The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

The Proc used to make fun of iPod’s - but damn - they’re pretty cool.  Especially when you get one for free from former pro wrestler, Eddie “The Banjo Who Never Blogs-o” Marks. Mine is the iProc, however.  Especially since it says “The Most Electrifying Man In Pasadena” on the back.

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Samuel Mutha Fuckin’ Jackson Was On Last Week’s Mutha Fuckin PW Cover

The Proc says to pick up a Pasadena Weekly today.  I’ve got another round of “5 Questions” with Kathryn Reece - she’s the insanely gorgeous chick who runs The Aztec Hotel - where this Saturday’s Blogger Picnic V (For Vendetta) is takin’ place.  Let me know if you didn’t get an evite!

Check out Andre Coleman’s “Good Fight” story as well - about how Victor Gordo screwed this dude Eddie Johnson over.  Hey Eddie’s family - if you’re out there reading - if I’m electing Councilman, I’ll rename the stretch of Orange Grove Blvd. in District 5 after you.  Take that, El Pollo!

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Picking up where we left off yesterday - revealing just who is The Worst Of Pasadena 2008!

Worst Newspaper:

The Pasadena Journal!

If The Star-News were in the Indy 500 For Shitty Newspapers, it would be the fucking pace car.  But who would be leading the pack of the race itself?  Why, it’s the Pasadena/San Gabriel Valley Journal - the throwaway rag that Joe Hopkins could be using as a service to the community but instead fills it with rants that start out pretty good and turn insane, accuses every white person of being racist, and critcizies youths for listening to “gangsta rap” while noting rap groups that haven’t been popular since 1993.

I mean, if you like hearing how “Whoomp! There It Is” is poisoning the black community, by all means, pick one up.  While you’re at it, pick up a King Cobra - `cause that’s seemingly the only kinds of retailers who carry this paper.  Speaking of King Cobra - where the fuck is Fred Williamson?!  I saw a bunch of his movies for 99 cents at Walgreen’s a few months ago.

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Worst Fashion Trend:

For some reason, everyone says these are ugly ass shoes yet everyone is wearing them.  I think they’re stupid and rank right up there with those annoying bitches who wear over-sized Paris Hilton sunglasses.  Crocs suck, The Proc even has video proof.

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Worst Pasadena Event:

The Doo Dah Parade

No offense to Queen Mickie, but yeah, the People spoke - and think the Doo Dah Parade is just more annoying as The Rose Parade.  And they’re two completely opposite attractions.

The Doo Dah was started by hippies.  I fucking hate hippies.

I don’t dislike The Rose Parade, I just dislike people who focus more on that than crime or schools or things that affect us who live here.  So I resent people who get all up in arms about the Rose Parade and otherwise don’t even know who their fucking City Councilmember is.

I’m going to start my own parade.  It’s going to be called “The Proc’s Awesome Cavalcade”.  No Commie floats.  No hippie chicks who don’t shave their pits.  Just downright, wholesome awesomeness - for the whole fucking family.  Rides, balloons, strippers (with actual nudity), Villanova University’s marching band, and yearly Grandmaster, Tom Wopat.  Or we could just invent a time machine, I could go back, roll up to the very 1st Doo Dah parade on the bus, tell Scotty Snotty & The Hankies that they’re the worst fucking band in the world and that scratching on a chalkboard sounds better than the crap that they put out, and layeth the smackdown so hard on some non-showered hippies that they’ll actually go out and get a job.

Fuck yeah.

Stay tuned tomorrow as I reveal the final Worst Of winners.

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Sarah Palin, meet Elizabeth Kucinich

Ya know, if this election thing doesn’t pan out for Sarah Palin - I’d like to invite her to be in my first adult film..co-starring with me and Elizabeth Kucinich.  We could call it “Bi-Partisan”.

Be seeing you…and remember:

 

Huell Howser is my Homeboy! 

