The Adventures of Aaron Proctor

Over at Ann Erdman’s blog, she has pics of a ceremony at the Pasadena Convention Center construction site. Included are tons of pictures of city dignitaries (sans The Proc) putting their tag on the final steel girder. Call the graffiti hotline at (626) 744-7622.

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There’s an article by Mr. Thursday Morning Andre Coleman in this week’s PW about how PUSD is going to have a tough time (as of right now) pulling the wool over people’s eyes when asking the voters to approve a new bond measure or parcel tax. I think some of us forgetting that people who are going out and voting blindly this November (trust me - there’s a lot of them here in Pasadena) might vote yes blindly on this tax/bond. PUSD knows this and is taking full advantage.

Of course, Barry Gordon was quoted in the article - who I’m sure was “randomly” selected to take part in the phone survey about the dealy-o. Right after they got off the phone with Ginny Hoge and Peter Dreier, I’m sure. Barry’s a nice guy - hey - he was the Nestle Quik bunny - and he’s also a guy who thinks taxes solve everything and throwing money at something not worth throwing money toward at the moment is going to make everything perfect in the world.

I happen to like to get my facts from Mary Dee Romney. It helps that she’s easy on the eyes and I don’t picture Donatello from the Ninja Turtles when she’s talking:

Thanks to Rene Amy for attending last Friday’s Facilities Master Plan Committee (FMPC) meeting when I had commitments to a family funeral.

I since have received accounts of Friday’s meeting.

All confirm what I reported earlier, i.e., that the FMPC is not a *real* committee but window-dressing for a push by Edwin Diaz, Stephen Brinkman and the PEF/BOE majority to hurriedly meet November ballot deadlines for additional new property assessments of $50 for every $100,000 of assessed value through a new General Obligation Bond (GOB) - approximately $500,000,000 in new indebtedness.

Any new assessments approved in November will be in “addition to” present debt service on Measure Y bond funding.

Recall that property owners still are paying $40.08/$100,000 for Measure Y
indebtedness ($240,000,000) - and will continue to pay until 2020.

[Note: Measure Y bond issues were refinanced in 2004 and 2005 yielding an
additional $5,125,000 and $9,635,000, respectively; along with Prop. 1A monies in the approximate amount of $30,000,000, Measure Y improvements have been funded at just over $284,000,000.]

What do Mr. Diaz, Mr. Brinkman and the PEF/BOE majority intend to do for public education with new bond money dedicated for facilities?

It is difficult to know.

Mr. Selinske asked Mr. Diaz during a recent BOE meeting how he planned to use any anticipated new tax monies.

Mr. Diaz rattled off a random “wish list” making it clear no plan/priorities had
been discussed for the spending of what could be half a *billion* dollars in
facilities funding paid by local property owners.

In the current economy, in a district with declining enrollment and excess
capacity with no clear demographic guidelines until the 2010 census, there are troubling clues as to how this money will be directed:

1) The FMPC will remain a window-dressing committee;

2) The district will need “appropriate facilities” at Muir for community
“alliances” and career/ technical academies;

3) Rose City Continuation School will need to build capacity (enrollment),
requiring that Oak Knoll students move to the Edison campus;

4) Health service partners (counseling/mental health) will require facility space at all three levels (elementary, middle and high schools) - including
administrative space;

5) Space will be required for after-school programs.

The above, apparently, are the programmatic justifications for a half-billion
dollar facilities bond to support local public *education.*

Of considerable concern due to the hurried push to meet November ballot deadlines (ballot arguments, translation, publication, etc.), is the staff imposition of equally hurried architectural site reviews and inventories for site project lists.

Mr. Brinkman has acknowledged that some site reviews were conducted by phone and by email.

With protests reportedly registered both from members of the FMPC and from the architects on the project that the November tax timeline is unreasonable, Mr. Diaz and Mr. Brinkman continue to march toward November with a “half-baked” work product.

Being new to Pasadena these two gentlemen apparently do not understand that local taxpayers too often have seen the PUSD’s chase for funds end in fallen souffles.

Again . . . Mr. Diaz, Mr. Brinkman and the PEF/BOE, in prematurely pushing a bond measure for the convenience of exploiting an uninformed electorate in November, will lose in trust what they hope to gain in funding.

Thanks to all who have shared their thoughts off-list on these matters!

Mary Dee

[NOTE: The BOE and senior staff have discussed at BOE workshop meetings that voters in general elections are less informed on local matters, the implication being that ignorant voters in a general election will be more inclined to support a school bond measure and thereby - by sheer numbers - overcome statistical unknowns revealed in surveys; therefore the big push by Mr. Diaz, Mr. Brinkman and the PEF/BOE majority for a *November* bond initiative.]

