The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

Some new faces of 2007 (From left to right): District 1 Councilwoman Jacque Robinson, District 2 Councilwoman Margaret McAustin, and “Planny” - the Planning Commission dalmatian.

By the power vested in me by hyperlinking and blog archiving, here’s a shout out to the year 2007 - one of the most memorable years of not only my life but Pasadena’s as well.
2007 was definitely a year that saw both challenges for me in my personal life and for the City of Pasadena. While my life saw me unjustly fired from two jobs in the same year and subsequently being exiled to St. Louis, Pasadena saw gang violence, strip club buy outs, Rose Bowl float drama, door hanger drama, developer drama, high school football game drama, a police chief doubling as a City Manager, long-time PUSD board members upset from their seats, and lots, lots more.

Kimberley Brown ran against Steve Madison in the District 6 Council election. I’d like to have her in my polling place, if you catch my drift.

The year started out with some exciting Council and PUSD board races - all culminating with the March Primary election and the April runoff election (well, the latter if you didn’t get trounced by Mayor Bogaard).

Danny Bakewell made hell for Council to quell.

This very blog blossomed and came into its own a few weeks after the dust cleared from the election. As you’ll see, this site started out as my own personal campaign site. After the election, it became a place where I continually posted my attempts at comedic musings, controversial rants, controversial musings, and comedic rants (Ha!).
Ever since late March or early April, this site has become a favorite of elected officials, political candidates, anonymous pundits, newspaper reporters, crazy liberal bitches, bitches with smokin’ bodies, family members, erstwhile school board members, losers on professional wrestling message boards, Nigerian porno spammers, and Average Joes.

Local bloggers Centinel (left) and Dormitas (right).

And it’s not just this blog either. The entire blogsophere - moreso Blogadena - has grown to be quite the influential source from everything like straight information to complete ridicule of/on our leaders. More people pay attention to what goes on at historic City Hall than ever before. Let’s band together and make 2008 even more memorable!

When I was a kid, I was a big fan of those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. So why not sit a spell and do just that - choose your own Proctor-guided adventure in the archives of 2007.

• January
• February
• March
• April
• May
• June
• July
• August
• September
• October
• November
• December
• Febtabuary

Breakdown: 2007 In Numbers

• 195,000: The number of total hits for the year 2007 this site will reach sometime just before the end of the year.
• 8: The number of people on City Council (including the Mayor) who read this blog.
• Approximately 2300: The number of times the word ‘fuck’ is used on this site.
• 47: The number of times I’ve pissed people off.
• 86 minutes: The amount of time it takes Mayor Bogaard to finish a sentence.
• 48: Updated - number of times I’ve pissed people off.
• 3,000,000: The number of people I pissed off in the St. Louis area.
• $5,000,000: The amount the City spent to rid it of a strip club (the amount invested in to gang violence was far less).
• 40: Ounces of King Cobra goodness.
• $10 million: The amount Victor Gordo claimed we need in order to pay our police officers and fire fighters, in support of 2008’s worst decision, Measure D.
• $25 million: The amount in surplus the City actually will have. So why do we need Measure D again?
• 65,000 or so: The number of registered voters in Pasadena
• 5: The number of registered voters in Pasadena who vote
• 4: The number of registered voters in Pasadena who can name the Mayor or any member of City Council
• 73: The number of times Joe Hopkins attributed gang violence to a late 80’s or early 90’s hip hop group
• 8,294: The number of hours for entire City Council meetings this year
• 277: The number of times Jim Lomako used the phrase “granny flats” during the District 2 election
• 3,156: The amount of people who think things located just above Washington & Allen are part of incorporated Pasadena and not unincorporated Pasadena or Altadena.
• 1472: The number of geniuses in Pasadena.

