The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

And we have a new City Manager! Michael Beck has finally taken off his robe and is in the squared circle, ready to take on all comers: Historic preservationists, crazy developers, bloggers, maybe even Virginia Hoge! Actually, he starts on October 1st. Apparently, yesterday was officially “Screw the Brown Act! Day” in Pasadena.

I don’t know much about the guy except he’s from Riverside, and I loooooooooooove making fun of Riverside. I’ve known some crazy bitches from that town.

I’d like to take this time, though, to welcome Mr. Beck to the helm. Don’t mind that half-full bottle of vodka under your desk, that’s just leftover from Cynthia Kurtz.

And now - an open letter to Mr. Beck:

Dear Michael,

Can I call you Mike? Is that ok? Well, I’m going to do it any way. Ok. `Sup Mike? Welcome to Pasadena. I hope you enjoy your stay. You’re going to be hearing a lot about me. Well, you’re going to pretend that you don’t hear anything but you will. I’m Aaron Proctor, otherwise known as The Proc, The Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena, Role Model To Children Everywhere, Paragon of Virtue, and, sometimes, “Damn, Aaron, You Were So Fucking Good.” I’ll answer to you calling out any of those except the last one.

I run shit around here. Well, figuratively. And by figuratively, I mean not at all. I do have a blog that’s read by most of your co-workers, though. You are probably going to be told I have a penchant for fucking with people’s political careers. Kinda true, kinda false. You might want to get on my good side, though, especially since you automatically have points against you for being a) from Riverside and b) because that’s how I roll.

Here are some pointers on how to get on my good side:

1. Name a cheesburger after me. I know you can’t really do that, but, you can name any cheeseburger you’re eating after me.
2. Play along. Nobody likes a poor sport. Especially me.
3. Don’t drive a Maserati.
4. Don’t be named Steve Madison.
5. Do give me stuff. I love gifts. Philadelphia Eagles merchandise rocks, and I’m a huge “Doctor Who” fan. I’d also like the special edition of “True Romance” on DVD `cause some crazy bitch from Riverside took it.
6. I see you have some kids. Probably a good idea to teach them about the blogosphere and what a blog is/does.
7. Not mentioning me/acknowledging my existence isn’t going to make me go away.
8. If you use the word “irregardless”, there will be serious blogging consequences.
9. Be honest, open, opinionated. Don’t let those assclowns make you their bitch. City first, Michael Beck second. No shenangians. We’ll be cool like the other side of the pillow.

And here’s how you get on my bad side:

1. Don’t adhere to the “good side” list.

Once again - welcome to Pasadena - and good luck!

Xoxo,

Aaron Proctor

**

Sid Tyler Facts lower your cholesterol. True story.

• Sid Tyler’s license plate holder says “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy But It’s Necessary”
• When a tsunami happens, it’d because Sid has been swimming in the ocean.
• A Polish guy, a Jewish guy, a Catholic priest, and Sid Tyler all walk into a bar. Sid Tyler only comes out alive.
• Sid Tyler’s belly button is actually a power outlet.
• Sid Tyler can fold a paper airplane that can take down an 800 pound gorilla.
• Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet as Sid Tyler.
• Sid Tyler pours champagne on his Cheerios.
• Sid Tyler uses staples as hair gel.
• One day, NBC let Sid Tyler control all their programming for a day. All that aired were episodes of “Hunter” and “Law & Order“. Just regular “Law & Order”, though, he hates that SVU shit.
• Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Sid Tyler threw it.

**

From the makers (me) of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena & yet to be finished The Ten Things I Love About Pasadena comes yet another companion series: Stuff Pasadenans Like.

Based on the hilarious blog (and now book) by Christian Lander, “Stuff White People Like” - this will be a semi-regular look into the things that make people in the Crown City tick. I’m sure there will be things on his knee-slapping list that will overlap into my attempt-at-humor list.

First on the list…………

Cycling! (Don’t dare call it biking!)

People who own bikes are better than you. They’re better looking, more successful, and smell like Ambrosia. They are more open minded and advanced than you are. They use their bike more than their car - and when they’re driving - they’ll remind you that they’d “Rather Be Biking” or their “Other Car Is A Bike”. They’re even better than people who take public transit. When Judgment Day comes, they will be separated from all of us hellish people because God loves bikers more than non-bikers.

Gang violence in Pasadena isn’t as important as placing more “Share The Road” signs around town. The Rose Bowl might be a football stadium to the naked eye, but it’s actually an Olympic-style practice course. Sidewalks are for bikes first, pedestrians second.

Pasadena loves biking. Most of our City Council ride bikes, just not to City Council meetings. Pasadena is a very bike-friendly town. If you don’t ride a bike, then you’re an idiot. While you’re wasting time “at work” or “spending time with your kids” or “paying bills“, they’re living life to the fullest: ignoring all the latter and becoming the next Lance Armstrongs of the world. Oh, and you’re super elite if you have one of those Livestrong bracelets. Making fun of Lance having one testicle is punishable by a firing squad.

Cycling is more important than breathing and it’s one of the many ingredients in the Stuff Pasadenans Like.

**

A bunch of fucktards are going around the Pasadena area, stealing McCain signs - which is making people afraid to put up McCain signs, according to some legit, respectable sources of mine.

First of all - what the fuck? If somebody was going around stealing Obama signs, it would be in the leftist Star-News. I bet if I were caught fucking with someone’s sign, I’d be in some serious shit.

I’m not going to let people intimidate me, politically. Back when I was a weirdo Goth kid in 2004, I knew this weirdo Goth chick (because those are the only other kinds of people you hang out with) in South Pasadena (apparently a filming site for ‘Triumph Of The Will’ - according to Wikipedia) that went and took someone’s GW Bush sign and destroyed it. It wasn’t too hard to figure out she did it after she a) posted about it on MySpace and b) decorated her yard with all of the destroyed Bush signs.

So, it’s probably a bunch of loser, dregs of society (a/k/a the Obama base) taking these signs - with nothing else better to do. God damn, Liberals really hate the 1st Amendment, don’t they?

Don’t be afraid to have freedom of expression. If your neighbor has an Obama sign, don’t be scared. Liberals don’t control what we can and can’t say or put in our yards, yet, so go ahead, put up one. This anonymous sign grabber is the epitome of the Liberal tactics in this town and country: covert and pussified.