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So - let me get this straight. Miss Havisham reports about trash and ends up getting a citation of some kind - en Espanol, no less.

I’ve got a few problems with this.

1. Why is she being penalized for doing her civic duty?
2. Why are we wasting money printing things in Spanish? Seriously. You know how much money we’d save if we didn’t translate City documents? At least thousands, I’m sure. Stop coddling people and get them to learn English. The best way is if we stop printing shit in Spanish and whatever the fuck Tagalog is. I also notice a lot of people who claim they don’t speak English can speak it all right when they’re complaining about something. Ever see Public Comment at City Council?
3. ¿Por qué?
4. I called Miss H’s Councilman, Chris Holden about the matter and this is all he had to say.
5. It’s her fault that some assclown is dumping trash on her lawn?

Way to investigate, Pasadena. It’s obvious this is just another one of those cash register fines. You know, the kinds of fines where they can pull the lever anytime to generate even more money from us regular folk. If you want to run the city like a turnkey operation, open a damn car wash. Comprende?

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Time for another installment of everyone’s favorite morning comic strip, “You Can’t Fight City Hall!”

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Nice article in the PW this week about Glendale’s proposed smoking ban. I find it funny that all over a place that considers itself “open-minded”, practically has decriminalized marijuana, lets two dudes marry each other, and harbors illegal immigrants can be so harsh and hardcore about smoking. I thought we were the “wacky, play by no rules” state. Nahhhh. Sometimes I wonder if the real reason why we’re banning smoking is because people are still pretty much “ok” with smoking cigarettes in the South and the Midwest and back East and we can’t be anything like those “anachronistic right-wing loonies.”

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I spoke with Iron Maggie on the phone Thursday morning. I congratulated her on what she said/did to Steve Madison on Monday. At first, I think she thought I was mocking her (with her trademark “Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrron!” - imagine Colonel Klink talking to Hogan) - and then I let her know that she’s the whole blogosphere’s (and by whole blogosphere, I mean The Proc) hero this week and to keep up the good work. She let me know she had a long day and she was just doing her job - but come on - Maserati Madison got OWNED. Ownership!!!!!! Ham and eggs in his face and all over the place! I think I’ve had wet dreams about that. Hopefully more Councilmembers follow suit. I am making everyone around the dais an offer they can’t refuse:

$2.50 if you throw a cup of water at him. Onward, Pasadena soldiers!

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What is up with June 25th? On June 25th, 2007 - I received the most hits in a one day ever. Partially due to the fact people were Googling for more info on the Chris Benoit thing. Then, that record was shattered on June 11th, 2008 - don’t know exactly why. Now - both records have been completely erased - this past Wednesday, June 25, 2008 is now the date I’ve received the highest amount of traffic. UPDATE: That record was beaten by about 10 hits yesterday, June 26th! Maybe I should stop counting??? Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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See you all at the picnic tomorrow!!!!! If you didn’t get an evite, let me know. Oh - and I think the Gold Line will end up going all the way to San Dimas. In 2052.

This chick’s a looker, huh? And she has a Russian accent.

And now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

- G.I. Joe, I mean…

- AP

Run, don’t walk, to your local whatever-it-is and pick up this week’s Pasadena Weekly. There’s been a complete redesign of the paper…and a special surprise on the tables of contents page. More on that tomorrow.

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My companion series to The Ten People Ruining Pasadena - The Ten Things I Love About Pasadena - continues today with #8:

#8: Pasadena’s Wild Parrots!

Not widely known to people outside of the Crown City, but Pasadena is home to some really cute (and really loud) wild parrots. Wikipedia sez:

Pasadena has a population of naturalized parrots. The city’s website identifies one, a Red-crowned amazon parrot, but according to the [6] Parrot Project of Los Angeles, the parrots fall into as many as five different groups. There is a cycle of regular public outcry about the noise and the sheer oddity of the birds’ presence, but most Pasadenans seem to have come to accept the birds as part of the city’s life. They can be seen year-round, but are especially noticeable in the winter. The birds are definitely gregarious, and the amount of disturbance their chatter creates is related to the time of day they may choose to chatter.

