The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

The Star-Spangled Banner

O! say can you see by the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming.
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: ‘In God is our trust.’
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Happy 4th of July! America’s birthday! My favorite holiday - after all, I’m from where it all began. Let’s celebrate the greatest country in the world..a country that allows me (and others) the right to make an ass out of myself day in and day out. U-S-A! U-S-A! I’ll be celebrating with Kelli tonight - checking out the amazing Rose Bowl fireworks - the largest fireworks display in Southern California. It’s no Penn’s Landing, but it’s pretty damn close.

Now I was in a good, uber-patriotic mood this morning. Until I saw the cover of the LA City Beat - a paper published by Southland Publishing (also owner of the PW but NOT affiliated with this website and vice versa). I’m not posting the picture of the cover here because it’s absolutely disgusting, disgraceful, saddening, and extremely Anti-American.

I’ve been harboring contempt for City Beat for quite some time. Every week it’s more and more hipster America-bashing - particularly by someone who calls themslves “Commie Girl” and thinks that’s cool or something. It’s so fucking “cool” to hate on America these days - yet these people would be missing it quite quickly if they moved to Canada or the UK or wherever. I guess those tattooed and pierced dregs of society they’ve got over there are grasping at straws while trying to figure out how to make people care about them like people care about the LA Weekly (not that I care about that paper, either - actually I think most people read the LA Weekly to get $5 off of nightclub covers).

I’m sick and tired of people like her - she’s actually the FUCKING EDITOR OF THE NEWSPAPER. I’m sick and tired of people thinking that just because you love America, just because you’re happy to live in a country with its many positives (and many follies), you’re some beer-swilling redneck who watches NASCAR. I love America and I’m proud to live here and I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to admit that. I don’t think someone should be admitting they love the country they’re in. There’s NOTHING WRONG with being patriotic.

Even some hot people hate America…

This chick should be happy she lives in a country which allows her the freedom to criticize our country and to bash it day in and day out. Instead, she proudly calls herself the same title that a freedom-less country like China calls itself: a Commie. What a horrible thing to do on the 4th of July - the day that our country began its great journey to allow you to print such trite and insignificant crap each week. Thankfully, the Constitution also allows me to berate your horrible excuse for a column and opinion into the next century.

Rebecca Schoenkopf (sounds like a Nazi last name to me..) - you get a special July 4th Ham And Egger Award. It’s what our forefathers would have wanted. I’m ashamed to even be loosely connected to you through work. I wish I could give you a one-way ticket to China or Cuba, since you pride yourself on the whole Communist thing. I’m sure you’ll be staring at the fireworks from wherever you are, drinking a beer, and having a good time….trying to make us all think you’ll be staying indoors, hating the country which allows you the freedoms to write like the Anti-American that you are, smoking some marijuana while in your Che Guevara t-shirt, watching “Loose Change“, and blaring “music” from Rage Against The Machine. Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.
I also e-mailed her and you can do the same at this link:

This week’s CityBeat cover is disgusting, saddening, and offends me as an
American.

Why is it so horrible to love America any more?

- Aaron Proctor
Pasadena, CA
http://www.proctorformayor.com

By the way - if you were looking to increase readership with a half-assed-Photoshopped cover used for “shock value”, it was a pretty counterproductive effort. All you did was further the hipster America-hating - the embarrassing portrait of what everyone else thinks all Californians think and act like. You may have gained a few readers of that worthless and rebellious ilk - but you certainly lost one here (not that I ever really read your paper, more like glance through it and laugh because it’s probably put together by hipster white people who have dreadlocks and don’t shower for 3 days straight. Obama in `08, right?). Hating on America might be all the Hollywood rage but - to me - when you verbally and visually spit on our Nation, you’re spitting on me. You’re no worse than the terrorists you’re defending.

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Well, some Communist bitch isn’t going to ruin my 4th of July. Here’s a brand new Top Ten List:

TOP TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT AMERICA

10. Disneyland

9. Conservative talk radio

8. Politics

7. The National Anthem
6. Burger King
5. The “George Washington Bridge” song
4. John Philip Sousa
3. Baseball
2. Professional wrestling
1. Freedom

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Pasadena PIO Ann Erdman recently posted a photo of Pasadena Star-News reporter and blogger, Dan Abendschein:

I swear - if you give this guy a cigar and put on his sunglasses and more of a tan - he’d be:

Armando Alejandro Estrada!

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I’ve always found this picture hilarious. It’s been floating around the Interwebs for years. It’s a picture of ABC 7’s Marc Brown talking about a rape suspect. Notice the sketch in the corner, though:

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I like to send drawings to Mayor Bogaard. I think it annoys him. It cracks me up, though. Here’s my latest:

Be seeing you and Happy 4th! Now go enjoy Dusty Rhodes vs. Steve Corino from the good days of ECW.

- AP

Congratulations to CM Punk. This guy became the WWE World Champion last night on what was an unusually amazing episode of Monday Night RAW. Not only did CM Punk work his way up from the independent ranks to do this (and became quite the fan favorite) - he’s a great guy to be representing WWE at the moment. You see, CM Punk - in real life and in character - is “Straight Edge”. No drugs, no cigarettes, no alcohol, nothing. Now, I’m not down with the no cigarettes/no alcohol/no sex before marriage lifestyle (actually I think being “Straight Edge” is pretty lame) - but with all the steroids shit going on in the WWE and other sports/entertainment, there’s nobody better to represent the company.

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The Proc has been analyzing District 2 City Councilmember Paul Little’s recent blog entry lately:

Council passed the annual operating budget last Monday night. Mostly, from what I can see the budget is appropriate.

I do have one serious concern: they added nearly $4 million more to the city’s General Fund reserve. Ok. Reserves help with stability, and generally I don’t have an issue with a healthy reserve. BUT, Pasadena already has a very healthy General Fund reserve. So healthy, the city recently earned a AAA bond rating.

Here’s my gripe, when they were campaigning for passage of Measure D, which I supported, the Mayor, former city manager, current interim city manager and the Council said they faced an emergency if the Utility User Tax wasn’t extended. BUT, now that the have the UUT in place, the city leaders are taking cash and putting it in their own reserve funds. NOT using it for services. NOT using it for constituent support. NOT using it for anything at all. If there was an emergency in February and it no longer exists, it seems to me only fair that, rather than line the city’s bank account, the appropriate action would have been to rebate that $3.7 million to the folks who pay the Utility User Tax.

As for the argument that other cityies have higher reserves — those cities don;t enjoy a AAA bond rating. They also don;t have a utility company that generates mass quantities of money on a daily basis and that carries both a reserve and a working capital reserve valued together at more than 15% of the General Fund budget. Oh, and let’s not forget the Capital Projects Reserve and a host of other funds carrying balances to hedge against lost revenue or emergencies.