Let’s hope someone else catches this sign stealer or The Proc is going to have to lay the smackdown on their candy ass. If you smelllllllllllllllllll….what the Proc….is cookin’.

**

Yeah, yeah, I know the Phillies lost to the stupid Dodgers last night…but at least they came all the way back from a blowout 7-1 deficit to make it a respectable 8-6 loss. Although, yeah, a loss is a loss. It’s gonna be a different tune tonight when Cole Hamels is on the mound against…some ham and egger named Kershaw.

Since I’m in the mood to write open letters this morning, let me talk to my friends back in the City of Brotherly Love for a minute:

Dear Philadelphia,

As a resident of Pasadena, CA (originally from Philly for the first 20 years of my life) - the outside world considers me living in Los Angeles..just like the outside world thinks Anaheim is a section of LA.

Due to those ridiculous facts (Pasadena is only 5 minutes from LA but a world of difference) - I apologize for the lameness of Dodger fans.

LA fans are the worst sports fans in the world. It could be a no-hitter in the 7th inning for their precious Dodgers and you’ll see fans walking out of the game so they can “beat traffic”. Don’t even get me started on the parking lot at Dodgers stadium. If you want a spray-painted Virgin Mary t-shirt, this is the place to go.

Let’s hope the Phillies come back tonight…Hamels vs Kershaw is gonna be very different than Kendrick vs. Lowe.

Go Fightin’s.

- AP
http://www.proctorformayor.com

P.S. Tell William Penn I said “Hey”

Also - a special message to a majority of Dodger fans here in LA: ¿Manny Ramírez? Él no es mexicano. Apesadumbrado de estallar su burbuja.

Be seeing you and keep up the good work, Closet Conservative.

- AP

Who is the man that would stick his neck out for his blogger man?

Proc!

Damn right.

That Aaron Proctor is one crazy….

Shut your mouth.

But I’m only talkin’ bout the Proc..

Then we can dig it.

RIP to one of my personal favorites, Isaac Hayes. I remember when I got my first apartment back in the late 90’s and my dad got me an Isaac Hayes best of cassette. Good times, good times.

And RIP to Bernie Mac, who passed away this weekend as well.

**

The Proc hates going to Los Angeles…especially anywhere near Hollywood. Since it was Kelli’s birthday celebration and I’d go anywhere she wanted, we went to Universal Studios Hollywood. I didn’t pout or act like (too much of) an ass - we ended up having a great time!

I was going to wear my Kanye West glasses to “fit in more” in Hollywood but ultimately opted not to.

It was very hot on Saturday so we got there pretty early. I was pretty excited, as you’ll see in this video.

I met Marilyn Monroe. Watch out, still-alive Kennedys.

Universal’s all right. The Statue Dude at the entrance is pretty fascinating. I even got to mess around in Little Britain. I really like The Simpsons ride - especially since they’ve made that whole area into a little mini Springfield:

Kelli in front of Moe’s

We spent a good 7 hours in the park…and I highly recommend the “Terminator 2: 3D” show. Bring plenty of cash, patience and sunblock if you’re going in the summertime. Just leave your gas guzzling Hummer at home. A good time was had by all! I’ll be posting more pictures soon in the “About” section.

**

Kids say the darndest things these days. Sometimes they say fucking stupid things, too.

Luckily I got these bad ass Slang Flashcards at Lula Mae - so it’s time for another edition of my Slang Word Of The Week.

This week’s word is crunk.

crunk \’krunk\ adj. crunk-er : crunk-est [ME cronke, fr. MF cronc, fr. L cruncus] 1 : providing entertainment, amusement, excitement, or enjoyment “LAST YEAR’S PASADENA FOLLIES WERE SO CRUNK” 2 : crazy, insane - syn wack, postal 3 : intoxicated “HE GOT CRUNK ON SOME VILLICANA WINE“

Jane Rodriguez’ retirement party was the crunkest in all the land.

Lawn bowling at Central Park with Harvey and Fay got so crunk!

**

In what surely will become some type of award-winning article, Thomas Himes lets us all know that pet detectives are on the case of Moe The Chimp! I didn’t know Jim Carrey was that desperate for work.

Oh - and some dude who writes for the PSN is letting us all know to exercise caution in Northwest Pasadena. But enough about that, WHERE’S MOE?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

**

Pasadena City Manager Idol might have its finale tonight, as City Council is once again discussing the CM position in a closed session at tonight’s meeting. I’m still pissed they picked this mark from Riverside, as I was really pulling for Sanjaya. Let’s hope Steve Madison actually participates in the regular meeting, too. Well, there’s no agenda items reflecting his personal vendettas against titty bars this week, so I suppose he doesn’t have an obligations to attend. God, I fucking hate you, Steve.

Looks like some people are going to get fucked on their parking garage rates, too:

(2) Approve an increase to the monthly and daily parking rates at the
Paseo parking garages as follows:
Transient Parking Rates
 Change incremental rate from $2 per hour to $1.50 per half
hour, effective October 1, 2008.
 Change the daily maximum for non-validated tickets from $6
to $9, effective October 1, 2008.
Monthly Parking Rates
 Change the non-tenant monthly rate from $80 to $90, effective
October 1, 2008;

Ahh, well. People should read the agenda items more often, I guess. Wait a minute, who is the loser for not driving? Oh yeah, that was me when I first moved here. Have fun paying $1.50 every half a fucking hour this fall.

A. PUBLIC HEARING: ADOPTION OF A ZONE CHANGE TO DESIGNATE A LANDMARK DISTRICT OVERLAY FOR THE MARENGO - PICO LANDMARK DISTRICT (LD-17)

FINALLY! My heart was in my throat! I mean, I dreamed about it every night but I didn’t think it was going to happen. Finally the Marengo-Pico Landmark District receives an overlay designation! Wait..where the fuck is that again?

(1) APPOINTMENT OF GARY C. CREWS TO THE SENIOR COMMISSION
(District 2 Nomination)

I bet he and his elderly friends are so happy! Sag Crew Cry is an anagram for “Gary C. Crews”.

This is the last meeting until September 17th - so I’m assuming they’ll be banning our personal freedoms then. Douchebags.

Worst Of Pasadena 2008!

Phillies vs Dodgers tonight.  GO FIGHTIN’ PHILS!  Fuck the Dodgers.

Oh - and today is Hulk Hogan’s birthday, but he’s an assclown, so we’ll never speak of that again.

