listserv. Rene likes to post a lot of thought-provoking articles from various publications, like this one from over the weekend in the San Francisco (*vomits in mouth a little bit*) Chronicle:

1997 saw the height of the Math Wars in California.On the one side stood educrats, who advocated mushy math - or new-new
math. They sought to de-emphasize math skills, such as multiplication
and solving numeric equations, in favor of pushing students to write
about math and how they might solve a problem. Their unofficial motto
was: There is no right answer. (Even to 2 +2.)

They were clever. They knew how to make it seem as if they were pushing
for more rigor, as they dumbed down curricula. For example, they said
they wanted to teach children algebra starting in kindergarten, which
seemed rigorous, but they had expanded the definition of algebra to the
point that it was meaningless.

On the other side were reformers, who wanted the board to push through
rigorous and specific standards that raised the bar for all California
kids. Miraculously, they succeeded, and they took pride in the state
Board of Education’s vote for academic standards that called for all
eighth-graders to learn Algebra I.

Whatever happened to just solving for x like a normal human being would? I know I’m just some “unenlightened right-wing dummy from Pennsylvania” - but I got through math just fine and would like to think I have exemplary mathematics skills.

But what do I know?!?!?!?!?

Why should I have to write some hippie dissertation about what 2+2 means to me? How does solving for x make me “feel”? Who the hell cares. Just do the math problem and move on.

The teaching methods are so wussified these days. We need to support our children and give them a good education - but - why are we such nannies, such hand-holders, that we have to take math and make it more complicated and philosophical?

Silly people. Can’t wait until the debate about whether odd numbers can legally marry other odd numbers. Maybe PUSD could give me $11,000 to figure this out. It won’t be a conflict of interest or anything.

**

The Real Zajac has a beautiful article up over at Foothill Cities about a hot topic in the blogosphere as of late: racism. Zajac discusses how - although it’s stupid to be a racist, we shouldn’t be trying to ban a line of thinking because, hey, like or not - that’s pretty “1984″-esque (I didn’t link “1984″ because if you don’t know the book, get the fuck off of my blog. Is that being book-ist?). Miss Havisham also chimes in with a powerful and personal story.

The word racism gets thrown around an awful lot in the Crown City. People who make fun of Muir are apparently racist. People who don’t want to develop homes in an area prone to being blighted are apparently racist. People who don’t like Indian food are racist, apparently. Some of our City Council members and other officials are apparently racist.

Hoge: Likes to use the “r” word

I recently read (and was inspired by) an article by Edwin Decker at the San Diego City Beat. I know I’ve mentioned this particular article before but he has a really, really good point that a lot of people in their high and mighty soapboxes forget: Isn’t everyone a little racist or intolerant of something or someone?

I sure know I am. So, for those of enemies who wish to use this as fodder against me..or for those of you who want to simply be amused - here’s a small excerpt of things/people/places I’m possibly racist or intolerant against:

• White people who treat me differently after they find out my father is black and I’m not 100% white
• Greenpeace.
• Stoners and drug addicts.
• Companies that don’t do drug testing.
• Kids with 20 piercings and 50 million tattoos who wonder why they can’t get a decent job.
• Goth kids who charge a higher cover charge if you’re not in “Goth attire” to their shitty little clubs with crap bartenders and slutty women that nobody wants to go to anyway..so be happy I’m fucking paying even $10 to get into your hole in the wall, you pathetic slags.
• Goth kids.
• Surfers. They’re not so tough. Oooooh they beat up the paparazzi. So what? Larry Wilson’s a surfer, apparently. Says a lot right there.
• Charities who stand outside of the 99 Cents Store and ask you for money. I’m shopping at the fucking 99 Cents Store..do you think I have any money?!
• For English, Press 1.
• “Sex In The City“, “Lipstick Jungle“, “Real Housewives of…“, “Desperate Housewives“, the WNBA, “How I Met Your Mother” and “American Idol“
• Armenian guys who tell you their name is Kevin but it’s really Kevork or something.
• And the Armenians in North Pasadena Heights who key cars of whites/blacks in “their” neighborhood and stole my girlfriend’s antenna ball.
• Black people who treat me differently after they find out my father is black (whether they’re nicer to me or not, it’s just not cool..treat me like a fucking human being..)
• Skinny blonde bitches in Paris Hilton sunglasses who still talk with a Valley Girl accent
• Skinny blonde bitches
• Gay guys who get drunk and make out with chicks and grab their boobs and then pass it off for the alcohol and not just being bisexual or a whore. You hear me, Lance????
• Chicks who get drunk and make out with chicks… Wait, no, I actually don’t mind that.
• Lakers, Dodgers, Raiders, Cowboys fans. You know what I’m talking about.
• People who make fun of you for not driving - until gas hit $4.00/gallon.
• Starbucks and all places like Starbucks. Gimme some gas station coffee, I’m fine.
• Latinos who say “Viva La Raza”. Dude, it would be like a white guy saying “White power”.
• “Business casual”. Unless you’re lifting boxes or working in a warehouse or somewhere where you get dirty a lot, we all should have to wear suits to our office jobs.
• Alhambra.
• Any race or nationality or ethnicity (including White people) living in the US in 2008 who says racism is bad but then only hang out with, converse with, deal with, date, etc. the people only from their race/nationality/ethnicity.
• San Francisco.
• Hollywood is starting to get on my nerves, too.
• Most of the Midwest and Southern U.S….and Arizona….and Oregon…and Delaware..and all the other states except California or Pennsylvania. Anyone not on that list is “ok”. Las Vegas is an exception. Maryland’s ok.
• 60-year-old hippie ladies that come to work, don’t do any work, pretend they are your supervisor, regale you with boring stories about doing drugs and going to see The Doors and all of that “Can Do 1960’s Attutide”, work from 12 noon to 9:45 p.m. and then you come in the next morning and find out they didn’t do any work and have to finish what they did, hide work from you so that they can “stay late” and then complain when you’re reading a newspaper for a few minutes, talking to your co-worker about sports or music, or go out for a smoke break - and they have somehow worked there for 3 years without reprimand.
• People who bum cigarettes when they don’t have any but then are stingy with their cigarettes when they do.
• Tori Amos fans. Why are they always crazy bitches who slit their wrists? Seriously. Name one hardcore Tori Amos fan you know that isn’t crazy. If she owns a couple CD’s, she’s not a hardcore Tori Amos fan.

I’ll start watching when a chick dunks…

Oh yeah - and illegal immigrants. Big time on that one.

Immigrants, I’m fine with. If you came to this country LEGALLY and passed a citizenship test and all that jazz..rock on…welcome to America…unless your family were Native Americans or taken over here by ships from Africa, your family also likely came through Ellis Island or somethin’ like that. Yay.

People jumping over borders and just slipping into the US, I’m *not* fine with.

Let’s face facts: Canadians aren’t jumping over the borders to take advantage of our liberal welfare system which helps people who are drug addicts and also helps people who aren’t even citizens but can’t help an actual American dude like me who falls down on his luck. So, I don’t think it’s racist to point out that it’s the Mexicans who are the main part of the illegal immigration problem.

Illegal immigrants come here with their hands already out. Illegal immigrants come here and expect US to suddenly learn Spanish. They complain about our schools and our public services and things not catering to them…well….guess what? You’re not a fucking American. We shouldn’t cater to you if you are an illegal. They come here and - yeah, some of them do “the jobs nobody else wants to do” but some of them also commit crimes and help out their families in Mexico. The US isn’t some kind of developmental territory to make Mexico a better place, I’m sorry.

Then, we try to vote against giving them any benefits here…the vote passes..and our Supreme Court overturns the vote.

Pisses me off.

Guess that’s somehow racist though - racist that I want to protect our country’s security and that I don’t want people to get a free pass in life..because I never did.

People always want to have a “dialogue” or a “talk” about race… I’d sure love to engage in one. I think talking about race makes some people feel more uncomfortable than ever (but not me!). Especially if you’re white - or perceived to be white, that is. The point is - racism sucks, racism happens, racism is still apparent. You’re doing a counterproductive thing, though, when you throw the word around too much and on too many things. I’m not trying to get people to sing “Love One Another Right Now” or anything - but - we sure do have to lighten the fuck up a little bit. That’s all I’m sayin’…I think people should be more honest and say what’s really on their minds. We’d probably learn that everyone’s a little intolerant of someone or something..and that there’s many exceptions to the things they’re intolerant of…I know there’s quite a few to things I’ve listed.
**

Sid Tyler wants you to conserve water and will seriously hurt you if you don’t read this week’s Sid Tyler Facts:

• Sid Tyler can get blackjack with just one card.
• If you watch City Council meetings on an HD TV, Sid Tyler can actually reach into your living room and punch you in the face.
• Sid Tyler hates rich people. And he’s rich. And he also hates irony.
• Sid Tyler can split the atom. With his bare hands.
• Sid Tyler’s battle cry is “Bingo!”
• Sid Tyler once bench-pressed the state of Ohio - and all of its residents.
• What’s black and white and red all over? Sid Tyler’s newspaper after the paperboy talked some trash.
• Sid Tyler can walk, chew gum, and kick ass all at the same time.
• After Monday’s meeting, Margaret McAustin can’t stop staring at Sid Tyler.
• Sid Tyler makes onions cry.