So, I have take my hat off to Martin Truitt and Wayne Lusvardi, who apparently were prescient when they said that the city didn’t have an emergency, didn’t need the UUT renewal and that city leadership was only going to fatten its own wallet with the money.

In times of economic stress, I do find it difficult to accept a city government that increases its own reserves rather than do what it can to relieve the stress on its citizens and businesses.

Well, duh. Measure D was such a fucking crock - but hardly anyone listened, did they? Paul Little’s entry is great and all - but I’m still wondering - why did he exactly support Measure D in the first place? Why didn’t he do his own research? He would have come to the same conclusion that Truitt and Lusvardi did. Right? Why all of the 20/20 hindsight now, Paul? You’re a big voice in this City, a lot of us tend to listen when you speak - why didn’t you take the time to see how big of a hornswoggle Measure D really was?

Speaking of being bamboozled - according to Rene Amy - the PUSD is proposing a $350,000,000.00 (yes that’s $350 million) bond measure to go on November’s ballot. And if that doesn’t outrage you - maybe Rene’s description should:

…folks may not actually realize that bonds are like a mortgage
that all property owners in the district must pay back through increases
in their yearly property taxes.

Such bonds are typically paid back over 30 year.

We’ve still got about 20 years left on paying the mortgage on Measure Y.

So, this next bond would be like a second mortgage - with extra added
payments due year in and year out….

Oh, what the fuck. $350 million? In Steve Haderlein math, that’s 70 Peppermint Gardens. (Take a shot). So, PUSD is going to try to be all cool and sneak this bond measure on the ballot with, ya know, the biggest Presidential election ever - and have people just blindly vote “yes” on it because they’re skipping everything else to go vote for the President.

Are they insane!? If we’re still paying money back on Measure Y - which I still have yet to see numbers supporting what exactly, if anything, Measure Y solved - are we, as citizens, going to shell out another $350 million so the geniuses at PUSD can bring gangsta rappers to show kids the way or pay Virginia Hoge more money to stroke their academic cocks?

Of course - I’m sure the same people who supported Measure D will tell us what a good idea this is. Then, a few months later, one of their main supporters will come out and tell us that they were basically a shill and that this bond measure is faker than most women’s tits out here.

Crimeny. Is there anyone with a brain left!?

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Bloggers picnic photo. Courtesy WCGB:

Front row: The 99 Cent Chef, Pasadena Daily Photo, Ed Padgett.

Middle: Miss Havisham, Irina.

Standing in the back: Monrovia City Watch, WCGB, the cool dude Adam who hangs out with Brian Fuller, Kelli with an i, Ann Erdman, Susan Kitchens (who got me blogging in the first place).

The taller guys in the very back: Brian Fuller, Aaron Proctor, a space for Centinel, Frazgo.

Not pictured: The Sky Is Big In Pasadena, Alex Zucco (an FC Contributor), The Real Zajac

There’s also more coverage by Frazgo here on Metroblogging LA. Apparently that post was linked on MSNBC the other day - explaining another day of ridiculous web traffic for me.

Another group photo - by Frazgo

The pic is of the bloggers who willingly wanted to be shown on the net. That is the lovely Miss Havisham sitting on FCBlog co-owner, Centinel’s shoulder. To the right is equally invisible owner Publius. Invisible because no one knows who they are including those of us invited to post there know who they really are.

Speaking of bloggers - I found a really rockin’ blog out in Burbank called Valley of The Shadow. Thanks for the kind words!

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We’re down to the #2 spot on my list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena. Let’s go over what we’ve learned so far:

#10 gets crazy with Virginia Hoge.

#9 is straight outta North Pasadena with Joe Hopkins.

#8 wants money but won’t let you buy them lunch. The homeless of Pasadena.

There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright - Larry Wilson (#7)

#6 was too busy watching MTV to go out and vote on Election Day

#5 - Peter Dreier, whose beard is full of bong resin and potato chips

#4 makes me sick.

#3 kept me on hold for 72 minutes and transferred me 6 times.

And now……#2 on the list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena. This next entry might not be a shock to most of you - the position on the list just might be a surprise, though:

Councilmember Steve “Maserati” Madison!

Ric Flair has Sting. Superman has Lex Luthor. Bugs Bunny has Elmer Fudd. Virginia Hoge has common sense. Everyone’s got their rival, their enemy, their arch-nemesis.

My arch-nemesis and product of all my polemics happens to have been a Councilmember for like the past 12 years now. His name is Steve Madison, he drives a Maserati, and he’s kind of a douchebag. I think, for the first time ever, other people in Pasadena are starting to see this as well.

It all began a long, long time ago in a land far, far away during the 2007 Election. Back when I was an eyeliner-wearing Goth kid who supported rent control running for Mizayor. Toward the end of the race, there was a debate over at the Neighborhood Church. Kelli and I arrived a little late and she accidentally went into the door for candidates with me. (It was a separate door from the spectators).

Unbeknownst to me at the time, Madison turned to Kells Bells and yelled at her “THIS DOOR IS FOR CANDIDATES ONLY!!!!!!!!!” Kelli was furious and snapped back with a comment explaining how she was with the Mayoral candidate.

Madison and I tried to bury the hatchet once or twice but all it ended up being was a dissertation from him about how I’m being “brainwashed” by the “right-wing” of Pasadena. Or how he didn’t like that I called his 20-something girlfriend a stripper because she looks like one. I guess he didn’t realize that I can think for myself and make my own choices and it was actually guys like him and Bogaard and stuff trying to exploit me for the benefit of Liberals. Oh - and I forgot to mention - I once sent him an Aaron Proctor pin as a peace offering - and he mailed it back to me.

So, the Sock on Madison campaign kind of started from all of that and never looked back. Here’s the real problem I have with Madison - he’s not an informed guy, he doesn’t really know what’s going on in Pasadena nor does he care because he puts his job before his constituents. He thinks of City Council as more of a playground than an actual important entity.

Last week at City Council, he had the audacity to make a joke about the electricity bill when Iron Maggie was just trying to figure out what she was actually voting on. A few weeks before that, he sent his henchman, Victor Gordo, out to try and make me apologize to Madison for claiming he was going to miss a month or so of City Council (after Gordo had sort of told me that’s what was going on). Madison can’t fight his own battles, claims he doesn’t read this website, and sends Moose from Riverdale after me.

So - after all of this - I think that definitely qualifies Madison to be on this list. When you’ve been elected to serve the people and blatantly disregard serving the people, you’re messing up the Crown City. Hopefully someone grows some balls and runs against him in 2011. That person would be my hero.