Happy Monday everyone! I hope everyone is doing well. It’s time for the Slang Word Of The Week - brought to you, in part, by:

Slang Flashcards - Available At Lula Mae

This week’s word is game.

1. game n. [ME, fr. OE gamen; akin to OHG gaman amusement] 1 : charm charisma, ability to influence or attract “THAT FORMER FEDERAL PROSUECTOR’S GOT GAME!” 2 : skill, ability 3 : sexual appeal, attractiveness, prowess 4 : business of occupation “BEING THE PUBLIC INFORMATION OFFICER IS HER GAME”

2. game adj : willing, agreeable “HE WAS GAME TO NAME A BURGER AFTER ME” - syn DOWN

Mayor Bill Bogaard, now in his early seventies, is an avid bicyclist, attends a myriad of public events around the City, and - as evident in this picture - still has got game.

During last week’s charity fundraiser, Margaret McAustin was flossing her mad game.

**

Congressman David Dreier

Republcian Congressmen David Dreier and Gary Miller are proposing some tough restrictions in illegal immigrants with their Loophole Elimination And Verification Enforcement Act - also hilariously known as the “LEAVE Act”, Dante Allbran reports.

Of course, here comes some more people confusing restrictions against illegal immigrants with an attack on LEGAL immigrants in general. Some comments from Miss Havisham:

I am repulsed by any legislation against immigrants. We have laws and a process already in place. Some of those laws are unreasonable and should be challenged. People from other countries coming here should be treated with respect and compassion. They have a tough enough time with all of the hatred they have to face from the citizenry, as it is. It’s horrifying that we are so unwelcoming.

Let’s face it - this idea isn’t about immigrants who have come here legally. It’s about people who have come here illegally, which, the last time I checked - something illegal is, well, illegal. Let’s stop muddling this shit up once and for all - there is NOTHING WRONG with someone who has come into this country legally, IE: immigrants. This country was built on immigrants.

However, I’ve got more than a few problems with someone who sneaks into this country, uses our welfare system and other things to get by, and literally rapes us of tax dollars that are being spent on them when they’re not even a citizen.

I have a huge fucking problem with companies who EMPLOY illegal immigrants and continually do this without any punishment by a government this seems to be intentionally allowing our state and our part of the country to be run over with this problem. I’m sick of people who think we should have open borders and invoke things like “the war” to distract us from a problem that is growing by leaps and bounds here in our part of the US. Giving into illegal immigrants not only is like that feeding the seagulls at the park analogy I used last week, it’s also giving in to the growing number of Reconquistas we already have in this country - a group of people who could end up making the 1992 LA Riots look like a small scuffle.

I doubt the legislation above will ever pass, when we have Democrats in this state who want to harbor fugitives and criminals. The hilarious name also won’t go over too well with the stick-up-their-ass Schiffs and chicks named Hilda of the world. Still - kudos to Dreier and Miller for having some TESTICLES in a world that is becoming more castrated by the minute.

**

Frank “Yellow Tape” Girardot has been experimenting with an occasionally live newsroom feed over at the Star-News/Tribune lately. Known as the Trevor Denman Cam - because of the Denman bobblehead in the foreground - all of us pasty, white, blogosphere virgins will be able to once-in-a-while see what goes on in a real live newsroom. Some things I’ve noticed during a webcast on Thursday night:

1. This is the worst episode of The Office ever. Where’s Dwight?
2. Who’s the guy walking around in jeans that looks like Horatio Sanz?
3. Apparently it’s spelled lede, not lead.
4. There’s not enough of Jennifer McClain’s tits. I got some headlines for her, know wha I’m sayin’?
5. I think people should break out into random song on camera once in a while. We could call it “Ham And Eggers Live! The Musical”
6. Frank Girardot should change his ringtone.
7. Where’s the heavy-set comedic foil with an un-tucked dress shirt? Doesn’t every newsroom have one?
8. If there’s not enough web traffic, I’ll be expecting some Todd Ruiz cameos.

As much as good idea as this whole thing is - something tells me a lot of reporters aren’t going to be too fond of it - and, even though I personally hope it lasts a long time, I could see it being a fun experiment while it lasted.

**

The Pasadena Weekly’s “Mr. Thursday Morning” Andre Coleman has a story this week about the continued search for a new City Manager. The funniest part of the story has to be the Weekly’s choice of a picture of Police Chief/Interim City Manager/Starfleet Commander Barney Melekian:

I’m assuming Barney was listening to a lot of Hall & Oates at this point in his career. He also drove around in a bitchin’ Ferrari 308 GTS and wore Hawaiian shirts. Isn’t there a way more recent picture than this one? Here’s a photo you guys can use of me the next time I’m quoted in something:

Yuck. I think this is when I was still getting my hair done at Jiffy Lube.
**

I gotta have me my boats and hoes,

- AP

The Proc says it’s Thursday - so that means it’s time for you to pick up a Pasadena Weekly and check out my newest edition of “5 Questions“. This time, it’s with Good Ol’ Paul Little!

**

After some homeless dude sat down next to me at the bus stop yesterday morning, demanded a cigarette, and when I told him I didn’t have any left - he said “THANKS A LOT, ASSHOLE” and walked away - I was pretty pissed. Not only pissed because the bus stop at Colorado and Sierra Madre smells of piss ever since they kept a bench there (which is now gone) for a week… (I also should note I would have beated his ass on principle but I didn’t want to smell like urine coming into my JOB)

I was also pretty pissed because I recently learned a new and disturbing fact about the homeless here in Pasadena and why they all flock here. It’s not just because the idiots down in Los Angeles give them tokens and tell them “Go to Pasadena!”

There was a survey recently done in Old Town. It found that a huge number of shoppers/people found it wrong that the Yellow Jacket Guides in Pasadena sometimes prevent them from giving homeless people money. Yeah, you read that right - people in Pasadena are pissed they can’t give to the homeless. I mean, in one sense, it’s their right to give money to whoever they want to - but in another sense - it’s causing a problem.

When I lived in Marcus Hook, PA - I lived by a park right on the Delaware River which I liked to go to and watch the ships unload at Sun Oil and then-BP. The park was full of seagull shit. Why? Because people kept feeding the seagulls. Finally the Marcus Hook city government (of which assclown Curt Weldon used to be Mayor) decided it was time to put up signs saying “Please Don’t Feed The Seagulls”. You feed a seagull, it keeps coming back, and shits on your sidewalk. People didn’t listen. Now the park is not only full of seagull shit - but lame-ass suburbanite gang graffiti as well.