Shiiiiit (is that racist, Virginia?)

- AP

Letters…we get letters…we get stacks and stacks of letters……

Feedback is always appreciated from the fans and readers of this blog. Once in a while, though, The Proc gets something so totally hilarious - I just have to post it. Take for instance, this fellow, who e-mailed me under the name Donald Head from the e-mail address victory_music51@hotmail.com:

Yo’ your a faget biatch, badmouthing graff and shit, i hope someone lays the verbal smack down in your verbal oraphice bitch, seriously, your so cool bud, most electrifyingly gay man i’ve ever heard of. Go die please

IP: 75.155.19.244

It took me like 20 minutes to figure out what this gentleman was painting with his beautiful word picture. Then, I realized I had just bought my brand new PUSD English-To-English Translator, on sale from Steve Lizardo for just 3 installments of $19.95:

You are incorrigible with the condescending way you speak of graffiti. My fellow colleagues and I feel that it is an art form. I hope someone could debate with you the merits of the urban graffiti phenomenon.

Someone didn’t like me talking shit about graffiti. I think I’ve got something to cure that. Take two of these and call me in the morning:

I’m surprised the dude used e-mail instead of tagging a dumpster with his feelings. It’s one thing to come on The Proc’s show and insult the Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena - but - Jesus Christ - this is the most laughable “threatening e-mail” I’ve seen in a while. I’m sorry that I “badmouthed” graffiti. What I meant to say was: Only faggers are taggers.
**

According to “Mr. Thursday Morning” Andre Coleman in this week’s PW, obstetricians and gynecologists are big fans of Fat Tony. So, I guess that mean’s his next opponent, my buddy Brian Fuller, has no shot, right?

Wrong.

Star Wars Characters Love Brian Fuller!

**

As you all read, Steve Madison once again didn’t show up for a meeting on Monday. And as you may or may not read in the PW, it was kinda important for him to be there. The Ad Hoc Committee on Youth Violence or whatever it’s called this week was disbanded to be replaced with a three-member “Youth, Families, and Neighborhoods Committee”. I’m laughing at that name right now because it seems a little too inclusive. At least Young Jacque is finally chairing somethin’.

Why El Pollo Gordo didn’t want to serve on the new committee is one question - I’ll just assume he’s still getting heat from Madison for the whole absence thing and they aren’t buddies any more. Maybe Victor is trying to focus on his upcoming reelection campaign and how to not barely lose to a candidate who doesn’t speak English?

They’re looking for a third member and nobody’s really jumping all over each other to be the third member. Why not just make the entire committee Sid Tyler? He’s three times the man, any way. Or how about a tag team of Haderlein & Tyler? We could call them “Vicious & Delicious”?

I think I might know who the third man is.

People should listen to me more often. Photo by Frank Girardot.

Whatever the dealy-o is, I’m sure everyone really thinks this new committee is real important and is going to do a lot of work. Heh. Or maybe people just realize how vague this new committee’s name is? I mean, if it focuses on families, can one come to the committee for some help when they get grounded? Maybe the whole thing is just created for Madison to showcase some brand new garish ties?
We’ll find out what happens the next time some kid gets capped and the committee is “all over the issue”. Until then, posture away for 2009 and 2011, gentlemen.

Take a shot whenever a bullshit committee is formed.

**

I’m probably the last person to check in about this whole thing - but the story about 9th Circuit Judge Alex Kozinski here in Pasadena is hilarious. The trial he’s on is being suspended because he’s got his own website full of bestiality pics and other crazy shit that would make my old roommate blush.

Something this AP will tell you that the other AP won’t is that he’s actually working on a new porno film called “Activist Judges“. He’s in a three way donkey fellatio scene fucking Sandra Day O’Connor while a posthumous William Rehnquist watches.

I’m sure this judge will simply be given $5 million to leave town. Where’s McAustin and Haderlein during all of this?