Wonder who’s gonna be #1 on this list? We’ll find out soon.
**

Better watch out..cause Sid’s a war machine…

It’s time for this week’s Sid Tyler Facts:

• When Sid Tyler wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
• The Monrovia Police originally thought someone had Sid Tyler in their trunk.
• Sid Tyler has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.
• Sid Tyler walked out of church when they were talking about the Rapture. He was overheard muttering “That’s not how I’m going to do it…”
• The Kama Sutra was originally known as “The Diary Of Sid Tyler”
• The real reason PBS has pledge drives is so they can hire protection from Sid Tyler. He’s not a fan of Upstairs, Downstairs.
• Sid Tyler uses staples as hair gel.
• Despite Sid Tyler’s rage, he is still just a Councilman in a cage.
• When in Rome, do what Sid Tyler does. Kill.
• Sid Tyler’s belly button is actually a power outlet.

Be seeing you,

- AP

Over at Ann Erdman’s blog, she has pics of a ceremony at the Pasadena Convention Center construction site. Included are tons of pictures of city dignitaries (sans The Proc) putting their tag on the final steel girder. Call the graffiti hotline at (626) 744-7622.

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There’s an article by Mr. Thursday Morning Andre Coleman in this week’s PW about how PUSD is going to have a tough time (as of right now) pulling the wool over people’s eyes when asking the voters to approve a new bond measure or parcel tax. I think some of us forgetting that people who are going out and voting blindly this November (trust me - there’s a lot of them here in Pasadena) might vote yes blindly on this tax/bond. PUSD knows this and is taking full advantage.

Of course, Barry Gordon was quoted in the article - who I’m sure was “randomly” selected to take part in the phone survey about the dealy-o. Right after they got off the phone with Ginny Hoge and Peter Dreier, I’m sure. Barry’s a nice guy - hey - he was the Nestle Quik bunny - and he’s also a guy who thinks taxes solve everything and throwing money at something not worth throwing money toward at the moment is going to make everything perfect in the world.

I happen to like to get my facts from Mary Dee Romney. It helps that she’s easy on the eyes and I don’t picture Donatello from the Ninja Turtles when she’s talking:

Thanks to Rene Amy for attending last Friday’s Facilities Master Plan Committee (FMPC) meeting when I had commitments to a family funeral.

I since have received accounts of Friday’s meeting.

All confirm what I reported earlier, i.e., that the FMPC is not a *real* committee but window-dressing for a push by Edwin Diaz, Stephen Brinkman and the PEF/BOE majority to hurriedly meet November ballot deadlines for additional new property assessments of $50 for every $100,000 of assessed value through a new General Obligation Bond (GOB) - approximately $500,000,000 in new indebtedness.

Any new assessments approved in November will be in “addition to” present debt service on Measure Y bond funding.

Recall that property owners still are paying $40.08/$100,000 for Measure Y
indebtedness ($240,000,000) - and will continue to pay until 2020.

[Note: Measure Y bond issues were refinanced in 2004 and 2005 yielding an
additional $5,125,000 and $9,635,000, respectively; along with Prop. 1A monies in the approximate amount of $30,000,000, Measure Y improvements have been funded at just over $284,000,000.]

What do Mr. Diaz, Mr. Brinkman and the PEF/BOE majority intend to do for public education with new bond money dedicated for facilities?

It is difficult to know.

Mr. Selinske asked Mr. Diaz during a recent BOE meeting how he planned to use any anticipated new tax monies.

Mr. Diaz rattled off a random “wish list” making it clear no plan/priorities had
been discussed for the spending of what could be half a *billion* dollars in
facilities funding paid by local property owners.

In the current economy, in a district with declining enrollment and excess
capacity with no clear demographic guidelines until the 2010 census, there are troubling clues as to how this money will be directed:

1) The FMPC will remain a window-dressing committee;

2) The district will need “appropriate facilities” at Muir for community
“alliances” and career/ technical academies;

3) Rose City Continuation School will need to build capacity (enrollment),
requiring that Oak Knoll students move to the Edison campus;

4) Health service partners (counseling/mental health) will require facility space at all three levels (elementary, middle and high schools) - including
administrative space;

5) Space will be required for after-school programs.

The above, apparently, are the programmatic justifications for a half-billion
dollar facilities bond to support local public *education.*

Of considerable concern due to the hurried push to meet November ballot deadlines (ballot arguments, translation, publication, etc.), is the staff imposition of equally hurried architectural site reviews and inventories for site project lists.

Mr. Brinkman has acknowledged that some site reviews were conducted by phone and by email.

With protests reportedly registered both from members of the FMPC and from the architects on the project that the November tax timeline is unreasonable, Mr. Diaz and Mr. Brinkman continue to march toward November with a “half-baked” work product.

Being new to Pasadena these two gentlemen apparently do not understand that local taxpayers too often have seen the PUSD’s chase for funds end in fallen souffles.

Again . . . Mr. Diaz, Mr. Brinkman and the PEF/BOE, in prematurely pushing a bond measure for the convenience of exploiting an uninformed electorate in November, will lose in trust what they hope to gain in funding.

Thanks to all who have shared their thoughts off-list on these matters!

Mary Dee

[NOTE: The BOE and senior staff have discussed at BOE workshop meetings that voters in general elections are less informed on local matters, the implication being that ignorant voters in a general election will be more inclined to support a school bond measure and thereby - by sheer numbers - overcome statistical unknowns revealed in surveys; therefore the big push by Mr. Diaz, Mr. Brinkman and the PEF/BOE majority for a *November* bond initiative.]

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So - let me get this straight. Miss Havisham reports about trash and ends up getting a citation of some kind - en Espanol, no less.

I’ve got a few problems with this.

1. Why is she being penalized for doing her civic duty?
2. Why are we wasting money printing things in Spanish? Seriously. You know how much money we’d save if we didn’t translate City documents? At least thousands, I’m sure. Stop coddling people and get them to learn English. The best way is if we stop printing shit in Spanish and whatever the fuck Tagalog is. I also notice a lot of people who claim they don’t speak English can speak it all right when they’re complaining about something. Ever see Public Comment at City Council?
3. ¿Por qué?
4. I called Miss H’s Councilman, Chris Holden about the matter and this is all he had to say.
5. It’s her fault that some assclown is dumping trash on her lawn?

Way to investigate, Pasadena. It’s obvious this is just another one of those cash register fines. You know, the kinds of fines where they can pull the lever anytime to generate even more money from us regular folk. If you want to run the city like a turnkey operation, open a damn car wash. Comprende?

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Time for another installment of everyone’s favorite morning comic strip, “You Can’t Fight City Hall!”

**

Nice article in the PW this week about Glendale’s proposed smoking ban. I find it funny that all over a place that considers itself “open-minded”, practically has decriminalized marijuana, lets two dudes marry each other, and harbors illegal immigrants can be so harsh and hardcore about smoking. I thought we were the “wacky, play by no rules” state. Nahhhh. Sometimes I wonder if the real reason why we’re banning smoking is because people are still pretty much “ok” with smoking cigarettes in the South and the Midwest and back East and we can’t be anything like those “anachronistic right-wing loonies.”