- AP

You’re my girl, Maggie Mags. Did anyone else see her verbally bitchslap my arch-nemesis Steve Madison last night? You’re my hero, Margaret. Instead of making it a new rule in the City Council Drinking Game, can I buy you a beer? Or two? Or three? Seriously. Keep up the good work. I honestly don’t even know what the whole issue was about - I just saw you rip Madison’s manhood out like you were a female Sid Tyler or something. Want to be my tag team partner?

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Saturday - Saturday - Saturday! It’s the fourth get-together of all the local bloggers. This time it’s personal…nahh..actually, it’s just in Monrovia. If you haven’t received the super secret special E-Vite, please let me know and I’ll send it to you right away. If you’d like to be in a PSA, let me know, too.

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The Proc can’t get enough of Rene Amy’s PUSD listserv. Rene likes to post a lot of thought-provoking articles from various publications, like this one from over the weekend in the San Francisco (*vomits in mouth a little bit*) Chronicle:

1997 saw the height of the Math Wars in California.On the one side stood educrats, who advocated mushy math - or new-new
math. They sought to de-emphasize math skills, such as multiplication
and solving numeric equations, in favor of pushing students to write
about math and how they might solve a problem. Their unofficial motto
was: There is no right answer. (Even to 2 +2.)

They were clever. They knew how to make it seem as if they were pushing
for more rigor, as they dumbed down curricula. For example, they said
they wanted to teach children algebra starting in kindergarten, which
seemed rigorous, but they had expanded the definition of algebra to the
point that it was meaningless.

On the other side were reformers, who wanted the board to push through
rigorous and specific standards that raised the bar for all California
kids. Miraculously, they succeeded, and they took pride in the state
Board of Education’s vote for academic standards that called for all
eighth-graders to learn Algebra I.

Whatever happened to just solving for x like a normal human being would? I know I’m just some “unenlightened right-wing dummy from Pennsylvania” - but I got through math just fine and would like to think I have exemplary mathematics skills.

But what do I know?!?!?!?!?

Why should I have to write some hippie dissertation about what 2+2 means to me? How does solving for x make me “feel”? Who the hell cares. Just do the math problem and move on.

The teaching methods are so wussified these days. We need to support our children and give them a good education - but - why are we such nannies, such hand-holders, that we have to take math and make it more complicated and philosophical?

Silly people. Can’t wait until the debate about whether odd numbers can legally marry other odd numbers. Maybe PUSD could give me $11,000 to figure this out. It won’t be a conflict of interest or anything.

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The Real Zajac has a beautiful article up over at Foothill Cities about a hot topic in the blogosphere as of late: racism. Zajac discusses how - although it’s stupid to be a racist, we shouldn’t be trying to ban a line of thinking because, hey, like or not - that’s pretty “1984″-esque (I didn’t link “1984″ because if you don’t know the book, get the fuck off of my blog. Is that being book-ist?). Miss Havisham also chimes in with a powerful and personal story.

The word racism gets thrown around an awful lot in the Crown City. People who make fun of Muir are apparently racist. People who don’t want to develop homes in an area prone to being blighted are apparently racist. People who don’t like Indian food are racist, apparently. Some of our City Council members and other officials are apparently racist.

Hoge: Likes to use the “r” word

I recently read (and was inspired by) an article by Edwin Decker at the San Diego City Beat. I know I’ve mentioned this particular article before but he has a really, really good point that a lot of people in their high and mighty soapboxes forget: Isn’t everyone a little racist or intolerant of something or someone?

I sure know I am. So, for those of enemies who wish to use this as fodder against me..or for those of you who want to simply be amused - here’s a small excerpt of things/people/places I’m possibly racist or intolerant against:

• White people who treat me differently after they find out my father is black and I’m not 100% white
• Greenpeace.
• Stoners and drug addicts.
• Companies that don’t do drug testing.
• Kids with 20 piercings and 50 million tattoos who wonder why they can’t get a decent job.
• Goth kids who charge a higher cover charge if you’re not in “Goth attire” to their shitty little clubs with crap bartenders and slutty women that nobody wants to go to anyway..so be happy I’m fucking paying even $10 to get into your hole in the wall, you pathetic slags.
• Goth kids.
• Surfers. They’re not so tough. Oooooh they beat up the paparazzi. So what? Larry Wilson’s a surfer, apparently. Says a lot right there.
• Charities who stand outside of the 99 Cents Store and ask you for money. I’m shopping at the fucking 99 Cents Store..do you think I have any money?!
• For English, Press 1.
• “Sex In The City“, “Lipstick Jungle“, “Real Housewives of…“, “Desperate Housewives“, the WNBA, “How I Met Your Mother” and “American Idol“
• Armenian guys who tell you their name is Kevin but it’s really Kevork or something.
• And the Armenians in North Pasadena Heights who key cars of whites/blacks in “their” neighborhood and stole my girlfriend’s antenna ball.
• Black people who treat me differently after they find out my father is black (whether they’re nicer to me or not, it’s just not cool..treat me like a fucking human being..)
• Skinny blonde bitches in Paris Hilton sunglasses who still talk with a Valley Girl accent
• Skinny blonde bitches
• Gay guys who get drunk and make out with chicks and grab their boobs and then pass it off for the alcohol and not just being bisexual or a whore. You hear me, Lance????
• Chicks who get drunk and make out with chicks… Wait, no, I actually don’t mind that.
• Lakers, Dodgers, Raiders, Cowboys fans. You know what I’m talking about.
• People who make fun of you for not driving - until gas hit $4.00/gallon.
• Starbucks and all places like Starbucks. Gimme some gas station coffee, I’m fine.
• Latinos who say “Viva La Raza”. Dude, it would be like a white guy saying “White power”.
• “Business casual”. Unless you’re lifting boxes or working in a warehouse or somewhere where you get dirty a lot, we all should have to wear suits to our office jobs.
• Alhambra.
• Any race or nationality or ethnicity (including White people) living in the US in 2008 who says racism is bad but then only hang out with, converse with, deal with, date, etc. the people only from their race/nationality/ethnicity.
• San Francisco.
• Hollywood is starting to get on my nerves, too.
• Most of the Midwest and Southern U.S….and Arizona….and Oregon…and Delaware..and all the other states except California or Pennsylvania. Anyone not on that list is “ok”. Las Vegas is an exception. Maryland’s ok.
• 60-year-old hippie ladies that come to work, don’t do any work, pretend they are your supervisor, regale you with boring stories about doing drugs and going to see The Doors and all of that “Can Do 1960’s Attutide”, work from 12 noon to 9:45 p.m. and then you come in the next morning and find out they didn’t do any work and have to finish what they did, hide work from you so that they can “stay late” and then complain when you’re reading a newspaper for a few minutes, talking to your co-worker about sports or music, or go out for a smoke break - and they have somehow worked there for 3 years without reprimand.
• People who bum cigarettes when they don’t have any but then are stingy with their cigarettes when they do.
• Tori Amos fans. Why are they always crazy bitches who slit their wrists? Seriously. Name one hardcore Tori Amos fan you know that isn’t crazy. If she owns a couple CD’s, she’s not a hardcore Tori Amos fan.

I’ll start watching when a chick dunks…

Oh yeah - and illegal immigrants. Big time on that one.

Immigrants, I’m fine with. If you came to this country LEGALLY and passed a citizenship test and all that jazz..rock on…welcome to America…unless your family were Native Americans or taken over here by ships from Africa, your family also likely came through Ellis Island or somethin’ like that. Yay.

People jumping over borders and just slipping into the US, I’m *not* fine with.

Let’s face facts: Canadians aren’t jumping over the borders to take advantage of our liberal welfare system which helps people who are drug addicts and also helps people who aren’t even citizens but can’t help an actual American dude like me who falls down on his luck. So, I don’t think it’s racist to point out that it’s the Mexicans who are the main part of the illegal immigration problem.

Illegal immigrants come here with their hands already out. Illegal immigrants come here and expect US to suddenly learn Spanish. They complain about our schools and our public services and things not catering to them…well….guess what? You’re not a fucking American. We shouldn’t cater to you if you are an illegal. They come here and - yeah, some of them do “the jobs nobody else wants to do” but some of them also commit crimes and help out their families in Mexico. The US isn’t some kind of developmental territory to make Mexico a better place, I’m sorry.