Same applies to the homeless in Pasadena. Offer to buy one of them lunch next time instead of giving them money. See how many turn you down. Nahh, you give them money, or a cigarette..so they piss and shit at your bus stop..and EXPECT you to give them more money and a cigarette. These people who keep doing it AREN’T HELPING.

So - we just continue the trend that LA does. We give them a token and tell them to hit up Monrovia - where Crazy Billy Idol bitch has all of Restaurant Row squared away. That’s fine with me - `cause at least they’re not in Pasadena - but why not send them back to where they most likely came from?

Hey Council - why not make begging for money considered solicitation? Make it so someone asking you for change or a cigarette is right up there with a hooker in Untown telling you “$50 dollar for blow job”. I mean, it could be complaint based like their stupid smoking ban. We’ve got this new guy in Old Town telling people some sob story about he “just got off the Greyhound from prison” (when in fact, the Greyhound station here in Pasadena has been closed for a little while) - and that he needs a few dollars. Yeah, like I’m going to give money to a criminal. Why not have a hotline I can call where the po-po can come pick him up and drop his ass off in Los Angeles with the rest of the garbage? Put them right by that annoying “Question Mark” cafe on Colorado in Evil Rock - whose name I can never figure out - and let the hipsters on their Wi-Fi give him change. Or throw him in the slammer - at least he’ll have food and water and a bed for a night or two.

Don’t let the homeless dick you around and fuck up Pasadena. I’m surprised more of the limo Liberals aren’t all over this - but they’re mostly the ones GIVING them money and smokes. It’s only `cause there’s not homeless people pushing around shopping carts in Linda Vista. “You can be poor but you can’t be poor near me.” Nice job, douchebags.

**

Everyone’s favorite crazy person, Virginia Hoge, is at it again. Spewing more gallons of crazy than an oil well at a Texas mental institution:

The Joker with his new pal

Well, look who is here, partying with Aaron Proctor - at 2 separate parties. The top pic is from Aaron’s Blogger Party - whose pics have mysteriously vanished from his blog (what? censorship in the land of Libertarian “Free Speech”), lucky I kept this one for my scrapbook. And here she is again, giving the camera a “Rose Queen wave” on the far right, a guest at his recent birthday party!Who is “she”? None other than the Public Information Officer for the city of Pasadena, Ann Erdman (yes, she has a blog too).She does not condemn him - her weak “give him a bar of soap” comment, is not near enough - as she should, in support of her City if nothing else! I say her being there is nothing less than a very real show of support from her.Ann Erdman’s job description is listed on the City of Pasadena website as:The Public Affairs Division is the information link between city government, the community and the media. It produces the community newsletter Pasadena In Focus, prepares and distributes news releases, answers media inquiries, oversees all programming on 55 KPAS, develops and sells City Hall souvenirs, produces brochures, leaflets, flyers, posters, ads and other literature; plans press conferences; promotes special events; provides media relations and public relations counsel to city departments; and oversees the information kiosk at Pasadena City Hall. We are in serious trouble at City Hall if their main media person, their “information link between the city…and the community”, has so little scruples as to consort with the likes of this modern-day “Bircher” who is violently* attacking her own colleagues at City Hall! Oh yes, and he also sends our Mayor crudely-drawn comics to “rattle” him.*“Violence of the tongue is very real, sharper than any knife.” - Mother TheresaNot to mention Proctor’s profane, racist and savage attacks on our Public School district and his support of right-wing causes and candidates.Not to mention Proctor’s profane, racist and savage attacks on our Public School district and his support of right-wing causes and candidates.Forget W being Batman, Aaron Proctor is our Joker. (”The Joker”, said the late Heath Ledger “is a person without empathy”).Not to mention Proctor’s profane, racist and savage attacks on our Public School district and his support of right-wing causes and candidates.Forget W being Batman, Aaron Proctor is our Joker. (”The Joker”, said the late Heath Ledger “is a person without empathy”).But how long does he get to run around “Gotham”, a whole lot more? Our media (and the City of Pasadena’s lead media official) seem to be enjoying him. Not to mention Proctor’s profane, racist and savage attacks on our Public School district and his support of right-wing causes and candidates.Forget W being Batman, Aaron Proctor is our Joker. (”The Joker”, said the late Heath Ledger “is a person without empathy”).But how long does he get to run around “Gotham”, a whole lot more? Our media (and the City of Pasadena’s lead media official) seem to be enjoying him.Why? Not to mention Proctor’s profane, racist and savage attacks on our Public School district and his support of right-wing causes and candidates.Forget W being Batman, Aaron Proctor is our Joker. (”The Joker”, said the late Heath Ledger “is a person without empathy”).But how long does he get to run around “Gotham”, a whole lot more? Our media (and the City of Pasadena’s lead media official) seem to be enjoying him.Why?

Here are a couple of things I said in comments on her blog - which I’m sure she won’t print:

1. Those pics are still on my blog. Just go into the archives. Here and here. Idiot!!

2. Those pics are my property and I did not authorize you to use them. Therefore, you should take them down - since they’re copyrighted material. (Note: This rule applies to Hoge and Hoge only. Everyone else is cool with using stuff. I am just worried she’s masturbating to my image. While I don’t blame her, it creeps me the fuck out..)
3. I’m pleased to be put on the same level as Heath’s stunning performance in the film.

4. You’re a crazy fucking bitch…and you’re a professional crazy fucking bitch because you get paid by PUSD to be a crazy fucking bitch.

5. Ann Erdman thinks I rock the party that rocks the body. Jealous much?

6. You wanna talk about verbal violence? When you say things like “how long does he get to run around”, etc - sounds like you want to have me jailed for freedom of speech or even killed. Get in line for both.

7. Sorry you didn’t get invited to the blogger party or my birthday party. Your invitation must have got lost in the mail…..but I swear I thought Crazytown, USA 12345 was a legit zip code.

8. Fuck you. But not in the literal sense - `cause seriously - I wouldn’t go near that if PUSD paid me $11,000.

9. “Our media (and the City of Pasadena’s lead media official) seem to be enjoying him. Why?” Because I’m the Most Electrifying Man in Pasadena and fucking hilarious?
10. Thanks.

**

I think we all know who the 5.4-on-the-Richter-scale Ham & Egger in the room is this week.