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I spoke with Iron Maggie on the phone Thursday morning. I congratulated her on what she said/did to Steve Madison on Monday. At first, I think she thought I was mocking her (with her trademark “Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrron!” - imagine Colonel Klink talking to Hogan) - and then I let her know that she’s the whole blogosphere’s (and by whole blogosphere, I mean The Proc) hero this week and to keep up the good work. She let me know she had a long day and she was just doing her job - but come on - Maserati Madison got OWNED. Ownership!!!!!! Ham and eggs in his face and all over the place! I think I’ve had wet dreams about that. Hopefully more Councilmembers follow suit. I am making everyone around the dais an offer they can’t refuse:

$2.50 if you throw a cup of water at him. Onward, Pasadena soldiers!

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What is up with June 25th? On June 25th, 2007 - I received the most hits in a one day ever. Partially due to the fact people were Googling for more info on the Chris Benoit thing. Then, that record was shattered on June 11th, 2008 - don’t know exactly why. Now - both records have been completely erased - this past Wednesday, June 25, 2008 is now the date I’ve received the highest amount of traffic. UPDATE: That record was beaten by about 10 hits yesterday, June 26th! Maybe I should stop counting??? Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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See you all at the picnic tomorrow!!!!! If you didn’t get an evite, let me know. Oh - and I think the Gold Line will end up going all the way to San Dimas. In 2052.

This chick’s a looker, huh? And she has a Russian accent.

And now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

- G.I. Joe, I mean…

- AP

Happy Wednesday! A year ago today, we all found out that Chris Benoit put a permanent Crippler Crossface on him and his family. Now, WWE has a “wellness policy” that everyone has to adhere to - except Triple H, a/k/a Vince McMahon’s son-in-law. What are they - Pasadena City Council??
By the way - Fuck Burbank.

A co-worker’s husband was recently fined $390.00 by the People’s Republic of Burbank (Pasadena’s cousin).

Was he speeding? No.

Was he causing a public disturbance? No.

Did he sock someone in the grill? No, but he should have.

He was fined for smoking. You know, the product that you can buy, the product that you can possess, but the product you soon won’t be able to ever use if you live in the state of California.

If I were him, I wouldn’t pay the ticket. I’d take that shit all the way to Supreme Court.

Remind me never, ever to spend money or time in that god-awful City. Not that I have a reason to - except there’s a Fry’s there. Oh - and some bitch I used to bang still lives there, I think. I guess I have all the reason more to hate on Burbank. Way to infringe on people’s personal freedoms. This is obvious that these smoking bans coming about in cities like our Crown City and Burbank and Glendale and the like are just another “feel good” way for the City to make money and thumb their noses at other cities in the US. We can be sooo French out here sometimes. Well, minus the smoking.

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Another graffiti “genius” e-mailed me. I’m so excited - I really wanted to feel like I was smarter than someone this morning. The e-mail is also on the heels of an excellent post by WCGB about her trip to a City Council meeting and all of the disgusting “artwork” she endured. This dude named Mike totally made my dreams come true:

Hey Aaron, I recently stumbled upon your “blog” or whatever while I was
searching graffiti on google. I saw what you wrote about graffiti and I would
just like to say that I love tagging buildings and other locations just to piss
people like you off. People that are ignorant and think all graffiti artists
are “stupid”. I bet you dont know one graffiti artist so how can you claim they
are all stupid. So open up your eyes before you judge everyone. Oh and if
people are scared to use public transportation because of words on the seats,
then they have more wrong with them then you would think.

IP: 209.162.32.171

mpd183@hotmail.com

First of all, you’re an idiot. I forwarded your e-mail to your ISP and let them know that you admitted to conducting illegal activities (IE: tagging). Don’t know how much good that will do, but just to let you know - when you “piss off people like me”, you’re pissing off The Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena. Not some “run of the mill” average Joe: I’m The Proc, mother fucker.

Second of all, I commend the way you “fight back against society” by tagging buildings just to “piss off people like me”. You know, the “people like me” who will be catching up with you and arresting you and throwing you in jail. Yeah, the people like me that have to pay taxes because another worthless asshole is sitting in a jail cell because he wanted to put some unintelligible chicken scratch on a liquor store.

What?

No - I don’t know one graffiti artist, because I hang out and surround myself with people who aren’t wastes of life. Ya know, people who matter in life - not people who are going to be in and out of jail, abusing government programs, and other things I just can’t stand about lifelong criminals. I don’t know a graffiti “artist” (more like a graffiti-tard), care to know one, care to surround myself with or “get to know” one. That would be like a crackhead saying to me “I bet you don’t know one crackhead! How can you judge us?”

You simply proved - just like your friend did - that we should be making fun of you idiots even more. Yeah, it’s called a blog that I write. And guess what? Maybe you could get one, too, instead of defacing buildings because it looks “cool”. Go deface Wikipedia or something - at least that’s something new and fun to do and is cheaper to erase than your piss-poor “art”. Blogs are the wave of the future. Graffiti is so stupid, so passe, and so…useless. Assclown.

Oh - and if you didn’t read this morning’s PSN:

PASADENA - Four juveniles, belonging to a local tagging crew, were arrested after tagging 26 different locations on Lake Avenue Monday night, officials said.

Police responded to a call about possible tagging around 11:55 p.m. on the 900 block of Lake Avenue and discovered four males, two of them with spray paint, according to Lt. Keith Jones of the Pasadena Police Department.

The four males admitted to tagging 26 locations down Lake Avenue between Elizabeth and Boylston streets, Jones said. They all belong to a local tagging crew, according to Jones.

The juveniles are all Latino and between the ages of 15 and 17, Jones said.

Don’t fuck with the Pasadena Way, son. The Proc says: Take that can of spray paint of yours. Shine it up realllll nice. Turn that som’bitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass. Do you smell what the Proc is cookin’?

*theme music*

**

Kelli and I are thinking about getting a cat sometime in the next hundred years. Kelli wants to get a female cat so I won’t be able to name the cat Steve Caterlein. She’s ok with Margaret Mcmeowmeow, though.

Speaking of the Council - anyone hear Bogaard call Ann Erdman the “Queen Of The Blogosphere”? If I were West Coast Grrlie, Miss Havisham, or Larry Wilson, I’d be pretty pissed right now. And since I’m the King of the Blogosphere - doesn’t that make Kelli the Queen?

As mentioned before - WCGB has posted some pics from her trip to City Council via the ARTS bus - including one of a trash can with lame-ass graffiti all over it. Then, I found this picture - it’s obvious that Madison fears McAustin:

I’m shocked and surprised that Maserati Man was there (I’m not shocked about his tan, though). Maybe the map I recently sent to the Mayor helped him out?

If you can’t make out my 5-year-old handwriting, it says “Help Steve Madison Get To The Meeting” followed by a super-easy maze that even a Muir student could solve. Oh, and, City Hall wasn’t meant to look like a penis.