Then, we try to vote against giving them any benefits here…the vote passes..and our Supreme Court overturns the vote.

Pisses me off.

Guess that’s somehow racist though - racist that I want to protect our country’s security and that I don’t want people to get a free pass in life..because I never did.

People always want to have a “dialogue” or a “talk” about race… I’d sure love to engage in one. I think talking about race makes some people feel more uncomfortable than ever (but not me!). Especially if you’re white - or perceived to be white, that is. The point is - racism sucks, racism happens, racism is still apparent. You’re doing a counterproductive thing, though, when you throw the word around too much and on too many things. I’m not trying to get people to sing “Love One Another Right Now” or anything - but - we sure do have to lighten the fuck up a little bit. That’s all I’m sayin’…I think people should be more honest and say what’s really on their minds. We’d probably learn that everyone’s a little intolerant of someone or something..and that there’s many exceptions to the things they’re intolerant of…I know there’s quite a few to things I’ve listed.
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Sid Tyler wants you to conserve water and will seriously hurt you if you don’t read this week’s Sid Tyler Facts:

• Sid Tyler can get blackjack with just one card.
• If you watch City Council meetings on an HD TV, Sid Tyler can actually reach into your living room and punch you in the face.
• Sid Tyler hates rich people. And he’s rich. And he also hates irony.
• Sid Tyler can split the atom. With his bare hands.
• Sid Tyler’s battle cry is “Bingo!”
• Sid Tyler once bench-pressed the state of Ohio - and all of its residents.
• What’s black and white and red all over? Sid Tyler’s newspaper after the paperboy talked some trash.
• Sid Tyler can walk, chew gum, and kick ass all at the same time.
• After Monday’s meeting, Margaret McAustin can’t stop staring at Sid Tyler.
• Sid Tyler makes onions cry.

Shiiiiit (is that racist, Virginia?)

- AP

One of the best comedians ever, George Carlin, has passed away at the age of 71.

I actually discovered some of his material at a very young age. My dad had some of those K-Tel comedy records and one of them had Carlin on it, back when he wasn’t doing blue material. It was a sample of a skit from a longer record called “Wonderful Wino”, about a drunken radio DJ. The skit was absolutely hilarious - I mean, my brothers and I still quote it. “Here’s a protest song from Danny & The Dressmakers called…’Don’t Want No War!’……Don’t want no war….don’t want no war….don’t want no war…….don’t want no job neither!” When I was a kid, I never knew that Mr. Conductor on Shining Time Station would turn out to be such a hilarious, controversial, and thought-provoking comedian…maybe even more than a comedian: a real artist.
As I got older, I also began to enjoy Carlin’s appearances in films (particularly him in Kevin Smith’s Dogma and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back - it’s the rule of the road!)

An extremely sad thing to wake up to read in the morning. Rest in peace, George - your comedy and entertainment and views you provided that definitely helped shape a young me and a others out there, I’m sure…..they will live on forever.

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After the brutal ass-whipping the Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Whose Team Name Makes No Sense gave to my beloved Phillies on Saturday, I decided to go on an adventure. Kelli was down in Irvine seeing the American Wake, my air conditioning was broke (and so was I) - so I called up the only other person able to handle the non-stop-rockstar-politician-Aaron Proctor party-express person I know: Miss Havisham.

We traveled o’er to the foreign lands of Monrovia to hang out at the free artist reception at Montecito Fine Arts College of Design that Frazgo posted about on Foothill Cities. We looked at some pretty cool art, heard a really neat band called Celebutante - whose unique, Gary Numan-influenced sound brought me back to the Aaron Proctor Classic days (and included an ex-member of Berlin), and drank tons of free (yeah, you heard me) alcohol. There was a lovely piece of art I’d want for my living room - too bad I didn’t have $1,000. We also got to pet a Collie.