For the first time ever, this week’s Ham & Egger Award goes to an inanimate object (well, if you count Peter Dreier as an animate object..):

The Chino Hills Earthquake.

Thanks for a “not so big quake” to scare the hell out of me….should rename it “The Ham & Egger Earthquake.”

**

Ok - so everyone (including me) is talking about how great the new Batman movie is - but wait just a minute here….Step Brothers is pretty good, too.

It’s a funny movie that I was laughing through the entire way. Lots of “rated R” type humor - much like you’ll find on this website. It’s not “artsy” funny, either, so leave that Darjeeling Limited shit at home. Plus - like 99% of it is filmed in Pasadena and South Pasadena. If you go see it, watch for the Paseo and the Mission Gold Line Station. Now all those filming signs I saw like..6 or 8 months ago…for “Brothers” make sense.

I also have a soft spot for John C. Reilly (who also lives in Pasadena - why can’t we have John C. Reilly Day?! Margaret McAustin - get on that one…) since a couple of people used to say I looked like him (when I let my hair grow long..)

Plus there are quite a lot of quotable lines and memorable scenes throughout the film. I’ll even wager this was funnier than Walk Hard or Semi-Pro.

I say give it a chance - but wait until after you see Batman..it’s the perfect “pick me up”. Seriously, I was laughing for 90 minutes straight.

**

So an e-mail went around from some Old Money White People “historical preservationists” about how Michael Beck wouldn’t be a good fit as the next City Manager of Pasadena.

If you read my post yesterday, you’ll see why he’s really bad for Pasadena. It has nothing to do with his records on pissing off Old Money White People “historical preservation” - it has to do with the fact that he’s coming from Bumfuck County to Pasadena and will roll over anything and everything the City tells him to do. Just what we need - another lackey. Trust me - take a City Manager from like Texarkana and tell him he’s gonna be the new City Manager of New York City and get a nicer house and get paid way more. He’d do anything you’d say. The Old Money White People “historical preservationists” should calm the fuck down - he’ll be at your beckon call.
Besides - the way Bogey is talking in the paper, it sounds like Beck is already the new guy. I wonder if Beck has been debriefed on Pasadena just yet? I mean, I’m sure he knows all the ins and outs of government..but what about other quirks of the Crown City?

TOP TEN THINGS THAT WILL BE SAID TO MICHAEL BECK ONCE HE BECOMES CITY MANAGER

10. “It is true that Sid Tyler does extreme mixed-martial arts cagefighting on the weekends..”
9. “If you see a heavy-set guy in glasses with an un-tucked shirt and notepad lurching around City Hall, that’s Carl Kozlowski. Yeah, don’t watch his stand-up routine.”
8. “Be careful what you say in print around here. Unlike Riverside, people here can actually read.”
7. “Here’s your copy of Mein Kampf for your trips to South Pasadena…”
6. “She’s not a high school intern, she’s a Councilwoman.”
5. “See that Proctor guy? You don’t see him.”
4. “It’s ok. It’s a diagonal crosswalk.”
3. “Nearest Sonic? 22 miles away.”
2. “Shiiiiiiiiiiit.”
1. “What do you mean ‘when’s the next NASCAR event’? HAHAHAHA! Where the hell do you think you are? Riverside?……………………………Ooops.”

**

Like dangling a piece of cheese in front of a mouse with its mouth wired shut,
- AP

Everyone is talking about the big event that rocked Pasadena and the entire LA area yesterday. I hope everyone is ok after what happened.

Of course, I’m talking about the unveiling of A SHIRTLESS PICTURE OF STEVE HADERLEIN!

That’s Sexy Steve takin’ a dive for the ladies. Call Chief Melekian - there’s a crime wave of hotness afoot!

Oh and there was an earthquake….

**

It’s time for #3 on my list of The Ten Things I Love About Pasadena (inspired by this blog post and a companion series to The Ten People Ruining Pasadena):

#3: We’re The Center Of The Universe!

Seriously. It’s got to be a least a million times that The Proc is watching TV or reading something and shouts out “Hey! They’re from Pasadena!” I guess there’s a reason even Einstein wanted to spend a lot of his time here.

So many famous (and sometimes infamous) things and people are connected to the Crown City, it’s amazing. My favorite baseball player for my favorite team, Chase Utley, for example - was born in Pasadena.

The Gamble House is here..and that’s even Doc’s house in “Back To The Future”.

Wikipedia sez - check out all the famous people from Pasadena:

And according to the City of Pasadena website - check out the myriad of films and TV shows filmed here. So the next time someone tells you Pasadena is just the “place where the Rose Parade and Rose Bowl happen” - tell them all of these exciting facts…tell them why Pasadena is the Center Of The Universe!

**

The Pasadena Museum Of History - The Next Home For My Famous Leather Jacket

Miss Havisham (sexy at 69 comments on the FC blog) sent in her interesting take on “The Pasadena Way” as I continue to try to figure out just what the fuck it actually means to everyone:

“That is just not the Pasadena way.”Back in the stonedage when I was but a tot,
and the train used to rumble across Colorado Blvd.
dust would fly up onto your cup,
if you were chance to have a tea by the tracks.*cough*“We’ll have to dump the whole pot out.”“No, oh no. That is just not the Pasadena way.”From what I understand the Pasadena Way to be
as taught to me by my elders,
In the nineteen-seventies
the lore of the loony alleys *was*
We Pasadenans don’t mind a little dust in our tea.- Miss Havisham

Way different than the way it is now, Miss H. Now - people complain when their neighbors have an ugly garage. Now Neighborhood Associations make living in a City not so much fun. Now - any time anyone is trying to have fun or do something not so status quo, it gets heavily taxed or banned or thrown out of the City. (Strip clubs, smoking, any sort of night club that wants to stay open till 2 a.m. in Old Town, etc…) Those 70’s sure sound fun.

**

I’ve been getting some lame ass comments on my YouTube page that I’m not approving regarding the John and Ken Show - (and no, it’s not about how one of them looks like Haderlein) - stemming from videos I posted of their balloon ban blowout a few months ago. Some people aren’t too happy about the post where a guy speaks Spanish to John and Ken (and my titling of it): “Mexicans Like John And Ken“:

fleiva30 has made a comment on Mexicans Like John And Ken:

thanks to this morons hate crime and racism has risen ALOT..for the past 2 years
towards our hard working immigrant brothers…every fucking day they talk bad about
immigrants and when they commit a crime oh hell breaks out, but when a immigrant get
kill of a hate crime they dont give a fuck about it….Now what does that shows
u..what type of people are this two motherfuckers???????????