Anyhoo - Dormitas has his excellent weekly blow-by-blow here. Paul Little makes an appearance at City Council and tells them how stupid an idea Measure D was. Duh. Can’t wait until the PUSD Board votes next week to put a parcel tax on November’s ballot and fuck us over even more. Seems like Council’s all for prison raping our wallets.

**

It’s time to reveal just who is next on the list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena:

#3 - Charter Communications

Charter is the only company that you’re allowed to get for cable television in Pasadena. We had a company called Champion for a cup of coffee last year - but the City of Pasadena didn’t like that too much.

It sucks, too - because Charter Communications are a bunch of idiots. Their customer service is quite subpar, they try to sneak charges onto your bill that you have to constantly call about, and you simply can’t complain and say I’ll change to someone else because they’ll laugh and remind you they’re the only game in town.

It’s obvious they’re in bed with the City Of Pasadena, who moves into a Socialist role by always being too cautious to let another cable provider in - in this case, AT&T’s “Uverse”. Pasadena City Council - you know, the people who make big deals out of nothing and little deals out of major shit - are taking forever and a day just to let AT&T in. Not sure if I’d switch right away - because I know people who switched to Champion and ended up having Charter again.

What kind of City wouldn’t allow fair competition? Well, obviously we don’t. It makes a lot of people unhappy - especially in an age where you pretty much need cable TV just to see anything at all going on in the world.

Charter’s sports packages are lackluster - why do I have a million fucking Fox College Sports networks? Why don’t I even get ESPN Deportes - at least they have really good soccer matches on there. Want the “Extended” packages? You don’t even get BBC America with that. I’ve missed like…the entire Torchwood series.
Now UVerse wants to put these boxes around town:

(Thanks to Dale Achdulieber for the pic)

Maybe Steve Madison is just intimidated by the black guy?
Hey Charter - thanks for ruining Pasadena.

**

Frank’s a cool dude

Finally: did you know that yesterday was apparently National Columnist’s Day? Where the fuck was my cake? Well, one of my favorite columnists/reporters, Frank Girardot, has really been hitting a lot of home runs lately. Maybe my beloved Phillies should sign him to a one-day contract, considering they’ve lost 6 games in a fucking row.

Check out this column he wrote on Tuesday - it’s amazing:

Terrorism claimed the life of a 12-year-old and his father visiting Montebello this past weekend.

Yes. I said it. Terrorism.

How else do you describe an attack on a party of 70 or so people gathered in a back yard to celebrate a graduation.

Killed were Albert Garcia, 12, of Hemet, and his father Juan “Jay” Garcia, 44, of Perris. Two others were wounded in the attack including a 23-year-old woman and an unidentified man.
The 9:50 p.m. ambush occurred Saturday while friends of Maria Soto gathered at her home in the 100 block of East Madison.

Partygoers feasted on chicken wings, barbecued ribs, pasta salad, meatballs and chips and salsa.

There was a D.J. There was dancing. There was Bud Light. There was a cake acknowledging the high school graduation of Soto’s 20-year-old blind daughter, Rosemary.

It could have been any party anywhere in the San Gabriel Valley on a sweltering summer night.

“We were happy one minute and then it turned into a nightmare,” Soto said. “It was horrible.”

Soto pointed to a dark blood stain in the dirt next to a small rose bush in her back yard.

“You don’t know when it’s going to hit you,” she continued. “Please. When are they going to stop devastating our families and our children?”

Every day we send young men and young women off to foreign countries because we’re told they are keeping terrorism at bay.

Maybe we’re keeping Islamic extremists out of the United States. But what is our government doing about terrorism in our own back yard?

There are no daily briefings, no green zones, no troop surges. I haven’t heard presidential candidates Barack Obama or John McCain say a word about fighting local terrorist gangs.
Yet young men and women like Albert Garcia are being shot at — sometimes wounded and sometimes killed — by remorseless killers.

I strolled around the neighborhood where Garcia and his dad were gunned down. Graffiti marred the sidewalks.

“Free Clumsey,” read one.

Graffiti also marred street signs, garden walls and even the whitewashed wooden siding of Soto’s raised foundation house.

Just a few miles north, where San Gabriel Boulevard leads to the Montebello mall, taggers from Pico Viejo, White Fence and El Monte Flores have clearly marked their turf.

I asked Montebello police Chief Dan Weist if his community could stomach the slaying of an innocent 12-year-old. I asked if he thought there was a gang problem in his town.

“It’s not as bad as you say it is,” came the reply.

Mayor Bill Molinari said he was “sickened by an event that’s never happened in our history.”
As I watched heat waves rise from the asphalt on Madison Monday, I heard the chimes of an ice cream truck in the distance.

I listened as the driver turned onto Madison and passed me. A sign above the dash said “Caution. Children.”

The song continued.

“It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Well, I probably could have. But I didn’t feel like it. So, rock on, Frank.

Be seeing you,

- AP

Happy Wednesday!

If you’re feeling down and blue about the Lakers getting sexually assaulted last night 131-92 in the NBA Finals, don’t feel bad. Sit a spell and take some advice from a Philadelphia sports fan:

So, the Lakers haven’t won a championship in like…6 years…so what? Try not winning a championship in 25 years….in 28 years….or never. Think about how lucky you are to live in Los Angeles - beautiful weather, beautiful women all around, the beaches and the mountains in driving distance, swimming pools, movie stars - you catch my drift?

The Lakers didn’t win the championship. Boo hoo. At least being in Los Angeles, you have something to look forward to. We didn’t have that privilege in Philly. All we really had to look forward to was another season of the Phillies or the Eagles or the Sixers or the Flyers in last place or choking when they needed to be clutch.

Maybe if you Lakers fans supported your team when they were down in the dumps and not just in first place, maybe if you Lakers fans would fly those flags on your cars year round, I’d consider you passionate sports fans. Until then, most of you just further that typical L.A. “fake” stereotype. I say - be proud of what you did. Only 2 teams could reach the Finals this year and you were one of them.

For a city that gets on pretty well without a major NFL franchise, for a city that gets on pretty well for having 2 NBA franchises and pretending like it only has one - for a city that honestly has some of the most fair-weather, lackluster, apathetic, worst sports fans who leave games in the 7th inning in the entire country - I say hold you head high. Or, you can just put those Lakers flags away until they get past the first round of the playoffs next time.

(By the way, we Philadelphians have disowned Kobe Bryant like the Canadians disowned Alex Trebek)

**

The Ten People Ruining Pasadena list continues today with #4. Before that - let’s go through a run down of numbers 10 through 5, shall we?

#10 goes to the insane asylum with Virginia Hoge.

#9 drops it like it’s hot with Joe Hopkins.

#8 - Annoying Homeless People!