After that shindig closed down shop, we headed over to a place I’ve always wanted to go - a dive bar in Arcadia known as The First Cabin. Any bar which blatantly advertises its opening of 6 a.m. daily is fine by me. We lurked in and found the place was PACKED - like quadruple the amount of people the 1881 here in the Crown City would get for Saturday night karaoke. PLUS - you can SMOKE in there. And the drinks were pretty cheap and pretty damn stiff as well. Which was a blessing, since Miss H and I are both keen on pulling a Sid Tyler on alcohol.

Havisham and I snarked about the bar, talking local blogging and politics, bringing up this Saturday’s blogger get together and generally reminded people that Miss Havisham and The Proc were in the hizouse, so you’d all best know your roles. Seriously, this bar rocks. It’s a true dive at its core and a rockin’ in-house band plays called Pat O’Brien & The Priests of Love - who do covers as well as their own original music. Chris Holden walked in and said “shiiiiiit” and walked out.

Ain’t nothin’ like a Miss Havisham Tea Party.

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Being a local dignitary means that occasionally you have to give back to the community some way, somehow. I give back by sharing my vast combination of book smarts and street smarts..ya know, for the children. Maybe I’m not helping conserve water or anything but I try to do this in the form of Public Service Announcements. Here are three more that I taped this weekend. Enjoy:

Cell Phones

Steve Madison

Crocs

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I’ll keep this short today and leave you with one of my favorite Carlin routines, one about children: Click here.

- AP

Happy Birthday to my brother, Adam, who turns 26 today. Yeah, we’re the same age until July 11th. Since it’s my brother’s birthday, it also means it’s the 14th anniversary of the OJ Chase - a/k/a, the reason why people like Greta Van Susteren stay on television for as long as they do.

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Pasadena just got a little sexier for a whole week. While Bogaard is out of town, trying to liberate Finland from the Nazis (Ann Erdman is playing Maria von Trapp) - Sexy Steve Haderlein, the Vice Mayor of Pasadena, is in charge. Last night, he became the first ever elected official to intentionally run a City Council meeting topless. Steve seemed to be having a good time up there - occasionally joking around and publicly noting how every agenda item comes back to traffic.

They actually did bring up a couple of good points at last night’s meeting. The first was whether to decide if AT&T U-Verse should be allowed in Pasadena. Duh! Of course they should. I’m tired of dealing with one cable company, specifically Charter - whose high-speed Internet service seemed to crap out on me for absolutely no reason over the weekend. They also tried to fuck me over with overcharges on the first bill - something I quickly rectified but I’m sure it’s something they do to lots of people. You can’t just threaten to quit and leave - there’s really no other alternative here in Pasadena. And - ya know - nothing says Podunk like only having one cable company to choose from.

The second item of note was a frank discussion about Pasadena Water & Power’s soaring prices. Maggie Mags made an excellent point that we (and by we, I mean they) need to be more transparent when it comes to rate hikes. Sending a little postcard just isn’t enough. How come PWP can’t put notices on the bills a few months ahead like every other normal company does? To paraphrase Councilwoman McAustin, a lot of people in this City go along with Pasadena’s crazy ass taxes - and they shouldn’t be dicked around (although this is the same person who supported Measure D, I’m gonna have to give her props for making a great comment like this). Madison (who - guess what? - phoned in) chimed in with the same thing - which was weak, boring and unoriginal - with a hint of douchebaggery. Has he been taking the Huell Howser class of repeating everything someone else just said?

I also enjoyed how everyone talked about a drought and wasting water while having big pitchers of water in front of them.

And - for those of you who don’t know - for the next whole week, I’m going to be the Interim Acting Deputy Vice Mayor. So, yeah, you’d better listen to what I have to say. Now go make The Proc a sandwich, no mustard.

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If you didn’t know by now, Robin’s Wood Fire BBQ & Grill is the greatest restaurant in Pasadena, owned by a great man, Robin Salzer. Behind every great man is an even greater woman (although, in my case, sometimes I’m behind the woman, if you’re pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down..) - and so I sat down with Ann Marie Villicana, all-star Realtor, former Pasadena City Councilmember, and - most important of all - Robin’s wife. The Aaron Proctor Interview Series continues….