Theories and myths abound on how these parrots came to claim Pasadena and surrounding towns as their home. A heavily accepted story by longtime residents of the area is that they were part of the stock at Simpson’s Nursery on East Colorado Blvd. in the Lamanda Park area. The nursery was burned down in 1959, and the parrots were thereby released to forage in the lush Pasadena area. It is also possible that some parrots moved northward from their normal range in central and northern Mexico as human habitation in the Pasadena area created artificial habitat in which the parrots could survive. Among their favorite foods are the berry kernels of the cedar trees that grow in great abundance around Pasadena.

And Ben over at The Sky Is Big In Pasadena says:

a little known fact about pasadena is that it is home to many flocks of parrots. rumor has it that these foreign birds escaped into the wild during a fire at a bird farm.

There are a ton of theories as to why they’re exactly here. I heard that Sid Tyler once mated with a parrot after a drunken evening at The 35er (back when it was actually a dive bar) and fathered thousands of them.

Regardless of where they’re from - they’re here, they’re feathered, so get used to it. I notice that you can hear them returning and coming back to the area during the Spring and Fall months - their loud squawking can be heard all the way out in Arcadia and Monrovia. Kind of becomes peaceful and quaint after a while. The first time I experienced this was when I first came here early in this decade and thought I was in an Alfred Hitchcock film.

I also hear they’ve stayed in Pasadena because they like our choices of private schools and can commute to work via the Gold Line.

Whatever the real reason is that they’re here or why they choose to stay, it’s a really special feeling when you get up close to one of these birds. You know that you’re in a special place and a special town and all that crap. They’re part of the Pasadena Identity and nobody else has really got `em. So, that’s why the wild parrots are one of the Ten Things I Love About Pasadena.

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Time for another edition of everyone’s favorite morning comic, You Can’t Fight City Hall!

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The Game recently visited the kids at John Muir High to give them a pep talk, according to some guy who writes for the PSN:

Multi-platinum-selling hip-hop artist The Game has been shot seven times, served jail time, and watched people close to him lose their lives to violence.

On Tuesday afternoon, the rapper - dressed in a white T-shirt, baseball cap and chunky gold chain - stepped into a packed classroom at John Muir High School to tell teens there is a better way.

“I just want you to stay alive,” said the 28-year-old artist, who was born Jayceon Taylor.

Ummmm….yeah. `Cause, if I had kids, I’d totally want them to get advice on their lives from The Game. Was Amy Winehouse busy that day? Maybe next year they could get upstanding citizens like R. Kelly, Britney Spears, or Nick Hogan to show kids “a better way”.

Ya know, the schools could always contact me to speak to the kids. I’m Pasadena’s paragon of virtue, after all.

Joe Hopkins is gonna be pissed when he hears about this story. Also, Virginia Hoge thinks this post is racist.

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I like to send drawings to Mayor Bogaard. I think it a) creeps him out, b) probably makes him laugh, c) annoys his harem of secretaries, and d) it’s fucking hilarious. Recently, I sent him this:

I’m sure he enjoys it lots.
Be seeing you,

- AP

Bye, Bye Ortega! Leftovers From City Hall reports on PSN’s Fred Ortega’s last day at this link. It looks like Jennifer McLain will take over West Covina reporting and some new guy named Don Edelweiss will be the newest Ham And Egger in Pasadena.

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Time for another installment of my new comic strip, You Can’t Fight City Hall!

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Kelly LC Russell is a writer. Kelly LC Russell is a grrlie. Kelly LC Russell likes to blather. Kelly LC Russell lives on the West Coast. So, it makes sense that she has a blog called West Coast Grrlie Blather. It’s not as much political as it is really, really good photography.

Let’s see what happens when this Pasadena photo-storian grapples with The Proc in the Aaron Proctor Interview Series:

The Proc: Why did Cynthia Kurtz steal your hairdo?

Kelly Russell: She wanted to be recognized in District 1.

The Proc: How do you think the blogosphere has impacted the local Pasadena political scene?

KR: Openness is good. Politicians and policy makers know we’re watching them, and we’re conversing with each other about what’s going on in a very public forum. Look at Paul Little—he left City Council and got a blog.

AP: What’s it like living in the Northwest?

KR: We always know where the tv remote control is, because we’re always turning the volume up to drown out the sound of helicopters. We don’t moan about it, we just do it.

AP: What’s the “LC” for?

KR: 150. I’m dyslexic.

AP: You’re originally from England. Should I call you a traitor?

KR: Nationalism is kitsch.

AP: Whitney Houston told me to ask you “How do I know if he really loves me”?

KR: Girlfriend, you know he really loves you if his name isn’t Bobby Brown.

AP: What do you think of Steve Madison?

KR: My Maserati does 186.