Larry Wilson lulls us to sleep at #7.

Put on your wool cap and American Apparel ‘Legalize LA’ t-shirt for #6: Hipsters.

Peter Dreier blames us all for #5.

*Drumroll* And now…#4:

Graffiti “artists”! (Picture courtesy of WCGB)

Yeah, everyone here pretty much knows how I feel about graffiti. It’s stupid, it’s not an art form - in fact, it’s pure vandalism. 99.9% of the time, the graffiti doesn’t make any god damned sense. I mean, look at the picture above. What the fuck is that? Maybe it’s some algebra homework from John Muir High School or someone was trying to calculate the strength of the Yen vs. the dollar?

Meh. This is called a “tag” and they’re purpotrated by “taggers“. It’s supposed to be “cool” and “hip” - but all it does is make people not want to build new things in neighborhoods where this is rampant, leaving people somehow confused as to why a business doesn’t want to come there. This kind of art is even celebrated in books by hipster white people who don’t live in the neighborhoods where tags are usually found (chalk that up for another on the list of ‘Stuff White People Like’).

Here in the Crown City, we have a hotline set up to report graffiti. It seems to work ok - but I wonder how we prevent this kind of stuff from happening? You can’t just put all graffiti artists in one group - I mean, they’re all stupid - but some of them are just stupid kids who don’t feel like going to the 99 cent store to get some markers and art supplies. Others are just gang members marking they’re territory like they’re a male cat - except male cats usually piss better patterns.

One thing’s for sure - I see this crap throughout Pasadena. Even in my hallowed District 4, I’ve been seeing newer graffiti everyday - now that it’s summertime and these kids don’t have anything else better to do.

Some cities try to set up graffiti walls and tell people that it’s ok to do that kind of shit in that particular area. Think about that Einstein knowledge for a second. Let’s set up a wall where people can do something illegal and it can be celebrated by all. I haven’t seen any statistics but I doubt these kind of walls really cut down on tagging. That would be like setting up an area of the city where it’s ok to break into cars or to beat people up…I mean, cities are setting these kinds of things up but they’re not setting up red light districts?

I think cities, ours in particular, should grow some balls and get more aggressive with graffiti. Get me on TV to do some PSAs (I’m really good at them) - and let me just proclaim my new slogan: “Taggers are faggers“. Doesn’t make too much sense, but after an e-mail I received from a tagger, neither do they:

Yo’ your a faget biatch, badmouthing graff and shit, i hope someone lays the verbal smack down in your verbal oraphice bitch, seriously, your so cool bud, most electrifyingly gay man i’ve ever heard of. Go die please

Stay tuned for #3 on my list of the Ten People Ruining Pasadena. Coming soon.

**

Why do moms get mad when I’m walking down the street in Old Town and I give lude and/or lascivious looks to their jail-bait daughter who happens to be wearing short short short short shorts with her tramp stamp above her ass hanging out? You’re the one who let them leave the house dressed that way. Hey, somebody’s gotta enjoy the view before she’s completely used up by the time she’s 20.

This actually goes for any hot woman - if you don’t want me leering at your cleavage or your hot ass, don’t wear stuff that shows off your cleavage or your hot ass. It’s pretty simple. You’re asking for it more than a contestant on Jeopardy.

**

Wow. Look at the hard-working guys at the Tribune (ya know, the people who are in bed with the Pasadena Star-News). I guess it’s easy to tell why the paper has come down so much….they’re too busy watching the end of the US Open:

Amazing. Just amazing. Look at all those reporters dawdling. I wonder if one of them is the brand new rookie Pasadena politics reporter Dave Aftershock? Probably not - I don’t know what he looks like but I hear he used to write for the LA City Beat, which means he has 70 face piercings and 52 tattoos. (Edit: I now hear he’s a clean-cut All-American guy)

This kinda nonsense is just uncalled for. It is, however, quite award winning:

Congrats, SGVT. You guys all get the Ham And Egger Award this week. Maybe you can all stand around it instead of doing actual work.

**

I didn’t know this day would be coming so soon. Our fair City Clerk, Jane Rodriguez is leaving City Hall. Her last day is July 25th. This kind of sucks. Who is going to sound extremely enthused when taking roll at City Council meetings? Who is going to remind me of Casey Novak on Law & Order SVU? Who, just who, is going to put up with my occasional visits to City Hall?

Good luck in your future whatever-it-is-you’ll-be-doing, Jane. She’s been over at City Hall for like 35 years (not a joke).

Jane also sent me in the right direction to some really cool info:

The Pasadena 2009 Elections Are Coming! YES!!! Local election fever will be arriving quite soon in Pasadena! Election 2009 coverage officially begins today here on The Proc’s show. Or - as they’re calling it in District 5:

There are races upcoming in other places, too. Not just District 5 - but District 3 and District 7 will be up for grabs, although I doubt anyone is going to try and run against Holden and Tyler (especially the latter, considering he literally eats his opponents for breakfast). Word on the street is there are one or two serious people who’d like to challenge Gordo’s seat - so, at this time and juncture, I’m going to be really focused on that contest.

We’ve also got Mike Babcock, Scott Phelps, Steve Lizardo, and Ed Honowitz’ PUSD Board of Education seats up for grabs.

The election is on March 10, 2009 with the run-off election scheduled for April 21.

Click on this link to find out more information if you’re interested in running or just interested in what’s going down.

Be seeing you,

- AP

Guess who wants MORE MONEY!? Mary Dee Romney warned me about this. Dormitas has already put in his beautiful two cents. Here’s the scoop from the PSN last week:

PASADENA - Voters in the Pasadena Unified School District slightly prefer a bond over a parcel tax to pay for campus improvements, according to recent surveys.

In two surveys conducted last month that sampled 500 voters, 61 percent said they would support a proposed $300 million bond measure.

By contrast, 60 percent of voters said they would go for a parcel tax.

PUSD school board members commissioned the survey as a way to gauge community support for either a bond measure or parcel tax on the November ballot.

A parcel tax would need a two-thirds majority to pass, while a bond measure would need 55 percent approval from voters.

Yep, PUSD wants more of our money in the form of another proposed tax that would head to the ballot in November - ya know, that big election where all kinds of idiots are going to come out of the woodwork to vote for Obama and just hit “Yes” on the parcel tax `cause it sounds good because they’re 18 years old and know nothing about politics. Why? Where would it be going, this time? Does someone in the PEF have a maid who needs a raise? Seriously? They just try to slip this shit in.

Much like others, I’d also like to know just who was surveyed? I’d also like to know who in their right mind would just throw their money away like this? Are these descendants of the people who funded the Titanic? You’re gonna get the same result.

I’m glad all of this has come up..because it’s time to reveal #5 on the list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena.

Peter Dreier.

He’s without a doubt making a mockery of our political system here in Pasadena, under the guise of “trying to help public schools” - and not admitting that he and others who have made this list (like Virginia Hoge) are furthering their own Socialist agendas upon the Crown City.