The Proc: Have you ever sold someone a bridge in Brooklyn?

Ann Marie Villicana: No, but I’ve listed and sold 3 major properties immediately adjacent to bridges in Pasadena: an exquisite estate abutting the La Loma Bridge, the famous/infamous Vista del Arroyo bungalow property adjacent to the Colorado Bridge and a secluded estate right next to the Prospect Bridge. I guess I specialize in Pasadena Bridge properties! But not in Brooklyn. If I lived there, I might!

The Proc: What’s up with the WPRA? I wanted to start a wrestling promotion called the West Pasadena Rasslin’ Association once.

AMV: That sounds more interesting and maybe more accurate for the acronym.

The Proc: Which way is the right way to spell your last name? I’ve seen like 40 different spellings.

AMV: Villicana, sounds like a Villa, which is perfect for me selling homes.

The Proc: Who was cooler: Hardcastle or McCormick?

AMV: I don’t know either one, so they can’t be that cool!

The Proc: Remember that time you ran for Mayor?

AMV: Many still think I won and call me Mayor and ask me for help with the city! I rarely clarify the mistake! Ha ha

The Proc: Does your husband give you ribs shaped like cupid hearts for Valentine’s Day?

AMV: No, but this year could be a first due to your suggestion.

The Proc: How many different kinds of Villicana wines are there?

AMV: Many fine red wines in Paso Robles that are winning top awards…all served in glass bottles with corks. Sorry, nothing in card board boxes nor with screw tops! Go to Villicana.com for the scoop and directions.

The Proc: What do you think of Steve Madison?

AMV: The only man I think of is my husband, Robin Salzer.

The Proc: Why’d you make Robin shave his mustache off?

AMV: I knew he’d be much more handsome by revealing his face and great smile.

The Proc: Which is a better nickname for you? “AMV” or “The Ribmistress”?

AMV: A-MV is the nickname that many have called me for years, so it’s established and known.

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Kells Bells came home with an awesome surprise for me this weekend. Look at the Beanie Babies she bought:

They’re so cute and appropriately named “Righty” and “Lefty“. Guess which is which? Now all I need is one of these to complete the set:

I’m 12 years old.

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Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the blogosphere..Virginia Hoge’s raging hard-on for me and this website climaxes with an orgasm of crazy. I’d simply tell her to make a phone call to your local Wahh-One-One..but that would be letting Ginny off far too easy.

A few weeks ago, I snail-mailed Virginia Hoge the coveted Ham And Egger Award for the week. I snail mail everyone the award. Some were even so proud of it, they photocopied it for all their friends at City Hall to see. I found her address on this artistic website (thanks Google). Of course - after she received it in the mail it led to the following post o’er on her blog:

This came in the mail from Aaron Proctor last week, how nice of him to remember my birthday.He listed the return address as: Proctor for Mayor.com, 1559 S. Hill Ave., Pasadena, CA 91107 (what was written on the envelope)*

The post was titled something like “AARON PROCTOR BIRTHDAY HATE CARD!” Is this chick for real?! This is priceless. First, I’m no dummy - I used my old mailing address which now forwards to my brand new pad. Secondly, I had *no* idea it was her birthday - but that’s great. Third, she really really needs to know that Google is her friend and if she doesn’t want people sending her Ham & Egger Awards, to not have your home mailing address posted on some website.

All of these things has lead Virginia Hoge on yet another Anti-Proctor Crazy Bitch Crusade, leaving comments like these on blogs across the `sphere:

Aaron Proctor is a hench-man for the Right - he does not have a “political
future” - he exists only to stir up hate against all of our local
political “good guys” (like Syd Tyler and the Mayor) and support the “bad
guys” like Steve Haderlein (who he calls “sexy”).Its time the local blogging community recognized this, and realized that
they can do something about it.