(By the way - I read that comment entirely in this accent, provided by Kelli after a City Council meeting where a chick complained about smoking..)

Yes, John and Ken are responsible for all of the racism in the world. Any time I’ve listened to their show and they’re ranting about immigrants, they’re only talking about illegal immigrants. Thanks to morons like “flavaflav30″ or whatever the fuck their name is, it’s spread around that John and Ken are talking shit about all Mexicans.

People forget something about Conservatives…from the hate that’s spewed by idiots in the Liberal media: We love immigrants in this country. This country was built on immigrants. However, we don’t love people taking advantage of this country - whether it’s through regular white people abusing the welfare system or terrorists trying to blow up and kill civilians or people jumping our borders and gaining the same things others work hard for illegally. Canadians aren’t really running over our borders to cheat the welfare system and commit crimes. This is OBVIOUSLY happening with illegal Mexican immigrants. I think a lot of people who are critical of people like me selectively hear things. I said ILLEGAL immigrants are a problem. I don’t care WHERE they’re coming from - but the truth is - they’re mostly coming from Mexico. 95% of the LAPD’s outstanding warrants for homicide are for illegal immigrants. Yep, I’m droppin’ knowledge.
And do you read the fucking news AT ALL? It’s not fat, balding beer-swilling white Linda Evans 1970’s calendar owning Bill Engvall fan AM radio listening Conservative guys putting out “hate crimes” on poor Mexican illegals. It’s Black on Latino and vice versa gang vilolence. I’m sorry - but unless you’re an innocent individual caught in the crossfire - I really don’t feel sympathy toward someone who is gang affiliated being killed in a gang shooting. That would be like feeling sorry for Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

But, yeah, keep posting YouTube comments. I’m sure that’s doing a lot more than you, I don’t know, actually researching and gaining the correct information or going out and voting or something. The Proc says: know your role and shut your mouth. Do I hate Mexicans? Fuck no. I ate at Rosarito yesterday and think Mexican Coca Cola is far better tasting than its American counterpart. Get a grip, son.

Try showing up in any other country on the planet, illiterate and penniless, and announcing, “I’ve seen pictures of your country and it looks great. I think I’d like to live here! Oh, and by the way, would you mind changing all your government and business phone messages, street signs, and ballots into my native language? Thanks!” They would laugh you out of the country. - Ann Coulter

**

Who is the fuck is this mark?

I hear the new City Manager might be this Beck dude from Riverside. Oh great - here comes the RICO act and gang injunctions. Dude is from a small town and is gonna end up worshiping at Pasadena’s feet and rolling over for everyone - because he gets to leave his crap shack in the IE for a nice Bungalow on Paul Little’s street. Melekian’s gonna love this guy. At least I get to brush up all of my Inland Empire jokes:

Q. How does someone ace a job interview in Corona?

A: Have the same biker tattoos as the guy interviewing them.

**

I just gotta speak for a minute about yesterday’s earthquake, though. Especially since it was the first of such magnitude I’ve ever been in. I remember a quake about 2-3 years ago that hit out in Yucaipa somewhere..I was working in Altadena, solving the XML comprehensive bottleneck (inside joke with me and Jason Siler), at the time and the building I was in just shook a little bit..I thought “Oh? That’s it?” Well, that’s because it was a 4.0….

The Star-News has it on the front page this morning. *Crosses fingers* Please don’t let it be Robert Hong reporting..please don’t let it be Robert Hong reporting…please don’t let it be Robe……
PHEW! DAVE AMPERSAND WITH THE TOP STORY! My heart was in my throat for a minute…

There wasn’t a blogosphere back when Northridge happened - so I’m interested in the numbers for people who went to, say, the Foothill Cities blog when this occurred. Kudos to them, as well, for apparently being the first source on the Internet - before any news organization - about the quake! As soon as I came back inside, I shouted “TO THE BLOGOSPHERE!” - not the Star-News or anything else. Rather have personal accounts during a natural disaster - and hey - we’re damn lucky our Internet was even WORKING!
I guess I’m also lucky I was outside - because I was shaken up (no pun intended) but not as much as I would have been if I were indoors. I was on Delacey Ave outside of my place of employment smoking a cigarette..when I heard a pop and felt a big rattle. Carl Kozlowski, reporter for the PW, was also outside and I’m like “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” The lamp post on Delacey was swaying to and fro. The chick came out of the perfume shop next to the Cigar shop and said some of her perfume fell down. It was a fucking earthquake.

I immediately called Kelli - I was lucky to get through. Then I called my parents - because I know they’d freak out if they saw “5.4 Earthquake Hits LA” and didn’t get a call from me. Luckily they weren’t watching the news at the time..although, I wish I had recorded the phone call - it was 60 kinds of hilarious:

Me (serious tone): “Mom, I’m just calling to let you know there was a 5.4 earthquake that just hit a few minutes ago…Kelli and I are ok.”

Mom (to my dad): “JAMES! A 5.4 EARTHQUAKE HIT LOS ANGELES! TURN ON THE TV!”

But yeah, I’m ok - just a little worried about aftershocks and if that was a foreshock or whatever - since I don’t know shit about Earthquakes. At very first, I thought someone just really pissed off Sid Tyler.

Ann Erdman’s got an awesome post about how they dealt with it at City Hall.

I should be getting some Earthquake Preparedness PSAs done soon. Poor bike shops in San Dimas - when will they learn? Good thing George Costanza wasn’t there.

I’m also glad CNN had their priorities straight. Obama going to work apparently beats biggest Earthquake since Northridge shaking up a bunch of his base.

**

On an even more serious note, I just wanted to say RIP to Edie Huggins. She passed away yesterday at the age of 72. Edie was a part of my television watching experience growing up in Philly (and a staple of many, many other people’s news watching, for sure) and she’ll be sorely missed.