To guys like Dreier, everything is simple. The schools are failing? Give them more money.

How are we going to get more money? Let’s slip a parcel tax or bond measure onto the November ballot.

Who is going to pay for this? Everyone in Pasadena, even people who don’t have children or don’t send their kids to PUSD.

Why? Because the schools are failing because of Republicans and illegal immigrants (one of the most hilarious arguments that he’s actually made).

Oh - and go ahead and try to grill Peter about the PEF and if they’re really the ones in charge. He’ll lose his friggin’ mind (and, hopefully, will shave off that nasty beard).

Peter is your garden variety Pasadena uber-liberal. Elitist, secretly racist, and possessing actually no common sense. He fits right in at the #5 spot on my list of the Ten People Ruining Pasadena.

**

You know, being a local dignitary and local treasure isn’t all fun and games. Because of the status I hold in this community, I sometimes am required - by an unwritten rule in the Pasadena Way - to do public service related things. It’s my way of “giving back” to the community that made me The Most Electrifying Man in Pasadena.

I’ve always been a fan of public service announcements or PSAs. They really get the point across, especially because celebrities know everything and we don’t know anything. I seriously didn’t know cocaine was bad until Dennis Franz told me on one of those “The More You Know” commercials I saw when I was 10 or 11 years old.

So, I filmed some of my own Public Service Announcements over the weekend. Enjoy!

Here’s one about alcoholism.

Here’s another one about the Internet sex trade. (19 people in Pasadena should have seen this one)

And finally, why the public library opens worlds of imagination.

**

We’ve got a new blogger in town.  Pasadena’s Closet Conservative.  Not quite sure if this is a parody or if this blog is 100% real - but whatever the deal is, there’s some really good stuff over on that site.

Which reminds me - did you get your invite yet to the upcoming blogger get together on June 28th?  If not, simply drop me a line by clicking on “Contact” at the top of this site.  I’ll send the invitation to your e-mail address.

**
Let’s start the week off right with some Sid Tyler Facts:

• Sid Tyler uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
• The elephant is actually the second official logo of the GOP. The first logo was Sid Tyler with a kitten in his mouth.
• Sid Tyler once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “who has more testicles” contest.  Sid Tyler won.  By 5.
• Sid Tyler doesn’t believe in Germany.
• Sid Tyler does not own an oven nor a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Sid Tyler built Rome in one day.

Be seeing you,

- AP

Letters…we get letters…we get stacks and stacks of letters……

Feedback is always appreciated from the fans and readers of this blog. Once in a while, though, The Proc gets something so totally hilarious - I just have to post it. Take for instance, this fellow, who e-mailed me under the name Donald Head from the e-mail address victory_music51@hotmail.com:

Yo’ your a faget biatch, badmouthing graff and shit, i hope someone lays the verbal smack down in your verbal oraphice bitch, seriously, your so cool bud, most electrifyingly gay man i’ve ever heard of. Go die please

IP: 75.155.19.244

It took me like 20 minutes to figure out what this gentleman was painting with his beautiful word picture. Then, I realized I had just bought my brand new PUSD English-To-English Translator, on sale from Steve Lizardo for just 3 installments of $19.95:

You are incorrigible with the condescending way you speak of graffiti. My fellow colleagues and I feel that it is an art form. I hope someone could debate with you the merits of the urban graffiti phenomenon.

Someone didn’t like me talking shit about graffiti. I think I’ve got something to cure that. Take two of these and call me in the morning:

I’m surprised the dude used e-mail instead of tagging a dumpster with his feelings. It’s one thing to come on The Proc’s show and insult the Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena - but - Jesus Christ - this is the most laughable “threatening e-mail” I’ve seen in a while. I’m sorry that I “badmouthed” graffiti. What I meant to say was: Only faggers are taggers.
**

According to “Mr. Thursday Morning” Andre Coleman in this week’s PW, obstetricians and gynecologists are big fans of Fat Tony. So, I guess that mean’s his next opponent, my buddy Brian Fuller, has no shot, right?

Wrong.

Star Wars Characters Love Brian Fuller!

**

As you all read, Steve Madison once again didn’t show up for a meeting on Monday. And as you may or may not read in the PW, it was kinda important for him to be there. The Ad Hoc Committee on Youth Violence or whatever it’s called this week was disbanded to be replaced with a three-member “Youth, Families, and Neighborhoods Committee”. I’m laughing at that name right now because it seems a little too inclusive. At least Young Jacque is finally chairing somethin’.

Why El Pollo Gordo didn’t want to serve on the new committee is one question - I’ll just assume he’s still getting heat from Madison for the whole absence thing and they aren’t buddies any more. Maybe Victor is trying to focus on his upcoming reelection campaign and how to not barely lose to a candidate who doesn’t speak English?

They’re looking for a third member and nobody’s really jumping all over each other to be the third member. Why not just make the entire committee Sid Tyler? He’s three times the man, any way. Or how about a tag team of Haderlein & Tyler? We could call them “Vicious & Delicious”?

I think I might know who the third man is.

People should listen to me more often. Photo by Frank Girardot.

Whatever the dealy-o is, I’m sure everyone really thinks this new committee is real important and is going to do a lot of work. Heh. Or maybe people just realize how vague this new committee’s name is? I mean, if it focuses on families, can one come to the committee for some help when they get grounded? Maybe the whole thing is just created for Madison to showcase some brand new garish ties?
We’ll find out what happens the next time some kid gets capped and the committee is “all over the issue”. Until then, posture away for 2009 and 2011, gentlemen.

Take a shot whenever a bullshit committee is formed.

**

I’m probably the last person to check in about this whole thing - but the story about 9th Circuit Judge Alex Kozinski here in Pasadena is hilarious. The trial he’s on is being suspended because he’s got his own website full of bestiality pics and other crazy shit that would make my old roommate blush.

Something this AP will tell you that the other AP won’t is that he’s actually working on a new porno film called “Activist Judges“. He’s in a three way donkey fellatio scene fucking Sandra Day O’Connor while a posthumous William Rehnquist watches.

I’m sure this judge will simply be given $5 million to leave town. Where’s McAustin and Haderlein during all of this?

**

June 11th was a record breaking day here at proctorformayor.com. The record for most hits and pageviews in a day was shattered - one that had been in place since June 25, 2007 - the day Chris Benoit decided to put a permanent Crippler Crossface on himself and his entire family. Thanks to everyone who came to the site and to everyone who reads the bullshit I put on here everyday.
**

Edwin Decker knows what the hell he’s talking about down at the San Diego City Beat. In his article, “The Good Bigot” he channels Avenue Q (Larry Wilson’s second favorite musical) and talks about how everyone’s just a little bit racist or prejudiced. Hell, even I’m a “patriotic love-it-or-leave-it” guy and I agree with what he’s talking about: isn’t everybody intolerant of something?