I’m not a henchman. I’m a fucking leader. The other five Republicans in Pasadena walk a royal pace behind me and get me my Wendy’s. And, are you really that much of a half-wit, Virginia? Do you know anything about the Internet? You’ve never heard of Chuck Norris Facts - those are simply rehashed for Sid Tyler? And how the fuck is Steve Haderlein a bad guy? Did he get you and your hippie dippie friends kicked out of a park for trying to reenact the nude scene from “Hair”? Let the sunshine in - to your brain.

I think my political future is quite bright and I think that’s what scares you, Virginia. I think I’m waking a lot of people up - people dormant from Pasadena’s lull of a political scene before I came around. If you thought I was some flash-in-the-pan (or “One trick pony” as your buddy Larry says)…you probably wouldn’t be wasting your time “Trying to get the word out”. Don’t take my word for it - take the word of the ever-growing legions of The Proc’s fans out there:

Like him, dislike him people all over the SGV believe he is a guy to watch. He is a smart guy, he gets to the heart of matters quickly. Many believe when he controls the message delivery better he will have a pretty bright political future.

- Frazgo.

Anyhoo….there’s also this chestnut - a comment posted over on Frank Girardot’s blog:

Now I have received hate-mail from Aaron Proctor:

http://pasadenanewprogressive.blogspot.com/2008/06/aaron-proctors-hate-birthday-card.html

He is harassing me, the question remains, Why?

I have also noticed he is also harassing all of our local left-leaning politicians in town (like Syd Tyler and Steve Madison) on his blog.

Because it’s hilarious to see your reaction? Because every time you go on one of your crazy crusades, my blog hits go up and my site gets more attention? It’s no more clearer than that. You’d think a rational person would realize this.

But this isn’t rational, this is Virginia Olive Hoge - “legendary letter writer” and otherwise useless - she turns the crazy up a little, pulling a textbook liberal tactic, and begins calling me racist for the following comments. This wreck of a blog entry can only be described accurately by one man - and that’s WWE announcer, Jim Ross:

[in case anyone missed this, here is Aaron Proctor on John Muir high school - yes the alma matter of Jackie Robinson. I don’t know about you, but when I see racism like this existing in 2008, I wonder what Jackie would think, and I am ashamed that this level of racism is still happening today in Pasadena.]excerpt from Proctor for Mayor.com:

Ummm, I might be going out on a limb here, but I know that I’m pretty ashamed and embarrassed we can’t just make John Muir High School a part of La Canada or something. Yeah, I’m ashamed of having that school in my City. Yeah, I think that knowing 1+1 might just make you the Valedictorian of that school. I, for one, think it’s funny to badmouth and continue lambasting such a horrible school and school district to boot. It’s a cheap, easy, funny joke.

• Wanna know the way kids graduate for John Muir? Take the “f” out of way.

This is hilarious. How in the hell were my comments against John Muir High School racist again? Is it because black people and Hispanic people go there? Is that how it’s racist? So, with your enlightened logic, if I were to say that I can’t stand the Paseo - am I racist because I’ve seen a black guy there before? You know, I think that movie “Man On Fire” totally sucked. Am I racist because Denzel Washington was in the star role? What kind of idiot logic is this?

Virginia - you should really wake up. You’re not “getting the word out” about me. I do a damn fine job of that myself. What you’re doing are other things like “increasing my web traffic” and “showing Pasadena how much of a retard you are”. Thanks, Virginia. Christmas came quite early this year.

I thought we were past all of the grade school stuff - but it’s this simple, Virginia. You don’t like what I have to say? Don’t read my fuckin’ blog. You don’t like my views? There’s plenty of crazies out there who share the same ideas as you. You want to “get the word out about The Proc so they can see what a horrible person he is”? You’re doing a hell of a counterproductive job.

I swear, who knew a lil’ old picture of me holding a bunch of ham and eggs was going to drive so many people so insane? Common sense totally skipped over this woman. Can’t wait until she tries to get my blog shut down like she did to Rene Amy’s listserv a few years back.

By the way, did you see my public service announcements? More are on their way - but check this, this, and this out first!

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When is Dave Allenstein taking over for Fred Ortega?!