**

June 11th was a record breaking day here at proctorformayor.com. The record for most hits and pageviews in a day was shattered - one that had been in place since June 25, 2007 - the day Chris Benoit decided to put a permanent Crippler Crossface on himself and his entire family. Thanks to everyone who came to the site and to everyone who reads the bullshit I put on here everyday.
**

Edwin Decker knows what the hell he’s talking about down at the San Diego City Beat. In his article, “The Good Bigot” he channels Avenue Q (Larry Wilson’s second favorite musical) and talks about how everyone’s just a little bit racist or prejudiced. Hell, even I’m a “patriotic love-it-or-leave-it” guy and I agree with what he’s talking about: isn’t everybody intolerant of something?

I mean, it would be nice if we could all stand in a circle, sing something from the 60’s, and join together - but that’s not the case. No way am I going to hold hands with some dude who looks like Jerry Only from the Misfits.

**

I bet you thought I forgot - but I always save the eggs for last. This week’s Ham And Egger Award takes a little bit of a different (but not too surprising) approach.

I’m a forward-thinker, I think ahead. Some people call that being an alarmist, I call it being a visionary. With that said, I’m giving out a pre-emptive award this week, of sorts.

Your lucky winner, who will probably receive this on his first or second day of the job - is brand new Pasadena political reporter for the Pasadena Star-News, Earl Abdenschieb.

Congrats, Earl!

McCain may have called his wife a “cunt” according to a new book. That just makes me want to vote for him all the more.

Be seeing you,

- AP

You know, and I’ve said this before, I really miss the Saturday mornings I grew up with.  A few hours of cartoons leading into a ton of hours of pro-wrestling from all over the US.

Luckily, YouTube (a subsidiary of Google) has a lot of full episodes of some of my favorite 80’s cartoons.  Thank God (also a subsidiary of Google).

I’m not a fan of the new cartoons out there for kids.  They’re so spoiled with their damn computer animation and blocks and blocks of cable channels devoted to just cartoons.  There’s one new show I just am excited about seeing, though.

Super Pasadena Friends!
Check out the video at this link.

…and don’t forget to check out some of the new rules in the City Council Drinking Game.

- AP

I was having some fun the other day, so I mailed this stick figure drawing to Mayor Bill Bogaard:

The bubble reads “I don’t think this is too appropriate, Mr. Proctor” 

A few days later, I got this reply from the Man Himself (and yes, it was actually from the Mayor and not one of his assistants). I don’t think he liked the drawing too much:

**

I don’t know if a lot of you are aware of this but our favorite District 6 Councilman, Steve “Maserati” Madison is apparently going to be phoning in to City Council meetings for the next month or two because he’s going to be out of town for business-related purposes (not Pasadena-related purposes).

Steve, whose absence from the big smoking meeting was really suspect, phoned in to this past Monday’s game of grab ass between PUSD and the Council. According to Victor Gordo, he’s going to be doing this for quite some time and, again according to El Pollo Gordo, it totally counts as if Steve were in the room with his stupid lavender ties and boxes he brings from his law firm.

Am I the only person who has a problem with this? Sure it helps that I don’t like Madison, like, at all - but still - I mean…in the words of “Arrested Development’s” G.O.B. Bluth: “COME ON!”

Steve is going to be away apparently on some type of assignment or case or cocaine run or whatever for his law firm, Quinn Emanuel. I know the guy has kids and an ex-wife to feed and that “paltry” $1200 a month stipend he gets for being a Councilman isn’t enough..but seriously? Madison was a former Federal Prosuector. Dude also got like $6 million in some case against Occidental College. He doesn’t have money piled up for emergencies or anything? (save for buying a Maserati, of course).

Gordo said that if we didn’t let people work full-time, we’d only be electing rich, old retired people (like Tyler & Bogaard) to Council. I guess Gordo forgets that there’s working people who run for office, too. Like me. Give me $1200 a month and watch that shit stretch. I don’t even think I make $1200 a month now.

I’m not knocking the guy for being successful - I think people in this country are often penalized too harshly for being successful. But being successful also doesn’t mean you have to be a dick. Madison’s priorities are obviously this: 1. Steve Madison, 2. Pasadena. I’m sorry, but the second you take that oath of office, your #1 priority is your District and your Community. I don’t care what kind of fancy-schmancy lawyer you are. You don’t have time to serve the community? You just want to literally “phone it in” every Monday? Then don’t be a fucking Councilman.

I don’t think phone-ins to City Council should count as being there. I mean, imagine the shit Jacque Robinson would be getting if she was calling in from home every week while eating a bowl of cereal in her She-Ra pajamas, watching “McMillian & Wife” on mute. Imagine i