I mean, it would be nice if we could all stand in a circle, sing something from the 60’s, and join together - but that’s not the case. No way am I going to hold hands with some dude who looks like Jerry Only from the Misfits.

**

I bet you thought I forgot - but I always save the eggs for last. This week’s Ham And Egger Award takes a little bit of a different (but not too surprising) approach.

I’m a forward-thinker, I think ahead. Some people call that being an alarmist, I call it being a visionary. With that said, I’m giving out a pre-emptive award this week, of sorts.

Your lucky winner, who will probably receive this on his first or second day of the job - is brand new Pasadena political reporter for the Pasadena Star-News, Earl Abdenschieb.

Congrats, Earl!

McCain may have called his wife a “cunt” according to a new book. That just makes me want to vote for him all the more.

Be seeing you,

- AP

Bye, Bye Ortega! Leftovers From City Hall reports on PSN’s Fred Ortega’s last day at this link. It looks like Jennifer McLain will take over West Covina reporting and some new guy named Don Edelweiss will be the newest Ham And Egger in Pasadena.

**

Time for another installment of my new comic strip, You Can’t Fight City Hall!

**

Kelly LC Russell is a writer. Kelly LC Russell is a grrlie. Kelly LC Russell likes to blather. Kelly LC Russell lives on the West Coast. So, it makes sense that she has a blog called West Coast Grrlie Blather. It’s not as much political as it is really, really good photography.

Let’s see what happens when this Pasadena photo-storian grapples with The Proc in the Aaron Proctor Interview Series:

The Proc: Why did Cynthia Kurtz steal your hairdo?

Kelly Russell: She wanted to be recognized in District 1.

The Proc: How do you think the blogosphere has impacted the local Pasadena political scene?

KR: Openness is good. Politicians and policy makers know we’re watching them, and we’re conversing with each other about what’s going on in a very public forum. Look at Paul Little—he left City Council and got a blog.

AP: What’s it like living in the Northwest?

KR: We always know where the tv remote control is, because we’re always turning the volume up to drown out the sound of helicopters. We don’t moan about it, we just do it.

AP: What’s the “LC” for?

KR: 150. I’m dyslexic.

AP: You’re originally from England. Should I call you a traitor?

KR: Nationalism is kitsch.

AP: Whitney Houston told me to ask you “How do I know if he really loves me”?

KR: Girlfriend, you know he really loves you if his name isn’t Bobby Brown.

AP: What do you think of Steve Madison?

KR: My Maserati does 186.

AP: What’s your favorite summertime activity?

KR: The Obon Festival at the Pasadena Buddhist Church. One bite of the teriyaki chicken reveals the entirety of the eightfold path.

AP: Thanks for that Doctor Who TARDIS piggy bank. Did you know that when I put money in it, it disappears into another time and dimension?

KR: Yes, and and I know that Sid Tyler can retrieve it.

AP: Is there such thing as East Coast Grrlie Blather?

KR: There is—after I knock back a few at the Algonquin Hotel.

**

Rock on, and thanks Kelly. You’ll go down in history with everyone from Bill Bogaard to Whazzat Kangaroo in the Aaron Proctor Interview Series.

**

Hulk Hogan is such a douchebag. It sucks, too. He was a hero of mine growing up (and a hero when Kelli was growing up, too). I mean, in a way, he saved the wrestling industry when it was down in the doldrums in the late 90’s by becoming a villain…one of the few things he ever did the right way. You know, I could deal with him thinking he was the wrestling business, I could deal with his lies about “inventing theme music” and “inventing t-shirts” - I could even deal with him being a dick to younger wrestlers and not realizing he was far past his prime. All of this stuff as of late with his son’s drag racing car crash (which ended up permanently paralyzing the other dude) and his affair with a girl that looks like a Dateline NBC decoy - it just proves a few things to me:

1. Hulkamania is dead as a doornail in my book.
2. Ric Flair was the wrestling business, not Hulk
3. All of the stories about him being a dick to other wrestlers, promoters, etc. - I now fully believe them.
4. He and his son are being outed for the fakes that they are.
5. I’m a little weirded out about his affair with the chick that looks like his daughter.

Did anyone see Hulk’s pathetic ass on Larry King the other night? I can’t believe he’s still going through with the whole reality show thing.

**

I went to John and Ken’s protest in Memorial Park yesterday afternoon. The whole reason for it was to show just how stupid State Senator Jack Scott’s idea to ban mylar balloons is. These guys are awesome and you should really listen to their show on KFI - they make a LOT of sense. A lot more sense than all the fucking pundits on any other shows I hear. I got a bunch of pics and videos I’d like to share with you:

I arrived at the park a little after 3 pm. There was a small crowd on hand which got quite larger as the 5 o’clock hour approached. The theme was “Jack Scott: SOB.” Obviously, SOB stood for “Save Our Balloons” - then I realized, he’s an SOB for being another California Liberal trying to take away yet another personal freedom. Funny how Democrats whine and cry about the children and then want to take something away from them.

John & Ken were set up in the park on the Raymond Street side.

Tables were set up by the balloon industry where you could sign petitions and get a free balloon to show your support.

This was GREAT - a balloon effigy of Jack Scott himself. Here’s another shot of that:

Free balloon animals for the kids by Buster Balloon and Annie Bannanie!

I *finally* met Frank Girardot in person. Such a cool guy!

A member of the Balloon Council (guy in sunglasses, Pete McDonough) talks to some nobody from the Star-News.

Around 3:30 p.m., a big paddy wagon from the Pasadena PD showed up. Wow, way to look out for the Northwest. I guess Bogey told them there’s conservatives in Memorial Park, so they need to be on the look out.

I spoke with Tara Silva and Francine, two women from the Balloon Factory all the way up in Lancaster, CA. They made the drive to show their support. Tara said that this whole balloon ban was “outrageous”. They mentioned how they’ve never had a power outage due to a balloon or anything like that.

And hey…look who else I ran into?

Brian Fuller! Candidate for Assembly against “Fat Tony“. Obviously he’s not as stupid as Fat Tony is, a friend and supporter of Jack Scott’s proposed mylar balloon ban.

Video:

John & Ken go over PG&E’s top ten power outages of 2007, none of which are related to Mylar balloons.

The balloon effigy of Jack Scott.

“La Raza” likes John & Ken (dude’s words, not mine)

UPDATE:  Not my video but a cool video of little kids stomping on the Jack Scott effigy.

I don’t care what others say - I think this protest drew a lot of attention to this issue and how our tax dollars are not at work when we elect people like Jack Scott. For more info on how to Save Our Balloons, visit John & Ken’s website or listen to their show on KFI.

Be seeing you,

- AP

Time to stick it to those trying to take away our personal freedoms and our fun! The protest against