Be seeing you,

- AP

Guess who wants MORE MONEY!? Mary Dee Romney warned me about this. Dormitas has already put in his beautiful two cents. Here’s the scoop from the PSN last week:

PASADENA - Voters in the Pasadena Unified School District slightly prefer a bond over a parcel tax to pay for campus improvements, according to recent surveys.

In two surveys conducted last month that sampled 500 voters, 61 percent said they would support a proposed $300 million bond measure.

By contrast, 60 percent of voters said they would go for a parcel tax.

PUSD school board members commissioned the survey as a way to gauge community support for either a bond measure or parcel tax on the November ballot.

A parcel tax would need a two-thirds majority to pass, while a bond measure would need 55 percent approval from voters.

Yep, PUSD wants more of our money in the form of another proposed tax that would head to the ballot in November - ya know, that big election where all kinds of idiots are going to come out of the woodwork to vote for Obama and just hit “Yes” on the parcel tax `cause it sounds good because they’re 18 years old and know nothing about politics. Why? Where would it be going, this time? Does someone in the PEF have a maid who needs a raise? Seriously? They just try to slip this shit in.

Much like others, I’d also like to know just who was surveyed? I’d also like to know who in their right mind would just throw their money away like this? Are these descendants of the people who funded the Titanic? You’re gonna get the same result.

I’m glad all of this has come up..because it’s time to reveal #5 on the list of The Ten People Ruining Pasadena.

Peter Dreier.

He’s without a doubt making a mockery of our political system here in Pasadena, under the guise of “trying to help public schools” - and not admitting that he and others who have made this list (like Virginia Hoge) are furthering their own Socialist agendas upon the Crown City.

To guys like Dreier, everything is simple. The schools are failing? Give them more money.

How are we going to get more money? Let’s slip a parcel tax or bond measure onto the November ballot.

Who is going to pay for this? Everyone in Pasadena, even people who don’t have children or don’t send their kids to PUSD.

Why? Because the schools are failing because of Republicans and illegal immigrants (one of the most hilarious arguments that he’s actually made).

Oh - and go ahead and try to grill Peter about the PEF and if they’re really the ones in charge. He’ll lose his friggin’ mind (and, hopefully, will shave off that nasty beard).

Peter is your garden variety Pasadena uber-liberal. Elitist, secretly racist, and possessing actually no common sense. He fits right in at the #5 spot on my list of the Ten People Ruining Pasadena.

**

You know, being a local dignitary and local treasure isn’t all fun and games. Because of the status I hold in this community, I sometimes am required - by an unwritten rule in the Pasadena Way - to do public service related things. It’s my way of “giving back” to the community that made me The Most Electrifying Man in Pasadena.

I’ve always been a fan of public service announcements or PSAs. They really get the point across, especially because celebrities know everything and we don’t know anything. I seriously didn’t know cocaine was bad until Dennis Franz told me on one of those “The More You Know” commercials I saw when I was 10 or 11 years old.

So, I filmed some of my own Public Service Announcements over the weekend. Enjoy!

Here’s one about alcoholism.

Here’s another one about the Internet sex trade. (19 people in Pasadena should have seen this one)

And finally, why the public library opens worlds of imagination.

**

We’ve got a new blogger in town.  Pasadena’s Closet Conservative.  Not quite sure if this is a parody or if this blog is 100% real - but whatever the deal is, there’s some really good stuff over on that site.

Which reminds me - did you get your invite yet to the upcoming blogger get together on June 28th?  If not, simply drop me a line by clicking on “Contact” at the top of this site.  I’ll send the invitation to your e-mail address.

**
Let’s start the week off right with some Sid Tyler Facts:

• Sid Tyler uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
• The elephant is actually the second official logo of the GOP. The first logo was Sid Tyler with a kitten in his mouth.
• Sid Tyler once challenged Lance Armstrong to a “who has more testicles” contest.  Sid Tyler won.  By 5.
• Sid Tyler doesn’t believe in Germany.
• Sid Tyler does not own an oven nor a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Sid Tyler built Rome in one day.

Be seeing you,

- AP