Some Things I Learned In 2007

• John Shaft is a complicated man and no one understands him but his woman.
• Sid Tyler doesn’t use e-mail, he uses fe-male.
• The Midwest isn’t good for anything except cheap alcohol and cheap cigarettes.
• No MTA or ARTS bus in Pasadena is ever on time.
• Martin Truitt is 7 feet tall, weighs 650 pounds, and lives in a cave under the Allen Gold Line station.
• Running for office doesn’t get you a burger named after you. Calling the owner of a restaurant a ‘dick’ in the Pasadena Weekly does.
• Ace Star-News reporter Todd Ruiz and I have both seperately had sexual relations with this one chick back in our younger days. She had good taste.  UPDATE (Dec 27, 2007):  Chick pulls a Steve Madison and cries to me about this.  I took her picture down…here’s the e-mail I sent back:

  Because I'm a nice guy, a paragon of virtue, an icon, a superstar, role
  model, genius, et al....and since it's Kwanzaa, I'll take down your
  picture from that entry.
  
  It's a shame you don't have a sense of humor.  Then again, that's why
  you're a 30 year old Goth chick.
  
  - AP
  www.proctorformayor.com

• This chick on Law & Order: SVU reminds me of Jane Rodriguez.
• The Philadelphia Eagles and the Philadelphia Phillies are responsible for breaking my heart twice.
• Giving up the eyeliner and the eyeshadow and the weird clothes has been one of the better decisions I’ve made in life.
• Pasadena needs a Wendy’s and an Arby’s.
• City Council public comment cards make decent paper airplanes.
• Steve Haderlein is a sexy mofo.
• The hairstyle that Emo kids have is called a “Cry shield”. The kind of kids who listen to Emo are called “eleven-teens”.
• Jill organizes fun picnics.
• Former District 2 City Councilman Paul Little used steroids between his 2001 and 2003 terms.
• That guy on Orange Grove isn’t going to use the 50 cents you gave him to buy food.

I guess that all sums up 2007.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

- AP

Frazgo brings the Beijing situation and the  Virginia Hoge situation to a bigger group of bloggers - the ones cut from the Los Angeles fabric.  Check it out here.

- AP

There’s only one thing I miss about my exile to St. Louis earlier this year:

Dirt Cheap.

The link above is to a commercial for a chain of stores in Missouri called Dirt Cheap.  Plain and simple - they sold alcohol and cigarettes for, well, dirt cheap.  Not only could you get some good Captain Morgan there for about 3/4 the price you’d pay out here - but it even called itself “the last refuge for the persocuted smoker”.  AND - they had their OWN brand of generic beer.  $3.99 for a six pack.  I kid you not.   Future  Jefferson County  Prosecutors would agree.
The best thing about this is that this commercial would not go over too well in our avocado-consuming society.  “The more she drinks, the better you look”.  I love commercials that promote date rape.

- AP

From the PSN:

PASADENA — Two businesses were caught selling alcohol to a minor in a police decoy operation conducted Saturday, Pasadena Police officials said.

The police department’s Special Investigations Unit sent the minor to nine local establishments to attempt to purchase alcohol. Panda Inn on E. Foothill Boulevard and El Portal Restaurant on E. Green Street made the alleged sale, police officials said.

First-time penalties for selling alcohol to minors can include fines and community service, as well as possible action against a vendor’s liquor license.

Operations like this have been known to decrease sales to minors when conduced routinely, officials said.

I’m surprised these weren’t places on Orange Grove Blvd. Wow.

Hey PPD - Try the Rite Aid on N. Hill Ave & Washington Blvd. I’ve seen various young employees in there make numerous underage alcohol sales for the past 6 or 7 years. Plus, they don’t even card ANYONE because they’re too busy laughing and joking around with each other. They’re way understaffed and sometimes they’ll just sell alcohol to anyone to get the line moving. Terrible.

- AP

So, as you all know, I’ll be returning to Pasadena tomorrow.

I’ve had quite a few interesting months here in the Midwest.  Things started off pretty rough:  As you may have read, I had an annoying job I couldn’t stand, I almost got mugged, and I got in a car accident.  I also had to deal with racist people (on both sides of the coin), stupid people who like to say “Git R Done”, and anything else crazy that happens in the nationa’s most dangerous city.

I got some minor press in the Riverfront Times because of my “bitter blogging” at the time.  After the article came out, I met some people in the “scene” named Che and Stayci.  They invited me to hang out in quite possibly the coolest part of St. Louis, the bars down on South Grand.