**

Playin’ with the Queen of Hearts,

- AP

While we don’t know yet who is running against Victor Gordo (or Sid Tyler or Chris Holden) early next year - we do know that there’s a kinda big Presidential election in November, a stupid Bond Measure that will try to pass, and an Assembly race as well - pitting Democrat & Sopranos extra Fat Tony against the GOP’s Brian Fuller. It’s time for Election coverage so cue the JPG:

The Proc says Brian Fuller deserves your vote. He is the kind of guy that would come over to your house, chill on your couch, be cool with drinking iced tap water `cause you didn’t make a run to Von’s yet and go to dinner at BJ’s in Arcadia with you - so that’s what we did on Saturday night. He also doesn’t seem to mind my occasional use of the word “Fuck“. Fuckin’ a. No Garvanza $50 fundraisers here. And, for all you nosy FPPC people out there, he bought his own dinner - so - no scandals.

Brian Fuller also has a lot of good ideas for the community. He’s not big on the government making bullshit programs that eat up taxpayer money but don’t really do a damn thing - ones that are just to give people jobs so people can try and get re-elected over and over. He doesn’t care for lobbyists or special interest groups that are trying to save their own asses by paying politicians to do their bidding.

Here are some superficial reasons why he should get your vote:

• Drives a bitchin’ yellow PT Cruiser
• Has been to all 50 states - including the Northwest Angle
• Is proud of his Scottish heritage, wants to buy a kilt
• Like artichokes on his pizza
• Likes bluegrass music
• Can quote “Pulp Fiction” like nobody’s business
• Survived driving off a cliff. True story.

Oh yeah, and he’s single, ladies. So - when you go to the polls in November - if you really want all this “change” people are talkin’ about - why not do something a little different and vote for a guy who isn’t part of the “Good Old Boys” club around here? You’ll be happy you did.

**

Let’s get some Sid Tyler Facts goin’ in this biznitch:

• Knock Knock…. Who’s There?…. Sid Tyler….. Sid Tyler who?….. (gunfire erupts)
• When Sid Tyler was in high school and he was taking algebra, his teacher allowed all of his solutions for “x” to be “Sid Tyler”.
• When Sid Tyler exercises, the machine gets stronger.
• Sid Tyler banged a mermaid.
• Oxygen requires Sid Tyler to live.
• The media has coined the phrase “staycation“. Sid Tyler has coined the phrase “killcation“.
• When that bus crashed into the Jack In The Box, people thought Sid Tyler didn’t order extra onions.
• Sid Tyler earns maximum wage.
• “Made by Sid Tyler” is imprinted under China.

**

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! I caught a LOT of the City Council meeting last night and while my rundowns pale in comparison to Dormitas, I’ll try to floss like I’m him any way:

• I thought there was going to be a finale to Pasadena City Manager Idol - but the judges couldn’t make a decision just yet, due in part (Bogey said) to the absences of Sexy Steve, El Pollo Gordo, and “Obligatory Absence” Madison.
• There is, however, a brand new City Clerk - as Mark Jomsky debuted last night. I think a bag of potatoes has more fucking personality. He’s our own version of Toby Flenderson.
• Mike Adamle was named General Manager of WWE RAW last night, so take his name out of the City Manager search.
• The Gestapo will pass their Smoking Ban on August 11th or sometime in September, said Michelle Bag-nair-us.
• Council opposed Prop 7 - mostly because Pasadena is its own power company. 76% people or something like that, support it. Just goes to show you how Pasadena Council can be “We don’t care what everyone else thinks” one day and then “We need to be more like (insert uber Liberal hippie dippie city here)” the next day.
• “Nearly bringing me the hotness but not quite succeeding like some other people do” of the night went to some Prop 7 supporter named Alexandra Simpson during public comment. Just out of college and already doing her political thang. Meeeeeow.
• Bogaard couldn’t remember Fat Tony’s field rep’s name..Adam something…led the pledge (which he slipped up on…probably hard for a liberal to pledge the flag) and bored me with about other stuff. I’ll just call the guy Stacks.
• Something like 71% of the people who live in Downtown make $50,000 a year. So do they think they’re better than me? `Cause they’re not.
• That dude who has been commenting on my blog and some other blogs, Eddie “Banjo” Marks, gave me a call last night. We’ve been e-mailing for a while. He sounded a little drunk..and he’s not even posted a single blog of his own yet…but he seems pretty cool. He is legit from Kentucky - but is living here in California now after doing some work in Mexico. Long ass story. Wish he’d tell it.
• I think the real star of the night was our buddy Sid. At first, he was pissing me off with his “let’s ban smoking in apartments and condos” shit…and then, he was talking to some chick who was an entimologist or epidermist or Episcopalian or something…and he was getting all excited and asked her out for coffee. Chris Holden even said “Sid got excited…shiiiiiiiiiiiit.” That was hilarious stuff.
• The usual b.s. all around. Dormy will go into more detail, I’m sure. No Madison…must have been a really hot stripper to bang somewhere. I don’t think McAustin was gonna put up with his shit this week, any way.

**

Back on June 28th, I posted about how I keep running into this homeless lady in the Duarte-Arcadia-Monrovia area who looks like a cracked out Billy Idol. Well, I have seen her TWICE now in the past few weeks. Kelli & I encountered her walking up Huntington in Arcadia outside of 100-to-1, talking to herself - and then we saw her on Saturday outside of BJ’s in Arcadia..again pulling the “I left my bag on the bus” bullshit. I even said to her this time “I JUST SAW YOU AT THE WAL-MART IN DUARTE A FEW MONTHS AGO PULLING THE SAME SHIT!” and she just says “Thank you..” and walks away to harass other people in the parking lot.

Next time, I’m telling this bitch to fuck off.

**

Walkabout Pasadena is back. “Part II: Ice Cream Social” is kind of a weak title. How about “Part II: Electric Boogaloo” or “Part II: Day Of Reckoning”? I actually think these events are good and sadly - I won’t be able to attend this one due to prior commitments. I think something needs to be said - not only of the walkability of Pasadena but of the bus-ability of Pasadena, particularly the ARTS bus, as well.

I’m also wondering when they picked this date - `cause it’s suspiciously on the same day my friends at the Pasadena Republican Club are doing their precinct walks. (By the way, did anyone notice how the IndyMac Star-Bus Crash reported the Democrat HQ opening but not the Republican?  A biased pansy runs that place…)
Plus - I’m not going to let anyone else steal my kiosk idea - although I think Margaret McAustin may have unknowingly done so.

Looks like there’s going to be ice cream…and Bogaard. So - find out which takes longer to complete: Bogaard finishing a sentence or ice cream melting. The results will sweep you away!

Happy Tuesday.