AP: What’s your favorite summertime activity?

KR: The Obon Festival at the Pasadena Buddhist Church. One bite of the teriyaki chicken reveals the entirety of the eightfold path.

AP: Thanks for that Doctor Who TARDIS piggy bank. Did you know that when I put money in it, it disappears into another time and dimension?

KR: Yes, and and I know that Sid Tyler can retrieve it.

AP: Is there such thing as East Coast Grrlie Blather?

KR: There is—after I knock back a few at the Algonquin Hotel.

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Rock on, and thanks Kelly. You’ll go down in history with everyone from Bill Bogaard to Whazzat Kangaroo in the Aaron Proctor Interview Series.

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Hulk Hogan is such a douchebag. It sucks, too. He was a hero of mine growing up (and a hero when Kelli was growing up, too). I mean, in a way, he saved the wrestling industry when it was down in the doldrums in the late 90’s by becoming a villain…one of the few things he ever did the right way. You know, I could deal with him thinking he was the wrestling business, I could deal with his lies about “inventing theme music” and “inventing t-shirts” - I could even deal with him being a dick to younger wrestlers and not realizing he was far past his prime. All of this stuff as of late with his son’s drag racing car crash (which ended up permanently paralyzing the other dude) and his affair with a girl that looks like a Dateline NBC decoy - it just proves a few things to me:

1. Hulkamania is dead as a doornail in my book.
2. Ric Flair was the wrestling business, not Hulk
3. All of the stories about him being a dick to other wrestlers, promoters, etc. - I now fully believe them.
4. He and his son are being outed for the fakes that they are.
5. I’m a little weirded out about his affair with the chick that looks like his daughter.

Did anyone see Hulk’s pathetic ass on Larry King the other night? I can’t believe he’s still going through with the whole reality show thing.

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I went to John and Ken’s protest in Memorial Park yesterday afternoon. The whole reason for it was to show just how stupid State Senator Jack Scott’s idea to ban mylar balloons is. These guys are awesome and you should really listen to their show on KFI - they make a LOT of sense. A lot more sense than all the fucking pundits on any other shows I hear. I got a bunch of pics and videos I’d like to share with you:

I arrived at the park a little after 3 pm. There was a small crowd on hand which got quite larger as the 5 o’clock hour approached. The theme was “Jack Scott: SOB.” Obviously, SOB stood for “Save Our Balloons” - then I realized, he’s an SOB for being another California Liberal trying to take away yet another personal freedom. Funny how Democrats whine and cry about the children and then want to take something away from them.

John & Ken were set up in the park on the Raymond Street side.

Tables were set up by the balloon industry where you could sign petitions and get a free balloon to show your support.

This was GREAT - a balloon effigy of Jack Scott himself. Here’s another shot of that:

Free balloon animals for the kids by Buster Balloon and Annie Bannanie!

I *finally* met Frank Girardot in person. Such a cool guy!

A member of the Balloon Council (guy in sunglasses, Pete McDonough) talks to some nobody from the Star-News.

Around 3:30 p.m., a big paddy wagon from the Pasadena PD showed up. Wow, way to look out for the Northwest. I guess Bogey told them there’s conservatives in Memorial Park, so they need to be on the look out.

I spoke with Tara Silva and Francine, two women from the Balloon Factory all the way up in Lancaster, CA. They made the drive to show their support. Tara said that this whole balloon ban was “outrageous”. They mentioned how they’ve never had a power outage due to a balloon or anything like that.

And hey…look who else I ran into?

Brian Fuller! Candidate for Assembly against “Fat Tony“. Obviously he’s not as stupid as Fat Tony is, a friend and supporter of Jack Scott’s proposed mylar balloon ban.

Video:

John & Ken go over PG&E’s top ten power outages of 2007, none of which are related to Mylar balloons.

The balloon effigy of Jack Scott.

“La Raza” likes John & Ken (dude’s words, not mine)

UPDATE:  Not my video but a cool video of little kids stomping on the Jack Scott effigy.

I don’t care what others say - I think this protest drew a lot of attention to this issue and how our tax dollars are not at work when we elect people like Jack Scott. For more info on how to Save Our Balloons, visit John & Ken’s website or listen to their show on KFI.

Be seeing you,

- AP

It’s time for the debut of my new weekly comic strip, “You Can’t Fight City Hall!”

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Gay marriage is going to be something we’ll be all talking about heavily until November since there’s going to be another ballot measure here in California by then to quell the same-sex marriages that will begin happening here later this month, according to Reuters:

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - U.S. opponents of gay marriage pushed their campaign on both coasts this week, setting it up as a potential hot-button issue in the November 4 elections around the country.