After hanging out at South Grand and making some fast friends and acquaintances, I learned that although St. Louis may be full of the opposite ideals as, say, California, and although things are a little bit more “rednecky” in a whole and there’s just tons of political differences - people are still the same and people all have the same struggles and roadblocks and detours to deal with.  Just because a place like Pasadena (and California moreso) makes me happy doesn’t mean it will make someone else happy.  And hey - I’m really going to miss those cheap cigarettes at Dirt Cheap.

I really enjoyed hanging out at the bar CBGB on South Grand & Juniata as well as the Alternative Music Pub on Manchester & Boyle. 

I can’t say I’d ever want to spend too much time in the Midwest or that I’d choose to live here but I’m happy to know I met some very friendly and honest people who didn’t mind showing me around town or showing me the cool things to do while I spent my time here.

So - to Joe (DJ Blublood), Kristelle, Che, Stayci, Randy a/k/a The Mayor of South Grand, Michelle X, John Hartrich, Ninaz, Terry a/k/a Wanda’s nephew, Anna, Mark, Kaelyn, Bruce a/k/a Mark McGwire, Jeff, and all of the other really cool people who made my time in “Misery” a little less miserable - thank you.

Here’s hoping our paths cross again under much better circumstances.

Finally - and most importantly - a big thank you to my Mom and Dad whom I haven’t seen in years.  They made my stay here very happy, comfortable, and fun.  I hope to see them more often than every 5 years.

Stand & Deliver.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx3Sp0gplw4

- AP

Finally went up in the St. Louis Arch today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Louis_Arch

1.  Didn’t get stuck.

2.  It’s pretty cool.

3.  You can see pretty far for there being not much to see.

4.  If you stand at the west side and look with a pair of binoculars, you can see the St. Louis Cardinals taking batting practice.

5.  The little pods you go in are pretty cramped.

- AP

Gateway To The West! 

(By the way - the subject of this entry is a tribute to Jill at Eye Level Pasadena)

It’s Cool `Cause I’m There

The 2nd Most Famous Landmark In St. Louis

Cheap Cigarettes, Cheap Alcohol.  The Missouri Way.

Stand & Deliver

- AP

P.S. Bonus points for the people who “get” my t-shirt.

One more week until I arrive back in Pasadena! 

Looks like some residents on South El Molino are having reservations about renovations.  From M-o-double-lizzy Okeon in the PSN:

PASADENA - Local city leaders and neighbors of a large, century-old home on South El Molino Avenue are concerned and disappointed to see major renovations happening there.

Last week, work began on the 13,108-square-foot Craftsman-style house located on a 75,315-square-foot lot in the 1200 block of South El Molino Avenue, confusing surrounding residents who were unaware of the coming changes.

“It really happened so fast, it shook us up a bit,” next-door neighbor Andy Ingersoll said. “You shouldn’t go destroying the house. Even if he (is) building a beautiful new house, it’s a bad precedent. This really is a neighborhood of some of Pasadena’s finest old homes.”

I know it’s a section full of historic homes but..come on!  At least you don’t have gang violence in precious District 7.  Long live Sid Tyler.

Full article here:

http://www.pasadenastarnews.com/news/ci_6553023

Councilman Sid Tyler, left, was quoted as saying “If anyone is going to be having a demoliton derby..it’s me!  RARRR!”

Another article:

I was recently given a guidebook to Iowa, to which I will be moving in two weeks. The book is substantially larger than guidebooks to most countries, and proudly showcases bridges.

There is an attractive, bright-red covered bridge on the glossy cover, and an entire section of the guide is dedicated to the numerous, many-splendored bridges of the state. There are pencil drawings of Victorian mansions, and maps of the highly comprehensive freeway system. I am suspicious: accustomed to the elliptical ways of the 134, an interstate that runs along a straight line is fishy. 

Meh.  I became immediately disinterested when I saw the word “Midwest”. 

Read the full article:

http://www.pasadenastarnews.com/news/ci_6552536

So, back to these renovations - are you kidding me?  People get up in arms over the most mundane of things.  Dull, boring, minutia.  I miss Pasadena.

- AP

12 more days until I’m out of here.

I’m so excited.

I really dislike the Midwest.  Can’t we make this area a separate country?

I won’t be here for this but check it out if you’re in STL, anyway..

St. Louis Goth Scene Info

- AP

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