- AP

The Proc had a rockin’ 27th birthday! First - thanks to my old roommate and co-worker, Tracy, for bringing me a delicious Belgian brownie with a note attached saying “Happy Birthday Proctor. You’re old.” Quite hilarious and tasty at the same time.

Kelli and my parents got me some great stuff, too! Got some awesome Phillies and Eagles gear (including a brand new Chase Utley jersey!!! Did you know that Chase Utley was born in Pasadena???), a fancy cigarette lighter engraved with my initials, an American Flag tie, some much needed clothes for my ever-growing wardrobe (love the polo shirts!), and “WWE Smackdown vs RAW 2008” for the PS2 - which can only mean City Council Death Match will be debuting on this website quite soon. More on that in the days to come.

Kells Bells also took me out to dinner at Acapulco. Great food - and that Azul Margarita they have is strong as fuck!

Thanks to EVERYONE for their well-wishes and for helping make this the best birthday ever. Even Virginia Hoge got me a present. And Pasadena’s Closet Conservative got me a hilarious video of Barack Obama screwing up. (He’s saying that we should all learn Spanish! What The Fuck?!)

And now a list of other famous July 11th births at this link.

**

According to Andre Coleman in the PW (via Dormitas), the Crown City Council is very close to selecting a City Manager. As we all wait with bated breath and shake in antici-pation (RHPS reference), I’ve narrowed down the people who I think would best serve the role of a City Manager with the conclusion of City Manager Idol:

Gil Gunderson

Ol’ Gil is going to get things done in this town, he swears. Besides, for a guy that screws up all the time, he’d be a perfect fodder generator for both newspapers in this town. Just don’t buy a 1987 Mazda GLC from him. Trust me.

Pam Beesly

Pam is a creative self-starter who doesn’t like her job but takes pride in it anyhow. Plus - she’s an amazing drawer. We need more creative types at City Hall. We’d also have years of “will they, won’t they” sexual tension between her and Assistant City Clerk Mark Jomsky. She’s also one of those chicks that looks totally hot while wearing hardly any makeup.

The 4th Doctor

City Hall has lots of halls and corridors - which The Doctor loves to run down. Plus, K-9 could fetch his coffee and deal with developers. The guy also can travel through fucking time. Could Cynthia Kurtz do that? Maybe when she was drunk..butseriously! Although, he might accidentally park the TARDIS over one of those white lines/boundaries in Old Town and get a ticket. I’m sure he could get out of it, though…he’s the Doctor! He also has two hearts and usually hot female companions (maybe J-Rod can stick around?)

Rick James, Bitch!

Pros: He’s Rick James, bitch.

Cons: He’s dead.

GOB Bluth

The man rides a Segway - showing that he cares about the environment. Did you also know he has a $7,000 suit? The inspiration for Mr. Banangrabber, GOB Bluth would be a key member of the Council as he has experience in development. COME ON!

You should seriously consider my nominees, Council.

**

From the “I’ll have the chicken taquitos with a side of rape” files, check out this wackiness over at Frank Girardot’s blog. Finally NFL kickers are getting some recognition! If these allegations are true, I hear his restaurant will be renamed “El Penis Loco”.
**

A new restaurant has finally opened up on Delacey Street - after the Union Cattle failed miserably.

I give this new place, called The Dena House, about a year or so.  It’s not because the food is bad (I honestly don’t know yet) - it’s because the location seems to be a “death spot” for businesses.  Since 1999 or so, there has been a Jerry’s Famous Deli, a gym, Pasadena Brewing Company and the aforementioned Union Cattle - all in the same spot.  I don’t know exactly why - but it’s not a good location for restaurants.

However, the Apple Store in Old Town is booming - with the release yesterday of the brand new IPhone:

Old Town was flooded with lifeless and most likely jobless hipsters on Friday morning for the new IPhone’s unveiling.  I snapped these photos on my way to work - because I have food and bills to pay for.  The line, at around 8:20 in the morning, went all the way from the Apple Store on Colorado down to Delacey & Green.  Like - a couple of city blocks long. There were too many Elvis Costello-esque glasses and Daft Punk t-shirts for my liking, so I made it quick before I could vomit up my breakfast.

Very few women were seen here.  And the few that were seen were the hipster types - ya know, the kinds of chicks that vote for Dennis Kucinich but couldn’t find Pennsylvania on a map.  Virgin central - except for the dude holding a baby, which will be promptly ignored for his new baby - the IPhone.

The entire fan base of KCRW is blocking my way into work.  An Apple Store employee tries to hand me a bottle of water and chips - which I take - and then inform him I’m not waiting in line, I’m going to WORK.  HAH!

Wait - did ComicCon come to Pasadena? I can’t stand those dudes with pony tails who carry backpacks and wear Caterpillar-brand boots. I split before an impromptu game of “Magic: The Gathering” started.

So yeah, that was really annoying and the line was nearly at Delacey & Colorado by the time I went home yesterday.

That’s all I’ve got this morning.  Have a great weekend.

Be seeing you,

- AP

(No longer worried about the boy I once was, now focused on the man I’ve become.)

Thanks for the smokes, Cynthia

Centinel over at Foothill Cities has taken the liberty of making a graph of my tongue-in-cheek campaign contributions.  Check it out at this link.  Centinel’s post was also given props by Frank Zgnoc over at Metroblogging LA, which has a new URL.

**

Go Huskies and/or Longhorns

I attended the pointless City Manager public comment on Saturday morning and graced City Council with a special Top Ten List.  The theme was “Top Ten People You Should NOT Pick For City Manager” and included names like Cal Worthington, Andre Coleman, and The Crazy Lady Who Reads Poems At City Council Meetings. I left the copy of the list on my coffee table, so I’ll post it soon.  Needless to say, it was quite hilarious - even getting chuckles from KPAS tech, Daniel Hesse.  It was also nice to run into Former City Councilman and new guy in charge at the Chamber of Commerce, Paul Little.  Paul made some good points at public comment, namely the fact that the public comment should have been televised and that smaller cities have had more than one meeting about who their next City Manager should be. 

**

Speaking of City Council, I’ll be there again tonight.  This time, I’ll be there cheering on PW Editor and fellow ex-Pennsylvanian, Kevin Uhrich.  He’s receiving an award from the Human Relations Commission (hey - remember when I was on that?).  It’s called the Model of Unity award.  Lebanon bologna for everyone!

Happy Monday,

- AP