Activists said on Tuesday California was set for its biggest political battle in years after it was announced the November ballot would include a constitutional amendment limiting marriage to unions between men and women.

Ok - so before any of you bleeding-heart, whiny, mamby-pamby, pussy liberals out there start saying “PROCTOR’S AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE AND HATES GAYS BECAUSE HE’S A REPUBLICAN!” - hear me out.

I am not against gay marriage and I certainly don’t hate gay people. Yeah, I give a certain Public Editor a lot of hell because I think he’s gay - but only because I think it’s kind of a dick move to get married, raise a family, and be gay on the side, ya know? Not nice at all. Plus, people have been saying that about this dude for years and years and years - I was just the first person to really publicly give him a hard time (that’s what he said?)

I’m totally fine with it (gays and gay marriage). I don’t care if two dudes or two chicks want to tie the knot (the latter sounding quite hot!) - if it makes them happy, rock on, the Constitution allows them to pursue their happiness. I honestly don’t think the government should be telling any of us who or who we can’t marry. I don’t believe in the IRS, so I don’t believe in marriage as a tax purpose, so I don’t care who’s gettin’ hitched.

Here’s my problem with the whole thing. Here’s what really pisses me off about this whole ordeal ever since the Supreme Court changed things back on May 15th:

In the year 2000, you guys here voted - with like 61% of the vote - that marriage is between a man and a woman. Proposition 22. The whole state voted. Yes, that means there are other places in California besides LA and San Francisco that might not be so gay-friendly or might like gays but think marriage is between a man and a woman. So grow a pair of balls, because, LA - you’re not too far behind on the “World’s Most Pussiest Cities” list with San Francisco leading the pack. Whatever the case, gay marriage was defeated with a sorta large majority.

8 years later, the Supreme Court goes “Ehhh, we don’t like that law” and overturns it.

You should be pretty pissed off…even if you support gay marriage, like I do. Why? Because the Supreme Court pretty much said “Fuck you, we don’t care how you voted, we’re overturning it”.

Remember Proposition 187? Boy did we get fucked on that one. We were going to stop wasting our money on giving illegal immigrants health care, social services, etc (something I believe we should NOT be wasting money on). It PASSED with 58.8% of the vote. Then, the court turned it over because it didn’t like it.

I mean, it’s like Kelli told me the other day - Kelli, someone who wasn’t too fond of or gave little attention to politics before she met me - “Why do they do it? Does our vote not count?” Seems that way sometimes, darling, seems that way.
To me, overturning ballot initiatives that people have already voted on means not only does our vote not count but we have a sour fucking grapes Hillary Clinton-esque sore loser of a Supreme Court in this State.

Pretty Communist to have all of your people vote on something only to overturn it with a big middle finger.

And everyone wonders why we’re the joke to the rest of the country? Because we’re too busy not letting votes count and complaining about infringing upon people’s personal freedoms like a dude’s right to marry another dude (or, I guess, an illegal’s right to rape our health & social care system?) - then we turn around and ban mylar balloons and smoking.

What a fucking joke.

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According to the best blow-by-blow coverage of Council meetings in town, Dormitas’ blog, the Council wants to have a little retreat at the Rose Bowl on July 12th (the day after my birthday!).

Way to plan a surprise birthday guys. No, seriously, it was at the request of Maserati Madison. Bogaard said they were also going to invite their City Manager candidates. Wow - a retreat at the Rose Bowl for City Manager candidates? But I thought (whiny voice) little old Pasadena was just a wittle witty bitty town? (whiny voice off)

Well, one of my sources tells me what will be really going on at that retreat:

TOP TEN THINGS REALLY GOING ON AT JULY’S COUNCIL RETREAT

10. Council will be split in half and reenact the final seconds of the Boise State-Oklahoma Fiesta Bowl game from a couple of years ago
9. Building secret float for the Rose Parade entitled “What Have We Done For Pasadena Lately?”
8. Moonie weddings
7. More assgrabbing and gladhanding than you could shake a chap-stick at
6. Using Rose Bowl retreat as a diversion, it’s really just Councils once a year trip to Vegas.
5. Big World of Warcraft tournament for City Councils all across the Southland
4. Intervention for Victor Gordo’s weight problem
3. Once and for all, taking a weekend to “figure out what a blog is.”
2. Whatever they do, we know who will be phoning in
1. A huge orgy

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Happy Wednesday.

Be seeing you,

- AP